As this is Friday, I thought I would continue with my usual end of the week humor diary, in which we can all relax, chuckle and set of the weekend in a nice way.
I will start but please this series is not the same without your input and added jokes.
A young Jewish Mother walks her son to the school bus stop on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you so much, my ketsaleh!"
At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him.
"So what did my tataleh learn on his first day of school?"
The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
A guy is driving around Givatayim and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
"So, what's your story?" asks the man.
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young and I wanted to help out. So I told the Mossad about my gift, and in no time at all they had me working flat strap, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders and suspected terrorists, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable agents for eight years running. But it was exhausting work and really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a less stressful job at Ben Gurion airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a batch of medals. During that time I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired. And pretty much, that's it."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"50 Shekel “ the guy says.
"This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never worked for Mossad!"
George W. Bush was stranded at an airport while he was out on the campaign trail. In the lounge, he spotted an old man sitting all by himself, who looked awfully familiar. So George W. approached the old man and said "Excuse me, sir, but aren't you Moses?"
The old man looked at him, got up, and walked away. George W. thought that was rather odd, but decided he mustn't have been Moses, after all. A little while later, George W. saw the same man in the restroom, and couldn't overcome the feeling that he knew this man's name was Moses. "Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you again, but are you sure your name is not Moses?" But the old man just walked away. When the airline finally called the passengers to board the plane, George W. sees the man yet again, and decides to try one more time: "I'm so sorry to keep bothering you, but I can't tell you how much you look like my friend Moses: are you SURE you're not Moses?"
The old man heaved a sigh, and said, "Yes, my name is Moses, but the last time I spoke to a Bush, I was sent into the wilderness for 40 years. So please leave me alone!"
Ethel and Herman Epstein interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any freezing because I'm in a big hurry," Ethel said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
Ethel turned to her husband Herman and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."