Uncharacteristically, the self-christened “Grim Reaper” Mitch McConnell is urging his caucus to take swift action by approving the pandemic relief package sent over Tuesday by the House. Senators from both parties, McConnell declared, "are eager to act swiftly to help American workers, families and small businesses navigate this challenging time."
The House legislation resulted from intense, comprehensive negotiations between Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and passed by an overwhelming bi-partisan majority. Still, due to “certain unanswered questions,” TX Representative Louie Gohmert used parliamentary stall tactics to delay the popular bill’s final authorization.
Now (according to a statement by former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill on MSNBC) Rand Paul the Junior Senator from Kentucky is pulling a Gohmert in the Senate by demanding that the upper chamber take action on his American Forces Going Home After Noble Service Act (which declares victory and ends the conflict in Afghanistan) before the House aid package can be allowed a hearing.
So, basically, what Senator Paul is saying is that the “American workers, families and small businesses” described by his state-mate Moscow Mitch need to cool their jets and take their place in line. After all, what’s another day or two in the life of a laid-off paycheck-to-paycheck American? Surely, their needs couldn’t be any more urgent than ending an armed military intervention that has been needlessly wasting lives and squandering treasure for 18 years.
Speaking on behalf of hard-up restauranteurs, bussers, servers, cooks, and housekeepers across this plagued nation, I would like to offer my most sincere gratitude to Dr. Paul. Way to go, Senator! You fucking ROCK!
Rand Bishop (Gimpy Ol’ Norman) is the author of the memoir, TREK: My Peace Pilgrimage in Search of a Kinder America. Part One of Bishop’s new serialized satirical e-book novella Option (D): Dosing Donald is now available in Kindle edition.