Okay, Generalissimo. Whatever you say.
Donald Trump has never understood America. For that matter, he’s never understood Western liberal democracy or any of its key pillars, one of which happens to be a peaceful and stable transfer of power.
What does he understand? That’s a great question. How to turn a real estate fortune into a smaller real estate fortune? The difference between regular and extra crispy? That it’s considered gauche to crush your Adderall with a McDonaldland Grimace glass instead of a silver serving spoon? Who the fuck knows, really?
Honestly, I’m not sure why he wants to be president again. He can’t scream at gofers and hate-scroll on the toilet in Florida? Is it the helicopter rides? Nixon’s bowling alley? What, exactly? (I’m being a little coy here. The answer likely boils down to four words: “Letitia James” and “Cy Vance.”)
Anyway, following a weekend in which disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn openly expressed his warm and fuzzy feelings toward violent overthrows of legitimately elected governments, we see reports that Supermanatee is hoping to get in on the fun as well. According to New York Times Washington correspondent Maggie Haberman, DJT thinks he’s going to be back in the White House by August.
For the nontweeters:
Trump has been telling a number of people he’s in contact with that he expects he will get reinstated by August (no that isn’t how it works but simply sharing the information).
It isn’t happening in a vacuum. It is happening as he faced the possibility of an indictment from the Manhattan DA.
But he is not putting out statements about the “audits” in states just for the sake of it. He’s been laser focused on them, according to several people who’ve spoken with him (as well as WaPo reporting a few weeks ago).
Reinstated? Sure, Jan. Is that a banana republic in your pocket or are you just Mussolini?
So where is Trump getting his information? I’d be remiss not to mention that Pillow Man Mike Lindell has trundled out this same fragrant heap o’ horse plop more than once.
Of course, Donald Trump will listen to anyone who tells him what he wants to hear. If you want to get a meeting with him, tell him that you took hydroxychloroquine and not only conquered COVID but now have the power to summon infinite flocks of ravens. He’ll squeeze you right in between Mike Lindell and the Demon Sperm Doctor.
I don’t want to be too flippant. Trump, because he’s Trump, is threatening the very foundations of our democracy as we speak—and his craven toadies are all too blissfully riding along on the wacky wagon.
Personally, I think he’s nuts to believe he’ll be reinstated by August. But the way things are going, I could see him being installed by a cabal of losers who can’t accept their mounting losses.
But that’s 2024 we’re talking about. We better make sure we work hard to end the threat he poses before then.
Are you listening, Joe Manchin?
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