Here’s the online “The Borowitz Report” from this week on the website of The New Yorker magazine:
FLORIDA —In a potentially ominous development for the Florida governor, a new poll shows Ron DeSantis hemorrhaging support among voters who identify as opposed to dying.
According to the poll, DeSantis’s favorability numbers are plummeting among Floridians who describe themselves as “somewhat,” “very,” or “strongly” opposed to being dead.
In order to be fair and balanced, the report added reaction from a DeSantis aide who dismissed the poll numbers, saying “this obsession with not dying is the kind of political correctness the people of Florida are tired of.”
“Governor DeSantis has had a very strong pro-dying message, and that’s not going to change,” the aide said.
The tragedy is that this report almost seems believable given Gov. DeathSantis’ opposition to mask and vaccine mandates (even in schools) that might reduce the spread of the more virulent COVID-19 delta variant,
Florida has become the new epicenter for COVID. As of Aug. 11, the Sunshine State reported a seven-day moving average number of cases of more than 21,000 per day, which accounts for nearly 20 percent of the seven-day moving average for the entire U.S.
The report is also quite reflective of the poll-driven coverage that passes for political reporting in many news outlets.
Just to make clear: The author, Andy Borowitz, is a comedian who has been writing “The Borowitz Report,” a satirical column on the news, for The New Yorker for many years.