There are very, very few stories out of the Trump White House that bring cause for joy, but nuke-’em-all John Bolton being fired by nuke-the-hurricanes Donald Trump is a real smile-generator. And those smiles keep getting wider as Trump and Bolton have decided that the best target for nukes is each other.
It started with Trump saying, “I informed John Bolton last night that his services are no longer needed ...” followed by a thank you for your service, don’t let the screen door hitcha where the good lord splitcha, etc.
Bolton then responded with a tweet saying that he “offered to resign last night, and President Trump said ‘Let’s talk about it tomorrow.’” And maybe the best part about Bolton completely contradicting Trump’s statement was that he did it while still using his official White House phone.
Then, since you absolutely knew the master of the Sharpie was not about to let this go, Trump sent forth White House press secretary You Don’t Remember Her Name (okay, Stephanie Grisham) to let it be known that “Last night, POTUS said he wanted Bolton’s resignation on his desk tomorrow AM.”
And then, as unstoppable farce met immovable bonehead, Bolton replied that Grisham was “flatly incorrect.” Instead Bolton claimed again that he had offered to resign, but that Trump “never asked for me to resign directly or indirectly. I slept on it and resigned this morning." In other words, you can’t fire me, I quit.
Okay, sure, the fact that national security is at stake could take some of the fun out of this. But then, Donald Trump and John Bolton being distracted into lobbing bombs only at each other could be the best thing that’s happened to national security in two years. After all, they could be aiming them at everyone else.
Oh, and start your timers. It’s only a matter of hours, tops, before Trump blames Bolton for every facet of the screwup with the Taliban and Camp David. Also, that hurricane thing? Totally Bolton’s idea.