They say a hit dog tweets the loudest. Or something like that. No point in looking up the actual aphorism, because to compare Donald Trump to a dog is an inhuman affront. Much like Trump himself. He’s a multicellular organism of some sort, but he’s no dog, that’s for sure. Dogs are loyal, and hack up chicken bones on the bathroom tile with far less frequency.
Trump, who’s currently being investigated by everyone from the Department of Justice to the state of New York to the district attorney of Fulton County, Georgia, should probably be asking IBM if they can loan him their quantum computer to help him keep track of his lies. Instead he’s engaged in petty squabbles with a group of gadflies who are deliberately trying to engage him in such squabbles.
And like the sucker he is, he took the bait. Boy, did he ever.
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Shot:
Transcript!
NARRATOR: “Dear MAGA. We have some bad news. No, not that he lost. Not that your little coup attempt failed and its planners and the attackers are going to jail. No, the really bad news is why Trump told you he lost. Why he set it up way before the 2020 election. It wasn’t voter fraud, but it was fraud.
“Trump told you the election was stolen to rip you off, to sucker you, to take your hard-earned money and shovel it into his pockets. He spent it on himself, not to take back the White House. It was the biggest scam in political history. Every dollar you sent him paid to keep his shaky business empire and lavish lifestyle going. It was a sucker’s game all along.
”And do you know who the sucker is? It’s you.”
Chaser:
For the … non-Truthers?
The Perverts and Lowlifes of the Lincoln Project are back on, where else, Fox News. I thought they ran away to the asylum after their last catastrophic campaign, with charges made against them that were big time sleaze, and me getting many millions more votes in 2020 than I got in 2016. The Paul Ryun run Fox only has high standards for “Trump” ads, but not for anyone else. The Perverts should not be allowed to “false advertise,” and Fox News should not allow it to happen. See you all in Court!!!
Really? Trump’s gonna sue? The discovery process should be a real trip if that ever happens. He’d have to open the books on his “Stop the Steal” fundraising grift, and lord knows he doesn’t want to do that. After all, he raised $250 million for an “election defense fund” that didn’t exist.
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Why does Trump keep bringing up the fact that he got millions more votes in 2020 than in 2016? It’s like saying your favorite team scored more points in the Super Bowl they lost than in the Super Bowl they won, so they obviously won both Super Bowls. And implicit in that vintage whine is the admission that his vote total was actually correct. Hmm. Also, is it too much to ask of an actual former president of the United States to spell an ex-speaker of the House’s name correctly? Apparently so.
Of course, Trump’s Truth Social, which is to Twitter what carbonated foot-bath water is to Coke, may not be much of a megaphone for long; Trump’s desperate enough to use his account to try to sell ads to his devoted followers.
The business is in trouble because, well, Trump owns it and used to run it.
RELATED STORY: Trump left the board of his beloved Twitter knockoff—just before feds subpoenaed it
On Tuesday, Reuters reported that the special purpose acquisition company (SPAC) merger Trump was counting on was in jeopardy, with Thursday as a deadline. As of this writing, that shareholder vote isn’t going so well.
Digital World Acquisition Corp., the SPAC aiming to take former President Donald Trump’s media company public, adjourned its shareholder meeting by another three hours to allow voting to continue on delaying the merger.
The deadline for the merger is Thursday, and the vote could decide the fate of a $1.3 billion cash infusion from DWAC’s public offering and Trump Media and Technology Group’s potential listing on the stock market.
...
DWAC had been scheduled to announce the vote results on Tuesday, but Orlando adjourned its special meeting after just two minutes to provide more times for voting.
And while that’s the
biggest Truth Social news of the moment, by far the funniest
is this:
We do know, however, that [GOP Rep. Marjorie Taylor] Greene—the bombastic congresswoman from Georgia—will take a big hit if [Digital World Acquisition Corp., the SPAC in question] is liquidated. Greene and Indiana GOP Rep. Larry Buchson both purchased DWAC shares last fall. Buchson purchased a handful, but Greene bought quite a few—and at close to the highpoint. According to a periodic transaction report filed by Greene, she bought between $15,001 and $50,000 worth of DWAC stock on Oct. 22, 2021. Congressional stock tracking website CapitolTrades.com reports she bought her shares for $94.20 (which was the stock’s closing price that day), which would imply that Greene owns anywhere from 159.2 shares to 530 shares.
If it’s the latter, based on how low DWAC’s stock was trading on Wednesday afternoon, $50,000 worth of shares Greene bought last year would now be worth as little as $12,000. And if DWAC were to dissolve itself and pay investors just $10 a share, her loss could be as high as $44,700.
Oops! Looks like someone hitched their wagon to the wrong horse’s ass—even if that horse claims to be “an absolutely perfect physical specimen.”
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Honestly, if I were a savvier investor, I would have shorted Trump’s stock long ago. As it is, I’ll have to settle for placing an over/under on how many top secret documents and Mason jars full of enriched uranium the FBI will eventually remove from his Bedminster, New Jersey, golf resort.
Or else I’ll just sue every time someone is mean to me. That seems like as good a money-making venture as any.
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Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.