On Thursday, the House voted 424-8 to suspend normal trade relations with Russia in the wake of Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked war of aggression against Ukraine. Congress rarely achieves that kind of consensus on anything, unless the vote is for not telling Ted Cruz about the weekly after-work happy hour, but Ukraine’s plight has united Americans—on both sides of the aisle—like nothing else in years.
That said, one side of the aisle is a bit more pristine than the other. While faux-Dem and former Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard has been eager to parrot pro-Kremlin propaganda, the most avid Putin-humpers remain ensconced on the right.
And some of them aren’t even trying to hide it.
Those who voted not to rebuke Moscow’s very stable genius—Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Thomas Massie, Andy Biggs, Dan Bishop, Chip Roy, and Glenn Grothman—are all Republicans. And while North Carolina Rep. Madison Cawthorn (a Republican, natch) was on the right side of this vote, he’s arguably done far more damage to Ukraine’s war effort than anyone else in Congress.
Much like the Frozen Fish Stick Fuck, Tucker Carlson, Cawthorn is sending gift-wrapped sound bites to Li’l Vlad that seem uniquely designed to undermine the West’s ongoing fight for democracy.
A little more than a week ago, he called Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a “thug.”
Transcript!
CAWTHORN: “Remember that Zelenskyy is a thug. Remember that the Ukrainian government is incredibly corrupt and is incredibly evil and has been pushing woke ideologies.”
Well, isn’t that a fun interpretation of world events?! Psst, Madison: Read the room.
Cawthorn later attempted to walk the comments back, saying that Putin’s actions are “disgusting,” while also implying Zelenskyy was engaged in “disinformation.” But the damage was done: Cawthorn’s love letter to Vlad has since received abundant airtime in the Motherland, because Russian state TV likely couldn’t believe its luck (second tweet):
For the nontweeters:
“Russian state TV also jumped on comments by Republican congressman Madison Cawthorn, who called Zelenskyy “a thug.” That got played over and over.”
And wouldn’t you know it? One of Cawthorn’s fellow congressional Tar Heels, Republican Sen. Thom Tillis, noticed.
For the nontweeters:
“If your comments are being replayed over and over by Russian state propaganda outlets…”
#ncpol
No need to finish that sentence to suss out the intended meaning, but I’ll try anyway: “If your comments are being replayed over and over by Russian state propaganda outlets … maybe you should move to Russia? Or at the very least to Mar-a-Lago, the winter Grand Kremlin Palace.”
Incidentally, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy also weighed in on Cawthorn’s “thug” remarks Friday, saying “Madison is wrong,” while also declaring continued support for his reelection.
Tragically, after spending years in the low-oxygen environment of Donald Trump’s sigmoid colon, numerous Republicans have clearly found it difficult to dial down their pro-Putin puffery. But they’re not just backing a losing horse. They’re backing an evil, brutally violent horse who gruesomely broke his leg out of the starting gate.
The nation’s mood has shifted, and these Trumpy types would be better off going back to the Mr. Potato Head wars of early 2021. Though I suspect if Putin joined that fight, he’d be crushed all over again. Like those brave Ukrainians, it seems, that classic toy tuber has eyes in the back of his head.
Slava Ukraini!
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