Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Pull up a chair, pour a cuppa and settle in.
All are welcome to join the fun, the silliness, the conversations. If you don’t know...just ask! Some things really do require a bit of explanation.
There will be a few surprises along the way, all good ones, we hope.
We are here to keep building the Daily Kos Community.
We post Mon-Sun at 10:30 a.m. Eastern.
Pie fights will be met with outrageous ridicule and insults. Trolls will be incinerated and served at the next group BBQ. As briquettes.
Now for the explanation of the title….
Once upon a time...
a Dear Little Soul had a lovely carriage (OK, it was really a car. Work with me, here.). One day, the carriage would start, but the steering wheel seemed frozen in place! What sorcery is this??
A young squire came to her aid and opined that it was The Serpentine Belt at fault. With visions of evil serpents torturing her thoughts, the Dear Little Soul (DLS) inquired if it could be fixed.
“Of course!” said the squire. ‘’I shall convey you to the Emporium Of Carriage Parts and we shall get the demon belt replaced, lickety split.’’ The young squire was an optimist, as most young squires and dragon trainers are.
They hied themselves thither and procured a replacement belt. Young squire got under the carriage and with much exclaiming and bad language, the old belt came off. Huzzah!!! The young squire then worked valiantly to get the new belt on.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
‘’Have it towed to yonder Place of Carriage Repairs. I can recommend them, for they have done bodacious work upon my own carriage, verily. ‘’
Because the carriage could not run without The Serpentine Belt, the DLS had it towed. Luckily her insurance company (which offered excellent service and really, really annoying commercials) covered the towing charge. The Nice Lady at the Place of Carriage Repairs was very kind, and assured her that all would be well. The carriage was dropped off on Monday evening, so they could start on repairs bright and early on Tuesday morning.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
There was a plague of illness and scheduled time off in the Place of Carriage Repairs and only one tech was at work on Tuesday. Alas and alack, but nowt to do but wait for Wednesday. For certain, it would be done Wednesday!
Alas. It was not meant to be.
On Wednesday, repairs commenced early in the day. The hours ticked by, and in the early evening, before twilight covered the earth, the Dear Little Soul contacted the Place of Carriage Repair to inquire about her carriage. The Nice Lady at the Place of Carriage Repairs informed the Dear Little Soul that the alternator was kaput, verklempt, and also, too...a total loss. The very nice people at the Place of Carriage Repairs let her buy the expensive part from a less expensive store, to save her some money. Cheers! The part was procured, thanks to the young squire, and delivered for installation. So, the car would be ready on Thursday.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
The new alternator of energy was installed in the carriage, and a new lever to help it run properly went on, as well. Everything that could be done, was being done, to fit the carriage with a new Serpentine Belt. Sadly, like the Glass Slipper on Esmerelda’s fat, mishapen, cloven hoof...it refused to fit. The nice people at the Place of Carriage Repairs sent for a second Serpentine Belt. It would be put on and the carrage would be ready on Friday.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
The workers of carriages had tried everything they knew to get the Serpentine Belt From Hell to fit. Everything. Things that are not fit for a family blog!! 😳 There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The sodding belt...would not fit!! Finally, the workers of carriages lay in heaps of exhausted wreckage.
They valiantly assured the Dear Little Soul that they would make that sodding belt fit, and the carriage would be ready on Saturday.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
On Saturday morning, the DLS called to ask how things were going with her much-needed carriage. “It will be ready this afternoon!” she was assured. So she hitched a ride in the carriage of her Bestie and off they went to market, to market to buy a fat pig...or at the very least, parts thereof! The carriage would be ready by the time they got back!
Alas. It was not meant to be.
The sodding Serpentine Belt From Hell….would not fit!!!
At eight of the clock on Saturday night, the machine of talking rang, and lo!! It was the Nice Lady from The Place of Carriage Repairs! Said Place closes at six of the clock, so this was most curious. What ho! A third belt of the serpentine persuasion and been located and purchased and, “The sonofabitching bastard thing is on the sonofabitching carriage, at last!!” The Dear Little Soul pardoned her profane language, and echoed it with some of her own. Huzzah!!! The carriage could be picked up on Sunday.
Alas. It was not mean to be.
When the Dear Little Soul arrived at the Place of Carriage Repairs, conveyed by her Bestie and partner in Sass, she was informed that the battery in her carriage would not hold a charge. She and Bestie hied themselves thither away to the Emporium of Batteries (and other automotive accoutrement) where she had originally purchased said battery. A full refund was awarded, and a new battery was carried to her conveyance. All Hail Blessed Luck!!!
Upon return to the Place of Carriage Repairs, she happily handed over the new battery with a smile.
‘’It won’t be but a few minutes,’’ she was informed.
Alas. It was not meant to be.
Storm clouds had been gathering, and they chose that moment to open the skies and pour upon the earth such rain as had not been seen in many a day! The lightning flashed!! The thunder roared!!
Frogs were surfing in the puddles of the car park!
While Mother Nature was amusing herself, other customers came and went, went and came, and still she sat….patiently waiting.
The Head Worker of Carriages, begged her indulgence, explaining that he was the only one who could work both the Desk of Greeting and the Bays of Autos. And so she waited, while the storm raged without and her tummy grumbled with hunger.
Two hours later….
The sodding thing was finally finished!!!
And it cost less than was expected!
Upon her return to her Happy Abode, the Dear Little Soul shed her sodden clothes and got blissfully stoned like the happy heathen she was!
May the Blessings of Ceiling Cat and Single Malt be with yuz all. srsly an’ Amen!
What’s on your mind this morning?