On this date in both 2017, 2018, 2019, as well as 2020, “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day” published profiles of the man who looks like the answer to the question, “What if Beavis and Butt-Head were the same person?”, the U.S. House Representative from Florida’s 1st Congressional District Matt Gaetz. Gaetz schlepped his way onto the political scene back in the Tea Party Wave in 2010 (in spite of the fact that he was arrested for DUI only two years prior), where he was elected to three terms in the Florida state legislature through the benefit of not facing a primary challenger or general election opponent, EVER. He was, of course, following in the footsteps of his daddy, in the sort of political nepotism that seems to be the norm in the GOP far too often. And with his daddy’s help and a lot of campaign financing, Gaetz won a crowded GOP primary in a conservative-leaning district in 2016 over six other challengers, and coasted to victory over Democrat Steven Specht in the general election.
Gaetz’s own campaign site touted his fanatical defense of the 2nd Amendment, including fighting to maintain Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” Laws (even after the death of Trayvon Martin), his deranged obsession with abortion that sees him try to force women to undergo medically unnecessary ultrasounds before getting one and his desire to defund Planned Parenthood, his pride in supporting legislation that makes life harder for all illegal immigrants. His voting record backs all that up, and more, as it includes opposition to same-sex marriage, support for stricter Voter ID laws to combat the statistically non-existent problem of in-person voter fraud at the cost of disenfranchising tens of thousands of voters, and drug testing welfare recipients, which has been a failed conservative policy every time it’s implemented until judges throw the law off the books for being unconstitutional. From the point he announced his campaign, Gaetz was hyping Donald Trump as president, and ranting about immigrants and Muslim terrorists, which is the sort of rhetoric that plays in a district in the Florida panhandle that borders Alabama, sadly.
Well, setting all of his xenophobia and conservative extremism aside, we actually took notice of Matt Gaetz because of what we can only summarize as a “total dick move” that he pulled on the morning of September 25th, 2016. The sports world was shocked and saddened to learn of the tragic death of young Miami Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez at that time… and for whatever reason, Matt Gaetz decided to politicize it for all that it was worth like an opportunistic douchebag, and turn it into a criticism of those who were kneeling during the national anthem to protest police violence.
”To all who will kneel during the anthem today - just remember how Jose Fernandez risked his life just for the chance to stand for it.”
The criticism for exploiting a tragedy for political gain was fast, and sharp, but not enough to overcome the sheer amount of money Gaetz dumped into his Congressional run and the partisan lean of the district.
CSGOPOTD was not wrong to train our eyes on this little weasel. On February 16th, 2017, he introduced modest legislation to… oh… y’know, just abolish the entire Environmental Protection Agency. Gaetz didn’t even flinch about what a disgrace this attempt was, planning to attend all his town halls, albeit his idea to curtail dissent at them? Have militia groups loyal to him show up to provide a sense of “security”.
If you were wondering how “in deep” with the hard right Matt Gaetz has become, look no further than House Resolution 477, a bill that Matt Gaetz sponsored that was written by one of his top aides, who went on Reddit to ask a sub-forum dedicated to Donald Trump and white nationalism, that often has open discussions of Neo-Nazi ideals, Islamophobia and white supremacy. THAT is where the Congressman’s ideas are coming from, and surprise, the bill itself was written to investigate former FBI Director James Comey and… yup, Hilary Clinton.
And, when it comes to legislation he doesn’t write, Gaetz frequently is opposed to any sort of governance, voting against Disaster Relief for Hurricane Harvey (even though his Florida district itself is almost certainly going to need hurricane relief at some point), and in December of 2017, Rep. Gaetz became the sole member of Congress to vote against an anti-human trafficking bill, because he’s apparently okay with the practice of slavery and sex slavery.
It’s curious to see that as his first year in office was coming to a close, Matt Gaetz has been desperately flailing about trying to protect Donald Trump from Special Counsel Robert Mueller at every opportunity. Whether it’s going on Fox News to say, “If Bob Mueller were any more biased, we’d have to give him credentials for the mainstream media,” or meeting with Trump and then telling the media that the Mueller investigation is “infected with bias” (remember, Mueller is a life-long Republican), Gaetz seems determined to handcuff himself to Trump to his own peril. This included his January of 2018 attacks upon FBI agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, and when there were texts between the two not being immediately made public, Gaetz claimed it was “the biggest coincidence since the immaculate conception”. When asked on CNN to explain what the hell that actually means, Gaetz was unable to explain how the situation applied to the origin story of Jesus Christ, because of course he couldn’t, he’s a moron.
