We Can Defend Joe Biden Without Attacking Sexual Assault Survivors

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Thursday May 07, 2020 · 8:54 AM PDT

2020/05/07 · 08:54

For weeks, the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden have littered my social media feeds. Every activist group I’m in has been torn apart over these allegations. I’ve grown increasingly despondent as I listen to Democrats trot out the same rape myths Republicans used against Christine Blasey Ford, Anita Hill, and every one of Donald Trump’s accusers. We don’t have to do this. We can support Joe Biden without attacking Tara Reade. We can support him without leaning on Republican talking points. We can even support him if we think he might be guilty. Indeed, those of us who care about the future of humanity have a moral duty to do just that.

No One Can Know the Truth About Sexual Assault

For weeks, people on either side of the issue have asserted their opinion with absolute confidence. The problem with sexual violence—indeed, one of the things that allows it to so aggressively persist—is that no outsider can ever know the truth.

Sexual assault, whether in the form of rape or a grope, never leaves behind certain evidence. Even when there’s DNA, the accused can assert that the act was voluntary. When there are injuries, the accused will say they were engaged in BDSM. Even in the rare instance where there is video, some people still leap to blame the accuser. Even when there are eyewitnesses, they often fail to intervene.

This inability to know for sure (coupled with the pretense that even when we do know for sure, we can’t believe what’s before our eyes) causes us to look for other signs of innocence or guilt. But our commonsense views on rape are rooted in myth and misogyny. If someone delays reporting, doesn’t report, or can’t remember the date on which an assault happened, these are not signs that they are lying. Indeed, the actual science on sexual assault tells us that delayed reporting and memory problems are so common they might as well be considered signs that the assault happened. A hallmark of rape trauma syndrome is initially acting as if everything is fine, including by continuing a relationship with the abuser.

We are, of course and as we always do, using these sexual assault myths to defend Joe Biden. This happened Even though these myths are not real evidence and get us no closer to the truth.

Ultimately, none of us can know the truth. Those who assert otherwise are relying on emotion and political bias. Not evidence. These discussions about the guilt or innocence of Joe Biden get us no closer to the truth. Instead, they harm assault victims and distract us from the much larger threat to women, people of color, and all of the rest of us: Donald Trump.

The Real Harms of Debating Sexual Violence

One in five women will be raped at some point during their lives. One in three will be sexually assaulted. Almost all will experience some form of sexual harassment. These crimes remain uninvestigated, unreported, and mostly unbelieved. Most studies find a false rape report rate of about 5%--similar to that of other crimes. However, these studies largely rely on police definitions of false reports, which often lean on the same rape myths the public uses. Because many of these “false” reports are merely unsubstantiated, the actual false report rate is likely much lower, especially when we take into account data showing that 95 percent of victims never report their assaults.

All of this reduces to a simple truth: if you disbelieve a victim, you are almost certainly wrong. If you have disbelieved more than one victim, the odds that you ignored the true report of a real victim are unbelievably high.

Sexual assault survivors know what happens when they come forward. They see it on the news and in their own lives. We ask what they did to cause it. We say they’re lying, they’re crazy, and he’s such a good man. There is no benefit to coming forward. No prize for being raped. Christine Blasey Ford had to go into hiding. Anita Hill was called “nutty” and “slutty.” Most of Bill Cosby’s accusers were similarly dismissed. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a person comes forward not because they want something. They come forward knowing they will abused, threatened, and disbelieved. They do it knowing we still think the word of one man counts more than the word of one (or more women). And still, they hope to perform a public service.

I don’t know if this applies to Tara Reade. I do not know if she is yet another victim facing the secondary trauma of a public attack. I, like you, cannot know the truth of what happened between her and Joe Biden.

Here’s what I do know: my daughter is watching and listening. So are yours. There is a very high chance our daughters will face some sort of sexual violence. You know how they’ll decide whether or not to tell us? By looking at our past behavior, by assessing how we have previously talked about accusers.

Here’s what else I know: The many sexual violence survivors in my life are also listening. They have already suffered immense trauma. I owe it to them not to re-trigger that trauma by endlessly engaging in victim-blaming that serves no purpose.

You won’t help Joe Biden by attacking Tara Reade. These debates never change anyone’s minds. But you will hurt sexual abuse victims. And you may play a role in raising another generation of daughters who cannot tell their mothers about their abuse.

The Cost of Not Voting Biden

We have a president who is willing to let untold numbers of Americans die because he doesn’t believe in science. He has locked children in cages, used the Department of Justice to increase rather than fight oppression, destroyed our relationships with other nations, attempted to gut healthcare, and doggedly worked to build a Supreme Court that would destroy a woman’s right to birth control, to abortion, to control her own body.

If he wins the election, this might be the last election we have. Imagine what six or seven Republican-appointed justices could do to voting rights. Consider the rubber stamp they will put on all of Trump’s actions. Abortion clinics will close, and as they die, so too will the right not to give birth to (or die for) your rapist’s baby. People will die for lack of health care. If COVID-19 lasts long enough and the federal response remains impotent, people will die of starvation, of exposure, of suicide.

We must vote for anyone who can reduce this suffering. The lives we will lose to Donald Trump matter. A refusal to vote for the only person who has a chance at beating him is an assertion that they don’t. Staying home will not teach the Democratic party a lesson. Voting third party will not bring about any revolution but a Trump-let fascist one.

We should all be upset that we have a candidate who has a sexual assault allegation—and not because the allegation exists, but because Biden has a clear history of ignoring physical boundaries. It’s not acceptable that this is the best we can do. It’s outrageous that when we had a pool of highly qualified women and people of color, we ended up with the white dude.

But this is what we have. There will be no perfect candidate this time. Biden has many redeeming qualities, however. Even if we believe Reade’s allegation, sexual assault cannot decide this election. We have an admitted sexual predator in the White House. Trump’s dozens of allegations outweigh Biden’s.

How We Defend Joe Biden

Joe Biden’s own response to Reade’s allegations has, so far, been excellent. He has not attacked her or leaned on rape myths. Those of us who wish to defend him must follow his lead. Stop dismissing the concerns of assault survivors. Stop attacking Tara Reade. This is deflection that harms survivors.

Instead, highlight the real costs of voting for Trump. Then emphasize that, even if Biden is guilty, he will not nominate Supreme Court justices who think women should have no right to birth control, who think immigrant children should die alone in detention, who believe there is no real right for Black Americans to vote.

Paradoxically, voting for someone with his own sexual assault allegation will produce a better world for assault survivors. Biden has already said he will reverse Betsy Devos’s rule making it even harder for student rape victims to come forward. He will use his Justice Department to enforce equal protection for women and all minorities, including those who have been sexually abused. Trump will do his best to make our country an even stronger rape culture than it is.

Sexual assault survivors deserve a better world than the one they have. They deserve a better world than one in which we must choose between two accused sexual predators. The only way we can make that world a reality is to vote for Biden.

I think Tara Reade is telling the truth. I’m still voting for Joe Biden. You should, too.

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