The so-called “People’s Convoy,” or “Trucker’s Convoy,” or “Freedom Convoy” in Washington, D.C., continues anemically running along and off the rails. Inclement weather, cyclists, stop lights, and general lack of interest have been difficult obstacles for these faketriots. There’s also the general confusion as to what exactly they are protesting and what exactly they want—other than to “tar and feather” the Black Lives Matter Plaza in downtown D.C.
On Tuesday, more strange pieces of news have trickled out from the convoy. Some of it may simply be rumors, some of it real, but most (if not all) of it is equal parts hilarious, ridiculous, and worrisome. The Daily Beast’s Zachary Petrizzo has been covering the truckers, and he laid out a series of tweets suggesting the convoy crew are trying to figure out if they can start arresting D.C. residents and officials. How and why they would do this is murky—and sounds a lot like an attempt to either become a full-fledged domestic terrorist action or a last-ditch effort to save face for the spectacular failure of a faux-movement.
According to Petrizzo, co-organizer and trucker Ron Coleman says the new goal of the convoy is to begin making "citizen's arrests" of Metro Police Department officers and D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser. "We have to put a summons out to the Metro PD and Mayor Bowser...we would do citizen's arrests [of] them." Obviously you can only arrest someone if you have a reason, and the one that Coleman “claims convoy lawyers are looking into” seems to be connected with using the bathroom.
Unless the mayor of a city is personally forcing truckers to urinate in their pants, I’m not exactly sure what his point is. Maybe the D.C. cops are forcing these guys with their “Blue Lives Matter” flags to pee themselves? But let us be serious for a moment. As any long-haul trucker—and anyone who drives any vehicle over the age of 40—knows, there are a slew of very inexpensive portable and small car urinals. There are “pee bottles,” “pee hoses,” and “pee toilets” for all ages and genders. If you are a long-haul trucker and you don’t own an item like this, chances are you aren’t a long-haul trucker.
But there also seem to be rumors of something a lot more frightening: “Over the past week, there has been a growing fascination with the prospects of arresting DC residents. Some truckers have also suggested that they could arrest a Beltway driver if they successfully pin in the driver, take them out of their car, and then conduct an arrest.” That’s what most people, if not all people, would call “kidnapping.”
It is hard to figure out the context here. What exactly were the truckers all bent out of shape about? Hard to say. Maybe they were just frustrated after having their convoy brought to its knees by a guy on a bike?
Considering that they don’t seem to have a reason to be in D.C. other than to make traffic, spread pollution, and not use their trucks for work, it seems the snake has begun to eat its tail.
Are you confused?
Oh my. According to Sasnak’s YouTube stream, a trucker who has been recording and livestreaming the convoy, the guy who started speaking was a part of another group, and “he’s bad news.” Seems like a competing crew looking to hijack this well-directed group of truckers that all want ... Well, who knows? In other news, the group of anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers, and anti-public health measurers may have a mystery respiratory infection circulating amongst them.
This is the guy reportedly having the problems with the mystery illness.
Here he is at urgent care, updating with the news that all he has is a “bad sinus infection that has developed into a respiratory fun [sic].” Still no word as to what the convoy wants besides small-donor donations to pay for driving around in circles and guzzling gas.
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