Trying to pick the lowest point of Rudy Guiliani’s election hearing in Michigan is a challenge.
The audience was mostly friendly Republican representatives, but you could easily tell that even they had enough of this nonsense.
The star witness, however, was a woman named Mellisa Carone.
Keep her in mind when Donald Trump and team say they have “sworn affidavits” about corrupt elections: They mean from people like Carone. She is also the reason you may have noticed “drunk woman” trending in recent days.
A brief taste:
Melissa Carone: That poll book, why don’t you look at how many registered voters are on there. How many registered voters are on there? Do you even know the answer to that? ZERO! ZERO! There’s ZERO! Guess how many? Wait! What about the turnout rate? 120%! HA!
…..
Rep. Johnson (R): We are not seeing the poll book off by 30 thousand votes.
Melissa Carone: What did you guys do, take it and do something crazy to it?
Rep. Johnson: I'm just saying the numbers are not off by 30 thousand votes.
Melissa Carone: I know what I saw! I know what I saw! And I signed something saying that if I'm wrong, I can go to prison. Did you?
Carone could not help interrupting Michigan leaders, so much that even Giuliani tried to shut her up. Her expressions were priceless: You can tell Carone thought she nailed it.
Gee, I can’t imagine why no one wants to hire her. Yes, it must be the Democrats at work.
This is the same woman, mind you, who set the internet on fire a few weeks ago after she appeared on Lou Dobbs Tonight and made a fool out of Fox News. Dobbs brought Carone on to explain that white vans were delivering ballots in the dead of night. Instead, she complained that they didn’t bring her food, and voiced suspicion about van cargo holds she didn’t actually see.
I do understand why Rudy thought the actress in the Borat sequel was real—he surrounds himself with cartoon characters. I don’t think his star witness was drunk, but I’m still not convinced I haven’t fallen into a Saturday Night Live sketch. Compare Cecily Strong’s character, the (Drunk) Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party, and tell me if you see the resemblance to Mellisa Carone.