My dear Kuroneko;;
You came into the world under a cactus on the property of a dear friend of mine on April 13, 2007, with your two siblings. Your momma cat was feral who was somewhat socialized despite that and your dad was a Tom with more attitude than tail that belonged to my friend who was named after a fictional robot. You had a sister and a brother. Your sister still lives with my friend but sadly your brother didn’t make it into adulthood.
You came into my life a couple of months later when my friend decided it was time for you to have a new home and as I had expressed an interest in you, I was selected. I brought you home to my new apartment, still unfurnished at the time and you spent a couple of days looking for a way out. But you soon settled in and after one night in the closet, you spent the next one under the camp cot I was using for a bed. The next day, I was shocked when you jumped up on my lap and settled onto my leg into a comfortable position. I named you “Kuroneko” which simply means “black cat” in the Japanese language. I didn’t learn until years later that there was an anime character by the same name.
So we settled in together and started living and got as close as two individuals from different species can get. I came to find that you enjoy affection but it has to be on your terms. You like playing the blanket game and pouncing on my fingers when they slowly emerge from the edge of the covering and you play to win! You’re a short haired cat so you’re really a hairball factory, especially in the Spring when you lose your winter coat. And oh! What a coat! Sleek, glossy and always fastidiously kempt, unlike your sister who prefers a more native look. You’ve always been tiny so I’ve taken to calling you “Bitten” which is short for “Little Bitten Kitten”. You’re an indoor cat because I couldn’t let you outside as skittish as you are around other people. Only Joe can come into our apartment without you dashing for cover. But that’s been just fine with us. You’ve even managed to snag a couple of birds that came onto the balcony to taunt you, clever thing.
Like all friendships, ours has had its ups and downs but you always know when I’m down or lonely or just feeling a little blue and you’re there for me. I’ve tried to be a good friend to you in return. I bought you a water fountain when you didn’t like the stagnant water in a dish. I bought you a kitty tree to climb on and to threaten me when I dared to walk by too closely. We both mourned when my old CRT monitor died and you couldn’t sit on top of the new, flat version while I spent hours griping about politics and so forth on the intertubes. I’ve been there when you were ill and when you felt a little down yourself. Though you hate riding in cars, I’ve taken you on some adventures from time to time but mostly you just like being here with me.
You were fine Monday when I left for work. I went to work that day despite having a bout with diverticulitis, (old people colon) and so I stopped by and bought a bottle of pro biotics on the way home. I opened the door that afternoon and you were waiting for me but you looked off. You didn’t even look up at me but instead you were staring at my ankle height and a bit to the left. Your whiskers were droopy. I noticed that right away. I looked at your breakfast bowl and it had been cleaned by my hungry kitty so I wasn’t especially worried. While I was there you hopped up to the fountain and drank a large amount of water so I was eased again somewhat. It was unusual when you didn’t come to your favorite place to be right after I come home, on my shoulder at the desk.
While very unusual, sometimes you have off days too. I thought that it was even odder when you weren’t acting like you hadn’t been fed since the Cretaceous Period when I was fixing a lite supper that night but I filled your bowl and hoped you would have some.
Then came the yeowling like a Banshee when you were in your litter box! Wow, you sounded like you were pissing sandpaper, poor kitty. Though not at all yourself energy wise, you got up into our bed with me. We both had a rough night. I had eaten a handful of the probiotics but was still tied up in knots and so when I woke up, I decided to call in as we were both under the weather. I got up and fed you, same as usual while not having any food myself.
Throughout the day, I started feeling better. Less crampy and began to hear movement in my gut again. Sadly, while I was coming up, you were going down. You didn’t eat anything, including the chicken broth that I had used to help you over the hump after your spaying surgery and I only saw you drink once. You also used the litterbox only once all day and there was yeowling again.
Today I woke up feeling almost myself again and though you had made it into our bed once more that night, you looked like you were down for the count. So I called in to work to tell them I would be late, dusted off your long unused cat carrier and off we went to the Veterinary hospital. I described your symptoms to the nice lady that opened the door for us at 7:00am and left a deposit of $504. I made it to work only about an hour late and worked the few jobs that I had during this pre Thanksgiving slow period and talked with the Vet a couple of times during the day. After x-rays, bloodwork and a urinalysis it was determined that you’re severely obstructed. We’ve always had problems getting you to drink enough and at 14, your body can no longer pass the enormous amounts of hair you generate and then ingest. I had to leave work a little early, drop another $523 bucks at the Vet’s office to get your treatment going. I tried to see you but I was unable to because you were hooked up to the IV fluids.
The Vet just now called and told me that you had eaten a little but were still listless. He asked if you had always been that small and I told him you had. Then he asked me if this had come on suddenly and I confirmed that as well. I went through the whole story again with him as I had with the technician earlier. He was guarded and said that they would re-evaluate in the morning but that your urinalysis had looked good and that your test for Intestinal lymphoma had been negative. He was concerned because he didn’t know if the images on the x-ray were calcified hairballs or tumors. He is very guarded but said that you could bounce back and only time will tell. He said your condition had been “very acute”.
It’s now 6:06 and that place closes at 6:00pm so you’re all alone in a clinic with other animals with weird smells and making weird noises and I’m all alone in my apartment, desperately writing a blog post to keep panic at bay.. I know I’m going to outlive you, I’ve always known that. Broken hearts are the inevitable trade off all animal lovers risk when we are invited into your lives. I know I’m going to lose you someday but I hope, hope, hope it’s not today. I hope you’ll bounce back and that I can bring you home to fill this desperate void your absence has left. I’ll get up and go to work as usual tomorrow but I’ll have a death grip on my phone all day.
I love you, dear Kuroneko. Please don’t leave me alone yet..
Thursday, Nov 18, 2021 · 1:02:28 AM +00:00 · MargaretPOA
Just want to say, I’m not much up for interactions this evening so I’ll hope you’ll forgive me for that and I’ll say thank you for all of your kind wishes. I’ll let everyone know when I get some more firm news of her condition but it’s going to be a long night for both of us.
Thursday, Nov 18, 2021 · 7:36:42 PM +00:00
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MargaretPOA
Dr. thinks that she has cancer. They’ve been treating for IBS and she’s been unresponsive to it. They are about to do an ultrasound to confirm but if it’s cancer, I’m not putting her through surgery because at 14, that would just be cruelty. My heart is breaking but if the test shows a tumor, I’m going to bring her home to die so I can bury her back in the place where she was born.
Thanks for all of the well wishes in the comments.
Friday, Nov 19, 2021 · 1:43:38 AM +00:00
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MargaretPOA
I am going to republish this so people have a better chance of seeing it. The short version is that while cancer can’t be ruled out, the ultrasound didn’t confirm it either so we are treating her for IBS, (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and she is back home with me. She has a great appetite and she is even eating the (very expensive) prescription diet food and seems to like it. Only time will tell if she had a tumor or not but the “mass” turned out to be a thickening of the intestinal wall, not an actual blockage.
I have an enormous amount of medication that she needs to take and I’ll have to take her in for a B12 injection weekly moving forward but while not at full bars, she’s definitely her old self again. most of the meds are just temporary but she has feline probiotics and the B12 she’ll need for life.
Thanks again to all who commented and sent the healing thoughts our way. I’ll keep you posted and I’ll write a full post with new photos soon. Take care all and I love you.