Energize An Ally Tuesday
As you may have heard—it's been in all the papers—November 2 is an important date in Virginia, a commonwealth whose transition from red to blue has been a sight to behold. The marquee race is the governor’s tussle between Terry McAuliffe (who has already proved himself worthy of the position and absolutely deserves a second term) and his opponent whom he calls "Donald Trump in khakis."
There are also several down-ballot races that are crucial to maintaining Democratic control of the state, and Daily Kos is highlighting four progressives who can use our support as we approach the final day of voting next Tuesday. More on how you can help ruin the Republicans' day below the fold:
Continued...
In addition to McAuliffe and Lt. Governor candidate Hala Ayala, the Mighty Kos is supporting…
Debra Gardner (HD-27, Richmond suburbs), who is working to oust incumbent Del. Roxann Robinson, who has a history of extreme anti-abortion stances.
Finale Norton (HD-100, Eastern Shore) is poised to unseat entrenched GOP dinosaur Rob Bloxom. HD-100 is a coastal district, and Norton knows that combating climate change and attendant rising sea levels and flooding is a top priority.
Katie Sponsler (HD-66, Richmond suburbs) is running to flip this open Republican seat and prevent Del. Mike Cherry from helping gut reproductive rights.
Kim Melnyk (HD-84, Virginia Beach), a former teacher and small business owner, is campaigning to take down Del. Glenn Davis, another anti-choice Republican who’s voted to restrict abortion rights half a dozen times.
If you're willing and able, the link to make a donation is here at the dependable Act Blue. As always, you can customize where your dollars go. Many thanks for helping out. I think we can all agree: Virginia looks much better in blue. Let’s keep it that way.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 26, 2021
Note: The only way to stop a bad werewolf with a gun loaded with silver bullets is a good werewolf with a gun loaded with silver bullets. Or something like that. We’re a little preoccupied with lawsuits, bankruptcy, and infighting at the moment. The point is: buy guns and ammo quickly!
—A public service message from the ghouls at the NRA
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By the Numbers:
Weeks 'til Election Day 2021: 1
Days 'til the Astros and the Braves start the Major League Baseball World Series: 0
Percent of Americans polled by CNBC who do and do not, respectively, want the rich to pay more in taxes so we can finally afford some f*cking decent shit in this country: 57%, 38%
Certified results of California Gov. Gavin Newsom's election victory in 2018: 61.9% - 38.1%
Certified results of California Gov. Gavin Newsom's election victory in the 2021 recall election: 61.9% - 38.1%
Percent of America's annual pumpkin crop (564 million pounds last year) that’s grown in Illinois: 41%
Age of the iPod as of last weekend: 20
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Watch your ankles—In Barboursville, West Virginia, it's the Howl-O-Wiener Dog Races…
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CHEERS to the kind of mundane story that used to dominate the news and soothe our collective soul. I'm outraged! This is simply unacceptable! I demand hearings and new laws! What am I paying taxes for? Who's in charge here? I want answers:
Kellogg’s strawberry-flavored Pop-Tarts need more strawberries, according to a lawsuit filed against the company in August.
A class-action lawsuit, filed by Anita Harris in the Southern District of Illinois, argues that the Kellogg Sales Company is misleading consumers by promoting the breakfast pastry’s strawberry filling in its labels and marketing, giving an impression that the fruit filling contains "a greater relative and absolute amount of strawberries than it does.”
In reality, the company’s “Frosted Strawberry Toaster Pastries” contain 2% or less of “dried strawberries, dried pears, dried apples” and “red 40,” according to its nutrition label.
This is worse than Watergate. Fix this now, Biden. Or come 2024 you’ll be a part of this nutritious breakfast known as toast.
JEERS to the crap we now have to deal with instead of the Pop-Tarts-program-related-activities stories we all yearn for. There's a popular saying that success in anything—business, home maintenance projects, schoolwork, sex—depends on remembering the five Ps: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. And now we know why the January 6th insurrection never had a chance: these idiots were in charge of the first two P's…
A slate of Republican members of Congress is being outed by those who attended planning meetings for the protest that resulted in the attack on the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, according to a new report in Rolling Stone.
