News Item: Alito on SCOTUS critics: ‘Questioning our integrity crosses an important line’
An Islamic jihadist walks into a bar and sits down to next to Samuel Alito who is enjoying a sarsaparilla. The bartender says, “We don’t serve Islamic jihadists in here.” Alito speaks up. “Hang on, fine bartender, I have a simple test. You may have no reason to deny this man a drink!”
Alito addresses the Islamic jihadist, “Do you believe that women should be subservient to men?”
“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist, adding, “much like your fellow justice, Amy Coney Barrett believes in her religious cult!”
“Indeed, “ Alito responds. “And do you believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman?”
“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist. “How could it be any other way?”
“Indeed,” Alito replies. “Do you believe your faith should have precedence over any other faith?”
“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist. “My faith is the one true faith on which my country was founded!”
“See,” Alito says to the bartender, “This man is one of us! Give him whatever he wants, on me!”
The Islamic jihadist begins unbuttoning his shirt. “Would you mind if I took this thing off? It’s heavy and I sweat underneath it.”
Alito asks, “What is it?”
“A suicide vest.”
Alito pauses, then inquires, “Can you teach me how to make one of those?”
