It’s two steps from my bedroom door to the bathroom. I put on my mask, sanitize my hands, take a deep breath and hold it. I take the two steps to the bathroom door. When I’m inside I turn on the fan and exhale. I haven’t been able to breath easily in my home since school started in September, and I went back to teaching in person. Since I tested positive for the coronavirus on December 1, though, it’s been my worst fear come true—I brought the virus home.
My partner is high risk, so we have been extremely careful. We are also extremely fortunate. He has been able to work from home since mid-March. Our governor, here in Ohio, shut down schools at that time, too. Our son came home from college. For two and a half months we sheltered in place together, only going out to the small, local grocery store. We have been about to budget our risk. When our son was able to go ahead with an internship for the summer with the local cable access station, we stopped going to the grocery store and started using a local, volunteer delivery service. We haven’t been inside a grocery store since. We were wore masks as soon as health officials recommended it. Our rural village, near Dayton, was the first local jurisdiction in Ohio to implement mask legislation. When I went back to teaching this fall, we moved to separate parts of the house, masking when we were in common areas, and keeping distance from each other (and yes, we cheated from time to time, as safely as we could).
I teach in a small, local, independent (private), democratic school. This is our hundredth year. Like many other non-profits and tuition-based educational institutions, we run on very tight margins. Children come to our school for an individualized academic experience combined with an experiential, nature-based, problem solving community experience. It doesn’t translate well to an online format, but we did it this past spring. Over the summer, we, like so many teachers, worked and planned as best we could for what was to come. Unlike many teachers, because of the unique governance system at our school, we have a great deal of freedom and responsibility in creating and having decision-making power over the plans. Our families wanted an in person experience, and given the conditions at the time, we made a plan that we felt could provide with as much safety as possible.
For three months we were able to hold in person school. (We are currently not in person due to the level of viral spread in our community). Our groups aged Kindergarten and up moved entirely to outside classrooms, except for individual trips to the bathrooms. Our youngest group head quartered inside still, but with only half the usual amount of students. Everyone wore masks, and the children washed their hands with thoroughness I have never before seen. I can’t say yet that if I had to do it over again I wouldn’t do it exactly the same. It was equal parts amazing and terrifying every day (my school blog and photos). I hope, in the end, it will have been worth it.
So far I am the only one from school with a positive test. So far my partner has no symptoms and will soon be tested. So far my case is mild. And due to our pro-active decisions at school—we extended our Thanksgiving break and required testing of everyone—my case was caught before I had symptoms. Otherwise, I would have been unknowingly at school, when I was most contagious.
I’m writing this to say that when people say they caught it even though they always took precautions and they don’t know where—believe them and continue to take all the precautions you can. I’m writing this to say that I’m privileged to have kept a paying job so far and that I’m privileged in many other ways, including by birth to be white, cis-gendered, heterosexual and raised by my middle class, biological family. I’m not special, and like so many other people who get this virus, I have the risk of having long term complications. Like so many other people I am under-insured, which should not be a thing in this country, but looms bigger than ever for so many of us. I’m writing this to say--stay as safe as you possibly can, and let’s lift up those who are most at risk physically and economically in this crisis, so that we all have a chance.
Update: Thanks everyone for the kind words and support! My partner tested negative and is past the 14 day quarantine period. I am slowly getting better and am no longer in complete isolation—taking it slowly until all my symptoms are gone, just in case. Ivy got to sleep in the bedroom with me again last night, along with her beagle sister, so things are a little more right in the world today. Stay safe everyone!