Gaetz hasn’t dialed back his racist diatribes since we began keeping an eye on him, claiming that Haiti is “disgusting” with “everywhere you look in Haiti, it’s sheet metal and garbage” in an interview with Chris Hayes on MSNBC. He invited Chuck Johnson, an alt-right conspiracy theorist and Holocaust Denier to Donald Trump’s first State of the Union address, and Gaetz himself has gotten in the habit of spreading conspiracy theories, himself. In October of 2018, Gaetz was claiming that women and children in Honduras were being paid by George Soros to join a caravan of migrants leaving that country for the United States. Which, was exactly the sort of rhetoric which enraged MAGA-Bomber Cesar Sayoc and Neo-Nazi synagogue shooter Robert Bowers within days of him aiding the spread of that conspiracy theory. Only a few weeks later, only the day after the 2018 election, Gaetz was leading the 2018 equivalent of the Brooks Brothers riot outside of the Broward County Board of Elections, spreading conspiracy theories about Democrats attempting to steal the election from Republican candidates.
Here are just some of the ways Matt Gaetz has been the highest level of s***lord imaginable from the past few years:
- May 2nd, 2018: Matt Gaetz is one of 18 Republicans who sign on to a letter asking to nominate Donald Trump for a Nobel Prize for meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.
- January 22nd, 2019: Gaetz votes against HR 676, which would prevent Donald Trump from doing the unthinkable and walking away from our allies in NATO to appease the Russians.
- January 23rd, 2019: Rep. Gaetz voted against HR 648, because he was gleefully enjoying the longest government shutdown in history.
- January 27th, 2019: Matt Gaetz can’t be arsed to vote against HJR 30, which was meant to express disapproval of Donald Trump not acting against Russian Federation for attack Gaetz our democracy.
- February 26th, 2019: Rep. Gaetz decides to get on Twitter and threaten Michael Cohen a day before he is set to testify before Congress regarding Donald Trump’s corruption including his scheme to commit campaign finance fraud by paying off women he had affairs with before their stories could be published in the tabloids. On Twitter, Gaetz wrote, “Hey @MichaelCohen212 — Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful when you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot.”
- May 17th, 2019: Gaetz votes against The Equality Act, which would have prevented discrimination towards Americans based on their gender identity or sexual orientation. He justified his vote by saying it would only allow Donald Trump to declare himself “the first female president” and liberals wouldn’t like that. No, really.
- October 23rd, 2019: Rep. Gaetz leads 41 Republicans who, while staring down the possibility of Donald Trump being impeached, stage a ridiculous publicity stunt in response by crashing a classified impeachment inquiry hearing for a “protest”. After a few hours of them occupying an empty room and ordering and eating pizza, they abandon their delusions and wander out.
- December 3rd, 2019: Matt Gaetz is one of 71 Republicans who vote against House Resolution 546, which stated disapproval of any attempt to readmit the Russian federation back into the G7 and make it the G8.
- December 3rd, 2019: Rep. Gaetz is quoted as saying that the president that really deserves impeaching is Barack Obama, who has been out of office for almost three full years, because of supposed “wiretapping” he did. The intelligence community already had to confirm Obama never did such a thing (when Trump accused him of “wire tapps” on Twitter).
- December 3rd, 2019: Rep. Gaetz makes a vague threat against Georgia Governor and fellow Republican Matt Kemp because he might not pick the Trump administration’s favored candidate for Senate to replace Sen. Johnny Isakson until a special election can be conducted.December 12th, 2019: After spending weeks trying to spread Russian propaganda about Joe and Hunter Biden, Gaetz begins attacking Hunter Biden about rumored substance abuse issues he might have, which led Democratic Congressman Hank Johnson to respond by reminding everyone that Matt Gaetz has been arrested for DUI, so maybe the pot is calling the kettle black.
- December 19th, 2019: Matt Gaetz votes against the impeachment of Donald Trump.
- January 13th, 2020: Rep. Gaetz decides to take a shot at a former Republican colleague from the Florida state legislature for daring to meet with the Reverend Al Sharpton, and said colleague, Chris Latvala responds in kind that as a member of the Florida state legislature, Gaetz started an inappropriate game that awarded state legislators “points” for having sex with interns, lobbyists, and other married legislators.
