While I can only assume Donald Trump is terrified of any book that hasn’t been hollowed out and stuffed with lunchmeats, he’s apparently really nervous about The New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman’s upcoming tell-all-that-maybe-should-have-been-told-years-ago magnum opus.
Already we’ve learned that Trump used to flush documents down the toilet like a four-year-old trying to hide his poopy Underoos, and according to Trump’s ex-communications director, Alyssa Farah, even more nutty morsels are likely in store.
Business Insider:
Alyssa Farah made the comment during an appearance on ABC's The View. It came after Axios obtained an excerpt of Haberman's book saying that Trump's aides believed he routinely clogged a White House toilet by flushing wads of paper down it. Haberman's book also reportedly says Trump has told people he is still in touch with the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.
"I still talk to some folks in Trumpworld, the ones who have not engaged in criminality," Farah said Thursday. "The former president is terrified of Maggie Haberman's book. This is the first big anecdote, but there is quite a bit more to come."
There are folks in Trumpworld who weren’t involved in criminality? Sounds like the elf in Rudolph who didn’t like to make toys, or the vegetarian sharks from Finding Nemo.
Joy Behar, a cohost on The View, asked Farah whether Trump was equally apprehensive about Peril by The Washington Post's Bob Woodward and Robert Costa. But Farah said Haberman's book is the one Trump is most nervous about given her years of experience covering him at both The Times and at the New York Post.
Farah added, “She’s covered him for decades. I’m very interested to see what else” is coming.” Aren’t we all?
Of course, Trump has already called Haberman—the reporter who’s interviewed him countless times—a “maggot” and described the book he hasn’t yet read as “fake,” but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care deeply about what this reporter writes.
The Insider pointed to comments Haberman once made in which she noted that Trump is “obsessed” with The New York Times: “Even though he was born rich, he doesn't see himself that way, and he sees himself as, sort of, this guy who made it big and he plopped himself down into the middle of Fifth Avenue, and he still wasn't treated seriously.” Haberman also claimed, “He is always going to care enormously about what The Times writes, regardless of what Steve Bannon and whomever else is saying. And it just plays a different role in his psyche.”
So good luck with your book, Maggie. This sounds like another fascinating piece of literature I won’t be purchasing because it’s yet another Trump White House tell-all that seems full of alls that should have been told yesterday, not tomorrow.
Of course, by “yesterday” I mean years ago, when Trump’s flush-a-palooza was just getting underway. For the record, Haberman denies that she sat on this, or any other, Trump anecdote while he was in office—which kind of makes you wonder what could possibly be in this book.
But, hey, book sales are more important than leaving a functioning liberal democracy to succeeding generations. I get it. Don’t worry, Maggie. I figure there’s at least an even chance that our republic will pull through.
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