Jamestown, Michigan resident Jesse Dillman, recognizing that the Patmos Library is "a core part of the community fabric," set up a GoFundMe page so that the library can stay open.
I've had great conversations today with some advisors from the Lakeland Library Coop (which Patmos Library is part of), Every Library [Institute], and the Michigan Library Association. We are grateful to be working with Every Library Institute. They have pledged to help Patmos Library through the use of these funds in the most efficient (and tax-free) way possible!
The response has been swift and supportive—in less than two weeks over $140k of the $245k goal has been donated from people all over the country who aren’t so keen on censorship. If you'd like to chip in, here's the GoFundMe link.
Messing around with librarians is always a dicey proposition. Remember when George W. Bush tried to intimidate them? He ended up with blisters on his hiney for the rest of his presidency. To the haters of Jamestown, we have just two words: Got Aloe?
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 16, 2022
Note: Today is National Rum Day. Since it must be 5 o'clock somewhere on earth already (or certainly at the Space Station), the C&J Tiki hut is already open and dispensing a tasty assortment of complimentary Daiquiris, Mojitos, Mai Tais, Dark & Stormys, Hurricanes, Blue Hawaiis, Cuba Libres, Zombies, Bumbos, Coquitos, and, of course, Orange Whips. Do stop by and say hi. I'll be over in the corner making outrageous slurred accusations at a lamp.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til autumn: 37
Days 'til the German Bierfest in Atlanta: 4
Estimated number of solar panels operating in the U.S. in 2021: 240 million
Estimated number there'll be in 8 years, thanks in large part to the Inflation Reduction Act: 960 million
Amount that the major drug companies spent to defeat the Inflation Reduction Act: $100 million
Age of author-historian David McCullough when he died last week: 89
17-year-old Romanian swimmer David Popovici's time when he broke the record for the 100m freestyle, a time I could easily beat in the C&J kiddie pool but, nah, I just don’t feel like it (but I definitely could): 46.86 seconds
Puppy Pic of the Day: In a Perry County, Missouri cave: Saved!!!
CHEERS to our top story. Senator Lindsey Graham, that nasty little glob of human lickspittle who will become his worst enemy's best buddy if there's free golf and booze in it for him, was told by a federal judge to put on his big boy pants and face the music:
A federal judge on Monday denied Sen. Lindsey Graham's effort to quash a subpoena seeking his testimony in an investigation into possible 2020 election interference in Georgia by former President Donald Trump and others.
In a 22-page order, U.S. District Court Judge Leigh Martin May in Atlanta rejected Graham's arguments against having to testify before a special grand jury, including his contention that the speech and debate clause of the Constitution shields the South Carolina Republican from providing testimony.
Bold prediction: the Fifth Amendment is gonna need a long vacation when this is all over.
CHEERS to primary fevuh! The fun in the sun continues today with more contests to decide which America-loving Democrats will face which Russia-loving MAGA cultists in November's midterms. I've studied all the demographics, psychographics, crosstabs, pulltabs, and cans of TAB in the back of our fridge that expired in 1997. Here's what I can tell you:
Alaska This is the state that Russia can see from their house…and vice versa, so no funny business, Vladimir. Alaska is also the home of late Senator Ted Stevens, the first man to discover that the internet "isn’t a dump truck…it's a series of tangled-up tubes." It is also a major producer of the world's igloos, but don’t you dare try and claim that Klondike Bars are from Alaska because they were actually invented in Mansfield, Ohio.
South Dakota Sturgis is where the world's largest Covid super-spreader event takes place each year disguised as a motorcycle rally that attracts a million people. South Dakota is also the home of Mount Rushmore. South Dakota has been offered as a gift to Canada multiple times, a gesture politely declined with the excuse that, "We have so many provinces already, we wouldn’t know where to put another one."
Wyoming Wyoming calls itself "The Equality State" on all its signs and stationery, and you'll usually get a dirty look from residents when you point out that the typesetter forgot to add the crucial "Ha Ha Ha" to the end of it. Rep. Liz Cheney represents Wyoming's sole district, but because she's co-chair on the House Jan. 6 Committee to Stop Future Violent Insurrections, her party is going to fire her today at the polls for being such a killjoy.
