How do you feel about Liz Cheney?
I really need to see a shrink. I'm starting to fall in love with Liz Cheney. Liz fucking Cheney! It’s pretty fucking unbelievable that I would suddenly fall in love with this woman – a woman who voted with the former fuck 93% of the time! But the times, they are a changin’ and I'm pretty sure that nobody here wants to hear about this. I'm pretty sure that nobody cares about this existential crisis that I'm going through. So, I decided to see my shrink this morning to talk about this. I told her that nobody cares what I think and that nobody ever listens to me. She quickly looked over my shoulder and said, “Next!” Honestly, I need a new shrink. I told her that I keep having nightmares about squirrels eating me alive, and she said, “That’s because the squirrels think you’re nuts.”
Anyway, I simply cannot take my eyes off this woman. In fact, I am watching her right now on my television while she gives a very powerful speech about why Mark Meadows should be held in criminal contempt for ignoring a valid subpoena issued by the January 6th Commission investigating what we all know took place: the former fuck incited a violent insurrection to overthrow the government and many people were instrumental in this, including a number of Congress critters, like Lauren Boebert. I want to see her subpoenaed and answer why she live-tweeted Nancy Pelosi’s whereabouts during the insurrection. But maybe she just cared about Pelosi’s safety, in the worst way, of course. And sometimes I wonder whether I should have taken Liz Cheney up on her offer to have me go duck hunting with her father, who’s a real Dick. I decided not to go because a lot of my friends would be upset with me if I did that. One friend here said that I did not want to lose face. And another friend here said that if I had gone, it would have been an interesting face off.
Don't get me wrong, Liz Cheney is the last woman on earth that I could see myself being with. We would make for some very strange bedfellows. Making love with Liz Cheney would be like playing the violin. I have absolutely no idea how to do that. But watching her this afternoon giving her impassioned speech about why trump and his acolytes should be held accountable for the events that took place on January 6th, I could not help but get a rise. Marjorie Green was sitting right behind her making faces. And so were many other Republicans sitting behind her on the right side of the aisle, which is obviously the wrong side. Adam Kinzinger has decided that he will not run for reelection. Not a zinger, but I do understand his tune. Trump will primary him with a neo-fascist. That’s the fascist way to get booted out of Republican party if you have an ounce of courage. But the woman that I have a weird fascination with will continue running for office and I would be OK with that. Politically speaking, Liz Cheney and I are polar opposites. I think that we should save the polar bears, but she does not give a shit about the polar bears based on her climate change record in the House of Representatives.
And I know that many here will say that Liz Cheney is an asshole and will always be an asshole. She simply wants to be the moral center of an immoral political party. I get that. But for right now, I hope that you will find it in your heart to indulge me in this wild fantasy. Mind you, I'm going through a terrible divorce at this time, so my thinking may be very cloudy and disjointed.
Of course, this is all snark. But I do find it fascinating to see someone like Liz Cheney risk her political future and perhaps even her life to preserve our democracy. No matter how you feel about Liz Cheney, I think that this deserves a toast. It is one thing for a Democrat in Congress to be seeking criminal sanctions against Donald Trump and his toadies, but I find it very amazing that an extremely conservative member of Congress is sounding like AOC when it comes to the seriousness of what actually took place on January 6th and why those who were responsible should be held accountable. And the fact that she's a very conservative Republican makes it even more striking. She has at least the patina of credibility and cannot be easily dismissed by Fox News and other Moscow-run “news outlets.” I do not know what patina means, but I thought I'd throw it in there to make me sound intelligent and to give this diary some patina of respectability.
Of course, once this is all over and justice runs its course, Liz Cheney will go back to her neo-fascist roots. And that is when my fascination with her will end. But for the moment I really do love this woman. Love is fleeting. It always runs away from me very fast.
How do you feel about Liz Cheney?