On Wednesday afternoon, networks began calling Michigan for Joe Biden. This followed the Wisconsin call earlier in the day. When Fox News joined in a few hours after the rest, the call they’ve already made on Arizona means they’re showing Biden with 264 electoral votes. As soon as Nevada unloads some additional votes, Fox might actually be the first to call it for President-Elect Biden.
Donald Trump clearly could not have this. So he decided to simply preempt the whole vote counting thing and just start … claiming states. “We have claimed, for Electoral Vote purposes, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, “ tweeted Trump. And Georgia. And North Carolina. And … “Additionally, we hereby claim the State of Michigan.” Because that’s how the system works, sugarbear. First claimed, first served. No takesy backsy. Oh, also note the royal “we.”
It’s unclear exactly WTF Trump thinks he’s actually doing here. You can’t just “claim” states, no matter how simple that might make this game. However, Trump appears to be channeling Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés. Which is fitting, since they both like gold.
Trump has not actually sallied forth to plant little Team Trump flags on the states he’s claimed. Yet. Though he does seem to think using the word “hereby” a lot, and fully spelling out “the State of ...” makes this very official.
Oh, and to make it extra fun, Trump’s reason for claiming the State of Michigan, despite clearly losing the State of Michigan, is that he said there are “a large number of secretly dumped ballots” which have been “widely reported.” Except, of course, there are no such ballots. And no such reports. For these statements, Trump has earned himself a whole flurry of Twitter warnings that stop just short of including the international symbol for biohazard.
Stay tuned, as Donald Trump channels other historic figures that got to just capture territory without that troublesome democracy.