When Park Service personnel learned that Donald Trump wanted to hold part of his self-appreciation rally at the 250-year-old Fort McHenry structure, the first thing they worried about was that there could be damage to the historic site. And of course, they were right. Trump’s team came in with all the grace of a herd of coked-up elephants, banging up the structure more throughly than a British cannonball. All so, as it turned out, Mike Pence could solve the nation’s sleeping problems by delivering a speech powered by Sominex.
Throughout the evening, Republicans followed up on the theme that had been launched on previous nights—no need for masks or social distancing, because that pandemic thing is over. But even the thin rounds of applause from the tiny crowd on hand couldn’t cover up the fact that night three of the RNC was headlined by boredom. Organizers were forced again to make last-minute cuts to the speakers lists as it turned out that some of the racist, anti-Semitic, or just plain angry roll call planned to say things that might have been too extreme for a national audience (not to worry: they’ll be back for the next Trump rally). Even the Goya beans guy got cut … though likely because either his speech failed to reach the “Must praise Trump this much to enter this ride” line, or because Republicans decided they had exceeded their limit of “ethnics.”
The result may have been a night that made watching empty basketball courts seem more appealing. However, the final night promises to deliver the dripping red meat and flailing claws to Trump-followers dreams.
The brick paths and walls of Fort McHenry really were damaged by the cranes and lightning equipment hastily assembled to capture Pence’s speech. And, of course, Trump paid a visit because if there’s a camera on anywhere he feels pain until it is pointed his way. But truthfully, they needn’t of bothered. Trashing the Hatch Act to shoot the convention at the White House was already bad enough. Adding in a structure whose importance had to be explained to the audience did not make things any more impressive.
The purpose of Mike Pence’s speech seemed to be nothing but demonstrating that there was not an atom of division between the Indiana milquetoast and his dear leader. “Sidekick” was a label that Pence seemed all too happy to wear. Mother Karen Pence also spoke, delivering a speech that was notable only because she didn’t end in a bug-eyed, frothing appeal to an empty room as … others have done. If you went into the night thinking that the Pences exist only as props for Trump, your worldview was never endangered.
Otherwise Director of National Intelligence Ric Grenell followed in Mike Pompeo’s clownish footsteps by providing an inappropriate speech from a staffer. Only Grenell’s 15 minutes seemed like an hour. And South Dakota governor Kristi Noem delivered a speech with the enthusiasm of a firework. That failed to light. At least Marsha Blackburn was on hand to declare that in Communist China, they keep everyone locked up in their houses.
The most notable event of the night might be what didn’t happen. On an evening when NBA players refused to play out of protest over the shooting of Jacob Blake, racism and police violence appeared to be mentioned exactly zero times. The closest that anyone came was Pence name-dropping Kenosha in a list of cities that had experienced “violence,” without giving any hint that a white supremacist had driven to that town, AR-15 in hand, for the express purpose of murdering protesters. He certainly didn’t mention that the murderer had been front row center at a Trump rally.
Overall, the evening was astoundingly blah, lacking in either content or theatrics. Other than constantly painting the COVID-19 crisis as something that Trump beat and is no longer a concern, there appeared to be no through line for the evening at all. Television ratings are yet to appear, but it’s hard to believe they rise much above that of the Static Between Channels Channel.
But … cheer up. Thursday evening should be very different. Not only will Donald Trump be there to accept his nomination before a non-mask wearing crowd of 1,500—larger than the gatherings that greeted Trump during his attempts to upstage Joe Biden last week—there will be a very special guest. Over the objections of White House staff, Rudy Giuliani has a primetime speaking slot. Also, there’s Franklin Graham! And Mitch McConnell! And Kevin McCarthy! And Tom Cotton! Ivanka will even be there, for her father’s viewing pleasure.
So if Wednesday night was missing the scenery-chewing histrionics and pure radiant hate that you’ve come to know and loathe from everything Trump, expect Thursday to more than make up for it. But don’t expect any discussion about race. Except for the kind where Donald Trump promises to keep the suburbs pure.
