Before you read this tweet, recall that this woman is a highly influential pundit and a rising young star in the conservative movement. She’s one of their best and brightest. And yet she appears to be two sniffs of airplane glue and a grilled cheese Jesus away from being Michele Bachmann.
You don’t need me to tell you that Candace Owens is a conspiracy theorist. She’s been a leader in the conservative push to kill as many fellow conservatives as possible based on the theory that it will drive Joe Biden’s approval ratings down among the surviving Americans who were smart enough not to listen to people like Candace Owens in the first place.
Or maybe Owens really is convinced that the COVID-19 vaccine is the Mark of the Beast. (I can’t wait to get to heaven to see St. Peter weighing my case. “Hmm, let’s see, you took the Mark of the Beast three times—not necessarily a dealbreaker—and you masturbated … wait, this can’t be right. … Oh, my God, this is just from the 1979 J.C. Penney spring catalog bra section? Oh, the humanity! *Giant flushing sound*.)
Anyway, Owens—vaccine conspiracy theorist extraordinaire—also just casually mentioned that she doesn’t believe the moon landing happened. Because why would she? She can say practically anything she wants and still hold onto her barmy fanbase.
For the nontweeters:
Now for some light-hearted fun. What’s the one “conspiracy theory” that no matter what anyone says you believe is true. Mine is that the moon landing in 1969 was completely faked. Just nothing about it makes sense. Especially NASA “accidentally erasing” the original footage.
Good God, woman. You cannot be for real. Can you?
Needless to say, Twitter was not impressed with her logic:
Remember when the intellectual standard-bearers for the conservative movement were people like William F. Buckley and George Will? Now they’re vaccine and moon landing skeptics. I shudder to think what’s coming next. Maybe they’ll come full circle and announce that chemtrails cure COVID-19.
Literally nothing would surprise me anymore.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
