When an enlightened child tells neophyte mind-freer Neo in the 1999 classic movie The Matrix that “there is no spoon” and bends the illusory utensil with their mind, it’s a metaphor for the fundamental malleability of social constructs and what we consider reality.
When a selfish manchild made famous by his own obstinate bigotry despite being a clinical psychologist (Jordan Peterson) tells podcaster, fight commentator, and comedian (Joe Rogan) that “there is no climate”, it’s not a metaphor. It’s just one of the dumbest things to ever be worth an apparent hundred million dollars for Spotify listeners who are willing to wade through over four hours of idiocy.
Obviously we’re not spending a full afternoon listening to a mumbling misinformer interview a tuxedo’d dingbat, but our Twitter feed was bursting with takes on the duo’s discussion. Let’s (begrudgingly) take a look at the top three lowlights, bearing in mind the wise words of Molly Taft, who wrote “it’s really not worth anyone’s time to engage with ‘I just took a bong hit for the first time’-style talking points from a dude whose head is filled with an empty swampland of his own self-importance.”
So assuming your time is worthless and you wish to keep reading, let’s press on!
Things started off stupid right from the jump, with a beyond-parody Peterson telling Rogan that, and this is not an exaggeration or paraphrasing, “there’s no such thing as climate.”
Now, while a smart man might have then explained that what humanity experiences in the day-to-day is weather not climate, which is an abstract averaging of those days, Jordan Peterson is not a smart man.
“Climate and ‘everything’ are the same word,” Peterson continued, “and that’s what really bothers me about the climate change types.” In the ensuing ramble, Peterson is clearly referencing Justin Worland’s TIME magazine cover story about how people (and governments) are increasingly recognizing that “climate change touches everything” and are starting to respond with comprehensive, cross-society measures, but he doesn’t actually cite it.
He instead pretends he’s clever by pointing out that apparently climate is everything, “but your models aren’t based on everything. Your models are based on a set number of variables here. So that means you’ve reduced the variables, which are everything, to that set. So how did you decide which set of variables to include in the equation if it’s about everything? And that’s not just a criticism, that’s like, if it’s about everything then your models aren’t right. Because your models do not and can not model everything.”
Stop the presses! Models aren’t everything? What’s next, Peterson’s going to expose the frauds at Rand McNally, because their maps aren’t life size and don’t include every pothole?
This is a great example of the intellectual emptiness of Peterson’s schtick. Obviously models don’t include everything, and it’s hardly news to scientists that “all models are wrong, but some are useful.” And of course anyone who’s so much as pulled up Google Scholar and glanced at an actual climate modeling paper would know that the decisions about variables and such are extensively documented in methodology sections and appendices. But Peterson’s argument is full of SAT-words and his audience is hardly about to check his work, so he sure sounds smart!
We were surprised that one of Peterson’s contrarianism was so out there that even Rogan was quick to puncture it: Peterson claimed that more people die every year because of solar power than nuclear power. A puzzled Rogan said something about sunburns and asked him to elaborate, and Peterson, laughing and smirking because he’s clearly concern-trolling, says that people have fallen off roofs when installing the solar panels. That people dying is literally a punchline for Peterson is one thing, but what’s really incredible is that Rogan says “well that’s gravity, right?” because even he can see Peterson’s full of it, and in response Peterson attempts to claim that’s his point all along. “That’s a good example of unintended consequences. Because systems are complex and when you change them you think only good things will happen.”
Hmm if only there were an incredibly complex system, one that may be said to include everything, that is experiencing some unintended consequences of changes as a result of some human activity, with ramifications that are very much not good…
Lacking such an example that would show Peterson’s two-faced but no-brained philosophizing to be little more than social-media sophistry, we’ll move on to the last fun claim.
It’s our favorite, because even though someone like Rogan knows enough to occasionally push back on Peterson, the deniers at NetZeroWatch (the rebranded GWPF) retweeted a clip in which Peterson presents his super-well-thought out and serious contention with climate policy. If you actually cared about the environment, just make poor people rich. Rich people treat the environment better, poor people are “resource inefficient”, so we should simply be “making the poor rich as quick as possible.”
Oh of course! Why didn’t anyone think of that, “make poor people rich”, what a policy genius! Pack it up folks, Peterson’s solved this whole thing. Just gotta make poor people rich. Easy! And while you’re at it, don’t forget to give them super-polluter yachts!
If you haven’t already guessed, the crack expert Peterson relies on for these wisened takes is, judging by his retweets, none other than Bjorn Lomborg, which would explain all the stupid.
Back in the day, you’d have to do something gross and embarrassing to be on Joe Rogan’s show Fear Factor. But no bugs those contestants ate were as gross as just appearing on Rogan’s podcast, and no shameful act performed for that cash is as embarrassing as Peterson’s attempts to pass as an intellectual. Unfortunately, while there is no spoon for those living in The Matrix, for those of us living in this reality, it appears there is no shame.