Two sources, according to their story, revealed that Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ), Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC), Rep. Andy Biggs (R-AZ), and Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) were all present on "dozens" of calls with organizers of the group. […]
"I remember Marjorie Taylor Greene specifically," the organizer told Rolling Stone. "I remember talking to probably close to a dozen other members at one point or another or their staffs."
It reminds me that there's another popular saying: "This is your brain on MAGA. Any questions?"
CHEERS to gauzy gams. On this date in 1939, nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in Wilmington, Delaware. First-day sales were brisk. To keep it fair, they imposed a strict "One pair per bank robber" limit.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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Today's washing machines are more energy-efficient, water-conserving and reliable. (But they make some weird sounds. Ours spends most of its time going "Snrrk… Snrrk… Snrrk…") But some things haven’t changed, like if you forget to check your pockets for anything that melts when exposed to hot water and massive centrifugal force before you push START, you're still screwed. (Damn you, candy corn—that was my favorite Lance Link: Secret Chimp tuxedo shirt.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: October 26, 2011
JEERS to mixed up priorities. I understand local news is important, but The Portland Press Herald really whiffed in Saturday's edition. A day after the president announced that our troops will be gone from Iraq by Christmas, ending the stupidest of stupid fucking wars, the top headline in the paper was: "Firefighter captain suspended for [minor] fireboat accident." Below it: "Obama: U.S. forces in Iraq will come home by year's end." I did some archival research and found a pattern:
1865: Hoop Skirt Mishap Embarrasses Haberdasher
Lincoln: War Between the States Over
1918: Bedlam as Flat Tire Strands Model T On Trolley Tracks
Wilson: War to End All Wars Concluded
1945: Police Fine Dime Novel Distributor For Indecency
Truman: VJ Day Signals End of War in Pacific
Peace—what is it good for? Apparently not selling papers.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a woman who had to debate Republicans with 90 percent of her brain switched off just to make it a fair fight. Happy 74th birthday (and many blessings on your camels) to Hillary Rodham Clinton, the only human in world history who can boast of having First Lady, United States Senator, Secretary of State, and first female major-party presidential nominee on her resume. She should have “45th president” on it, too, having clocked Trump in every debate, secured every major newspaper endorsement, run on positions far more popular than Trump’s, possessed more brainpower by a factor of a gazillion, and handily won the popular vote. (Thanks a lot, Comey. And Russia. And Wikileaks. And Jill Stein. And you, too, f*cking media.) Some pearls from the walking fountain of wisdom:
"Climate change is real. It is here. It has to be dealt with. If I hear another politician or public official say they don’t know what to say because they’re not a scientist, I’m just going to yell, ‘Go talk to a scientist!’"
"We can’t hide from any of these hard truths about race and justice in America. We have to name them and own them and then change them."
"To LGBT men and women worldwide, let me say this: wherever you live and whatever the circumstances of your life, whether you are connected to a network of support or feel isolated and vulnerable, please know that you are not alone."
"The difference between a politician and a statesman is that a politician thinks about the next election while the statesman thinks about the next generation."
"Donald Trump's ideas aren't just different. They are dangerously incoherent. They're not even really ideas, just a series of bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies. A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons."
"If there is one message that echoes forth from this conference, let it be that human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights, once and for all."
“Americans are sick of the Trump reality show. Let’s cancel it for good, shall we?”
"You cannot have maternal health without reproductive health. And reproductive health includes contraception and family planning and access to legal, safe abortion."
This year I got her a new sweatshirt that says "3,000,000 More Than Doofus" on the back. (I hope it's not too subtle.)
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Dating in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool: It's not simple, but it's definitely possible. Figuring out when to go in for that first kiss is always a bit awkward.”
—Surgeon General Vivek Murthy
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