The United States had more mass shootings over the holiday weekend—11, to be exact—making us the Joey Chestnut of mayhem, in that no one can even hope to challenge us. Republicans insist the reason we have so many more gun killings than any other country can’t possibly be the guns—because too many Fox News viewers enjoy doing white-knuckle drive-by hits on mule deer from their Rascal scooters. So when a shooting occurs, the intrepid Fox News team reaches into the past to pluck out tired, long-rejected explanations for our uniquely horrible, very American gun violence problem.
Of course, all you really need to know about Fox News’ Tucker Carlson is that he thinks Russia—which has been led by a murderous, autocratic tyrant for years—should prevail against its smaller neighbor, Ukraine. Sadly, while Tucker has presumably gotten over the knee-jerk anti-Russia sloganeering of the Cold War, the rest of his takes come straight from the ‘50s.
Ironically, most people need cannabis’ anti-nausea effects to get through even one episode of Carlson’s show, and so by the time they tune in they’re already well on their way to multiple murder sprees before he can even begin to warn them about modern reefer madness.
Hoo-boy, Little Choad Fauntleroy was in rare form on Tuesday.
From the July 5 edition of Tucker Tases Your Tante’s Taint:
Transcript!
CARLSON: “Would you sell a gun to that guy? Does he seem like a nutcase—of course he does. So why didn’t anyone raise an alarm? Well?
Maybe because he didn’t stand out. Maybe because there are a lot of young men in America who suddenly look and act a lot like this guy. It’s not an attack, it’s just true. Like [Highland Park shooting suspect Robert] Crimo, they inhabit a solitary fantasy world of social media, porn, and video games.
They’re high on government-endorsed weed. ‘Smoke some more, it’s good for you.’ They’re numbed by the endless psychotropic drugs that are handed out in every school in the country by crackpots posing as counselors.
And of course they’re angry. They know that their lives will not be better than their parents’; they’ll be worse. That’s all but guaranteed. They know that. They’re not that stupid.
And yet the authorities in their lives, mostly women, never [stop] lecturing them about their so-called privilege. ‘You’re male; you’re privileged.’ Imagine that. Try to imagine an unhealthier, unhappier life than that. So a lot of young men in America are going nuts. Are you surprised?”
Really, Tucky? That’s what you’re going with as the fuel for mass shootings? Weed and women?
Listen, you frozen fish stick fuck. Other countries have weed and “woke” women—as well as social media and video games—and they haven’t become killing fields. (Though they do tend to have stronger gun control laws and social safety nets—hint, hint.)
I’ve debunked this spurious weed connection before—like, a month ago—but this “blunt” assessment from a 2017 University of Washington study bears repeating:
Results indicate that the legalization of marijuana, both recreational and medical, does not increase violent crime rates. In contrast, marijuana legalization could lead to a decline in violent crime such as homicide, robbery and aggravated assault.
The daily Fox News talking points for Tuesday appear to have been crafted specifically to scapegoat cannabis for gun violence. Laura Ingraham went out of her way to defame God’s perfect creation as well.
So of course Tucker couldn’t help but bash women and liberals for pointing out that historically oppressed people endured countless centuries of brutal white male domination even before industrial-grade nut lamps unleashed a fresh tsunami of testosterone onto our feminized shores. But hey, we had a Black president that one time, and our vice president is a Black woman, so I guess historically oppressed groups are totally caught up now, huh?
Now, Occam’s razor still applies. Is it possible that selling AR-15s to young people could be slightly more dangerous than selling them video games? Or that maybe, just maybe, white men are angry because Carlson and his peers keep conjuring phantoms for them to be angry at? Maybe tackling wealth inequality—a notion that gives Fox News and the GOP hives—would go a long way toward soothing the jangled nerves of a generation that increasingly feels left behind.
Then again, the folks at Fox News are not looking for real solutions. They’re just exploiting people’s already existing fears and biases for cash. It’s not that different than chasing a herd of gazelle into a net and then shooting them all in the head.
Somehow, though, it seems even less honest.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.