My darling George, who I loved for over 50 years has passed. It was not covid, instead, it was his heart. It was sudden. He died at home. It’s like a dream now, only reality has set in. I went to the mortuary last week to make arrangements. I don’t think I will ever use the word ‘arrangements’ again. It’s cold and impersonal.
I am in the angry phase of grief today. So instead of raging against my loss I am channeling my ire at the eight elected officials who traveled to Moscow July 4, 2018. I have called their offices in Washington and written postcards letting them know what cowards and traitors they are. I also quote Ukrainians, with a few FUs for good measure. I realize it’s not going to change their minds but it sure feels good to let them know what I think of their traitorous behavior and deflects from my own helplessness.
How can one make arrangements after life together, raising three children and loving each other? I look to the Ukrainains as they begin to bury their honored dead. My children and I will plant George under a tree, a guava tree, here in our yard. I don’t know if we need a permit to bury his ashes in a non-cemetery but we are going to do it anyway. George always danced to a different tune and insisted on being late to his own funeral.
Speaking of funerals, we aren’t having one. We will celebrate his life, and all the wonderful things he did in his life as soon as we can bring him home, Like the time in Kahakaloa, Maui when he used his old red ford pickup to tow stranded tourists and their rental cars out of deep red mud. Or when there was a brush fire along the road to Spreckelsville and we stopped so he could shovel dirt and help put the fire out. He always carried a shovel in the truck bed. He had been a boy scout and was usually prepared for anything.
Except he hadn’t prepared for this. I am not prepared either but holding up and trying to be brave. I cry when no one is looking and wonder how I will pay for those final arrangements the mortuary has requested. I am asking for help this time and have set up a Gofund me page.
It’s hard to ask for help, I am usually the helper but please, if you can, help me bring him home.
Mahalo and aloha