The Daily Kos Elections Team will have all the highlights, but since the contests are taking place out west it'll be a late night for folks who live on the east coast—or as it's better known, The Real America. (Sorry, farm country. Facts is facts.)
JEERS to exiting too soon. On August 16, 1977, while sitting on his golden throne, 42 year-old Elvis Presley's heart ran out of steam and he died at 3:30 p.m. He was supposed to kick off a concert tour in Portland, Maine the next day, but those tickets went forever un-ripped:
Of course, this date has special significance for gaffe watchers: during a stop in South Carolina not so long ago, presidential candidate (Snort!) Michele Bachmann urged a campaign crowd—all six of them—to join her in wishing The King a happy birthday. Someone in the crowd yelled out the truth but she ignored it, of course, since facts are pesky things. Anyway, pay your hunka hunka burnin' respects here, darlin'. Thankyuhvrrrmuch.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
CHEERS to riding the rails. 124 years ago today, in 1898, Edwin Prescott patented his design for a "roller coaster." Followed the next day by a patent for "Ye Olde Hurl Bucket."
CHEERS to seeing the Puritans for the trees. As we mentioned last week, Maine's Democratic governor Janet Mills put the repeal of Roe v. Wade at the top of her latest fundraising mailer. And she's not alone—Democrats are going to be making a lot of noise about it leading up to the midterms, and here's more evidence why:
Americans overwhelmingly—[72%]—would like to be able to vote on an abortion measure on their state ballot, an exclusive USATODAY/Ipsos Poll finds. And if they had the chance, they would oppose efforts to ban the procedure by almost 2-1.
The survey, taken in the aftermath of the stunning defeat in Kansas last week of a proposal to remove abortion rights from the state constitution, is more evidence of a backlash to the Supreme Court's decision that allows states to sharpen restrictions on abortion or bar it entirely.
If there were a ballot measure in their state, those polled would vote by 54%-28% in favor of making abortion legal.
Geez. You can't even be a Supreme Court justice who makes decisions based on 15th-century witch hunters anymore without people getting all upset. I knew this would happen when we let women start exposing their ankles in public.
Ten years ago in C&J: August 16, 2012
JEERS to ballot bullshit. A Pennsylvania judge ruled yesterday that the state’s voter ID law should stand. Judge Robert Simpson said that he was giving the benefit of the doubt to the legislature, which put the law in place. If the PA Supreme Court doesn’t overturn it, it'll mean that Republicans have successfully passed a law based on the belief that a 1-in-15 million chance of attempted voter fraud outweighs a 1-in-13 chance that an otherwise eligible voter won’t be able to vote. On the bright side, at least they're not forcing voters to sign a GOP loyalty oath yet. They're savin' that for 2016.
And just one more…
CHEERS to going for a little spin. Gather the kids round the intertube screen, it’s time for a little home-school lesson from Professor Billeh. 40 years ago this week, in 1982, the first commercially produced compact discs were cranked out at a plant in Hanover, Germany, eventually causing vinyl record sales to plummet. (Bragging rights go to ABBA, whose “The Visitors” was lucky pressing #1.)
Today CD sales have plummeted as digital music takes over. But sales of vinyl records are continuing their years-long resurgence because of their richer sound and retro snaps, crackles and pops. I still remember the first LP I owned, at the age of six—a record of classic symphonic works for kids that came sealed with a long red wooden "baton." I spent a lot of hours wildly stabbing at the air while leading my invisible orchestra in the living room—and nearly poking my family's eyes out. Needless to say, my career as a guest conductor has been spotty at best.
But if you’re in the area, I’m leading the Squirrel Philharmonic in the 1812 Overture on the porch roof tonight. Tickets are just 10 almonds each. For an extra five, we’ll let you take shelter in our basement when the cannons start going off. (Those tree rats really love their gunpowder.)
Oh, and Al Franken is guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. 11:30, ABC. Golly, I hope he doesn’t get all political. That's a divisive topic, you know. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“I think the shortest distance between Donald Trump and an orange jumpsuit is through the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool.”