Eventually Donald Trump has to run out of marks, right? This feels like if Mussolini had escaped at the end of World War II and started selling knockoff Avon products out of the back of his van. Hey, Wall Street investors! Donald Trump is a grifter! If you want to invest in social media, you’d be better off using your savings to buy more MySpace friends. At least that platform actually exists, unlike the ocher oaf’s newest scam, Truth Social.
Apparently, Wall Street—which learned nothing from Donald Trump’s lubberly foray into politics—is starting to wake up to the fact that he’s nearly as bad a businessman as a president. Yesterday, the stock price of Digital World Acquisition Corp., the special purpose acquisition company (SPAC) that sold equities to fund Truth Social, plunged after news that the social media company would delay the launch of its app spread like wildfire on an unraked forest floor.
The stock price of the blank-check company that has partnered with ex-President Donald Trump’s social media firm plunged Monday in late-day trading as news of the delay in the app’s launch spread on Twitter.
The company, Digital World Acquisition Corp., opened trading Monday at $87.02 per share, and spiked to as high as $97.15 earlier Monday. But the stock price began plunging around 3:30 p.m. ET, and fell to as low as $80.45 per share.
DWAC closed the trading day at $83.88 per share.
Of course, stocks go up and down all the time—and sometimes they endure pretty wild swings—but I have a feeling this one is gonna go low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.
Why? Because a dippy dairy farmer is running it, FFS. Devin Nunes, the Atticus Finch of fictional cow suers, was tapped by Trump to run his company because … he happened to be loofahing Trump’s perineum when the big man had this brain fart? I really don’t know. Anyway, Nunes had actually announced the delay on Jan. 23, but the geniuses backing this horse’s ass apparently just took note of it, sending the stock southward. The reason Nunes gave for the delay? Beta testing. Which I assume means Nunes’ nephew keeps drawing double shifts at Jack in the Box and will get to Trump’s fake Twitter thing when he gets to it.
Meanwhile, it’s not just Wall Street investors who appear less than confident about the launch of Donald Trump’s social media company. Indeed, Melania Trump appears to have slapped it away like one of her husband’s wee lemur hands:
Parler announced on Wednesday that it is engaging in a social media "special arrangement" with former first lady Melania Trump where she will share “exclusive communications” on the social media network.
Parler said that Trump would share "exclusive communications on Parler," noting it is already powering her blockchain technology and nonfungible token platform, MelaniaTrump.com.
Hey, if I wanted to get exclusive communications from Melania Trump, I’d check out the Amazon “Look Inside” feature for Michelle Obama’s book. Yeah, I’m not sure this is going to be as much of a draw as Parler thinks.
Of course, Donald Trump’s social media company is obviously going to be the biggest and the best, so why on Earth would his own wife sign an agreement with a competitor? Does she stay in Motel 6s when she’s in Florida? Does she serve Steak-umms at dinner parties instead of Trump Steaks?
“I am excited and inspired by free speech platforms that give direct communication to people worldwide,” Melania Trump said in a statement. “Parler has been on the forefront of utilizing Web3 technology and empowers its users to foster productive discourse.”
I don’t know what Web3 technology is—and I doubt Melania does either—but it sounds really cool! Then again, Trump’s site will almost certainly have Web4 technology. Or at least that’s what he’ll call it. Or maybe he’ll dub it Web6, because it will obviously be twice as good!
P.T. Barnum is alleged to have said “there’s a sucker born every minute.” I think he grossly underestimated.
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