- February 5th, 2020: Matt Gaetz calls for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to be marked with an ethics complaint and for her to be charged with a crime for tearing up a copy of Donald Trump’s State of the Union Speech (it wasn’t a crime, obviously).
- March 4th, 2020: Matt Gaetz mocks mask guidelines being advised by health experts by turning up to vote on a Coronavirus stimulus bill while wearing a gas mask. Five days later, on March 9th, he announced he was going into self-quarantine after being exposed to the virus by a fellow guest at CPAC.
- May 15th, 2020: Gaetz votes against the HEROES Act, to further support the healthcare industry and citizens affected by the Covid-19 pandemic.
- June 14th, 2020: Rep. Gaetz decides to start a Twitter feud with actor Ron Perlman, and gets his ass handed to him in a battle of wits, because Gaetz doesn’t have any.
- June 18th, 2020: Only days removed from getting savaged on Twitter, Matt Gaetz decides to be a s***heel and respond to discussions of “Black Lives Matter” in the House and the death of George Floyd by going “All Lives Matter”. He was called out by Democratic Rep. Cedric Richmond for mocking the pain of African Americans, and that’s when Gaetz revealed his ace in the hole… he claimed he had a “non-white son”, a 19 year old Cuban “son” named Nestor who… was living in his Florida home, but there was no paperwork to indicate Gaetz ever adopted him. The next night, Gaetz dragged Nestor onto Tucker Carlson where he whined about “discrimination against whites”. So… just weird. And racist. Which if you included the word “drunk” would summarize Gaetz.
- July 21st, 2020: Gaetz teams up with Jim Jordan to start a public feud with fellow Republican Liz Cheney because in their mind, she does not support Donald Trump enough.
- July 22nd, 2020: Rep. Gaetz is caught in an ethics scandal because he illegally used taxpayer funds to pay a known (fellow) white nationalist to write his speeches for him. When the story is reported by Politico, Gaetz attacks the media outlet for reporting what he calls “a simple clerical error”.
- December 4th, 2020: Rep. Gaetz ignores edicts under effect in New Jersey to not hold large indoor gatherings, and turns up as the “headliner” of a meeting of the New York GOP in Jersey City to hold a “gala fundraiser” with a few hundred people. New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy reminds everyone Gaetz is the same ***hole who has mocked masks throughout the pandemic, including wearing a gas mask during a Congressional hearing.
- December 10th, 2020: Gaetz signs his name to an amicus brief to the Supreme Court, begging them to overturn the results of the 2020 election. The same election that he won re-election in.
- January 6th, 2021: Matt Gaetz not only cheerleads for fascist the Trump supporters who literally storm the U.S. Capitol Building, he not only votes against certifying the electoral college results showing he has no shame over what his rhetoric has wrought, but he gaslights the American people by taking to the floor of the House to give a speech where he asks everyone to disbelieve the entire day’s events and lies and claims the raid on the Capitol was actually carried out by Antifa.
We know that Florida’s 1st District has a +22 Republican lean, so we regret to inform Matt Gaetz held onto his seat in 2020, getting 65% of the vote. He is still currently making false claims and spreading conspiracy theories of supposed election fraud that cost Donald Trump the presidential election because he’s firmly wedged up Mango Mussolini’s ass. The only question is if the electorate is going to be fed up with Trump’s racism and criminality and move back towards GOP candidates in the 2022 mid-terms who are not, y’know, white nationalists. Because unless someone knocks off Gaetz in a primary, he could be around for a while to be nothing more than a bigoted troll in the House, rather than a functional legislator.
We’re going to have to continue our new tradition of ending profiles of seditious, traitorous Republicans who egged on a coup attempt by encouraging whoever wishes to try out new swear words and clever insults directed at them in the comments. Hopefully it will be cathartic towards the anger they deserve for violating their oath of office.
One Year Ago, January 10th, 2020: Matt Gaetz (FL)… 2020 Update
Two Years Ago, January 10th, 2019: Matt Gaetz (FL)… 2019 Update
Three Years Ago, January 10th, 2018: Matt Gaetz (FL)… 2018 Update
Four Years Ago, January 10th, 2017: Matt Gaetz (FL)… Original Profile
Five Years Ago, January 10th, 2016: Steve Katz (NY)
Six Years Ago, January 10th, 2015: Steve Southerland (FL)
