Our presumptive nominee. You know who. Just Biden time. While orange-face tweets.
Tweet away, combover! Tweet yourself away. Your sorry self. Into absolute Oblivion.
Whatever baggage, if any, Joe might have—and I’m not going to touch that right now, just because, and because it’s inconsequential—if he has been paying any attention at all to the severe crisis at hand, I feel he’s got enough serviceable grey matter left in his noggin to understand that this Arena he’s entered (think: who wants to be a Millionaire, er, Billionaire, I mean, President) is not looking for a West-Texas type of centrist. Now I’m not from there, probably haven’t even so much as passed through there, but I heard through the grapevine that the only thing out there in the middle of the road in W-T is a dead armadillo.
Now, Joe has enough savvy, enough street cred to comprehend that situations of great urgency require rational responses of similar magnitude. I do not for a minute think that in his studies in gradeschool, middle school, or high school, he somehow failed to notice how the Great Depression was overcome, or how World War II was won, or how the brave folks of that generation, touted as the Greatest Generation, proved themselves and made us all proud. And, in those same studies, he cannot have missed or dismissed the Great Divide between what Hoover did or didn’t do, as compared to what FDR (Joe! Joe! Joe!: hint, hint, hint!), his successor, accomplished during those dire times which have such a clear parallel, in many ways, to these strange times that we currently find ourselves living (and hopefully loving) through.
So in those studies, and in his current revisiting of same, I would have to think, to pray, to hope—to assume, to believe, to know—that our Joe, he has a hankering for greatness. Not some kind of namby-pamby lukewarm middle of the road bullshit dead armadillo wannabe stab at would-be greatness, but some actual situational hitting step up to the damn plate slug it out of the park right now right stuff greatness! And none of that self-serving puffing-up of some kind of dead corpse that we’re smelling the rancid tweets of right now! That shit’s not even on the damn menu!
You gotta be a real human being, Joe. And I know you are, Joe. You gotta pull through for us, Joe.
Slug ALL those slugs right outta the pahk! (Image attribution: Dave Granlund)
Slug it outta the pahk! Slug all those slugs right outta the pahk! Slug ’em the hell outta heah!
You don’t even need any steroids. Or covfefe. Or hamberders. Or (fake) diet Coke. Just show up.
~
I know, that’s too much Preamble, not enough Constitution.
Too bad I don’t have a sense of humor.
There is a point to this.
I kept mentioning slug earlier, as a verb. But now, after its Metamorphosis, it came out as a noun.
I know more than Sir Very Stable Genus [sic]. You know I do.
A damn slug (n.), dead or alive, could do a better job, or is it conjob, than Sir Very Stable Genus [sic] could ever imagine. I think there may have been a slug named after Herr Drumpf at one point, until the slug recused, just had to recuse himself. And then Billy Barr did his DOJ snowjob on, pissed right over the corpse of, the DOJ and the American people.
This is what a MAGA hat actually looks like, once you tear off the “Made in China” tag.
But this isn’t about those bugs, slugs, thugs. I’m just now (that was yesterday evening, 6-ish, actually) watching the beginning of You Nazty Spy! Totally germane to these times and all these latter-day thugs.
And followed by I’ll Never Heil Again! Classics! This is serendipity in action. Couldn’t have planned it better myself.
Okay, then, so I did get a wee bit, you wascally wabbit, distwacted by the twuest wecounts of what wife was wike when dey, dat feawwess twiumviwate, wuled ouw showes, and aww of us were funny as a bone.
Three Stooges meets Kafka: how do you square that circle? But hold on—is there any difference?
Absurd to think so. Absurd to think anything.
The reason I got distracted was that what I was viewing via broadcast TV was so totally topical to our current times. And because the brand of humor that these Stooges promulgated was just so over the top F-ing funny!
~
So back to Joe.
This is not an original thought—is there anyone who has one?—but… Never mind. Senior moment. Okay boomer.
~
What Joe really needs to do, for the sake of his presumptive legacy-to-be, and for the American people, and for all the other denizens, human or not, of this complicated convoluted Earth realm, is to (1) choose a running mate who is not a centrist (similar to a deceased Dasypus in West Texas), and who is a true-blue progressive; (2) step up to that bases-loaded plate and hit his best splash!-Homer
His best splash!-Homer. Matt Groening, of course. You all knew that.
way outta th’ park, by championing policies that do whatever is required in these uncertain times; and (3) surround himself, once elected, when and if that happens, with the best advisors possible, preferably no one who is to any great degree tied to Wall Street.
I have been hearing recently that there has been some infield chatter, so to speak, between him, Joe, and Senator Warren. And it is my hope that, should Biden be the nominee, that he would pick either Elizabeth Warren or someone—a woman, as he promised—similarly qualified as to her progressive credentials. There is a short list. Not in any particular order. But including, among others: Elizabeth Warren (I know, she was already mentioned); Kamala Harris; Kirsten Gillibrand; Stacey Abrams; Val Demings. I know there are others. But you get the point. But not Amy Klobuchar. I respect and admire her intelligence, but not her political leanings.
Attribution: Know Your Meme.
Joe has to pick someone savvy to balance the ticket. And someone who can help convince him that any faux-centrist leanings are anathema to his base and to what the American people, as reflected in numerous polls, really want to happen in this country. Actually drain that damn swamp! Halt that march, that death march toward ever greater inequality, halt that damn death march before it squelches and nullifies everything that we stand for!
Richness is not in money, but in honor and joy and humility and humanity.Culture.
I’ve been bloviating for long enough. But let’s leave it at this: Joe needs to do the right thing.
If Joe Biden finds his progressive mojo, if he sees what is at stake, he will do the right thing.
Let’s face it: the last two Repugnicans who somehow ascended to the Presidency (Cheney, followed far too soon by the *-grabber-in-chief) were and are two of the most far right extremists ever “elected” to that office in recent times, Reagan being a not-too-distant third. (In my first exercise of the franchise, I voted for Carter. Proudly. Reagan was at best a shoe or used car salesman or something like that. The only thing that came out of his mouth, for the most part, was feel-good glossy-speak. I’m being reductionist, but it is what it is.)
So my final point is that middle of the road didn’t cut it in 2016. And not really even in 2012, 2008, 1996, 1992, if you look at what we got... (Much better than Cheney or what’s-his-name *-grabber, but disappointing to anyone not wishing to suck up to Wall Street big time all the time.)
How did the fat cat far right Mafia types get their guys in? And we can’t have the courage to nominate someone who truly will stick up for Main Street? We have to get a good look, carry a big stick, and hit the damn thing right out of the park! Do you think that that’s what Joe will do? Do the right thing?
He’d better do that.