Monday saw disgraced (and four times-indicted) former President Donald Trump testifying in a New York courtroom—and reportedly losing his mind. His legal team has resigned itself to the defense that they are all being terribly persecuted by a biased judge, throwing tantrums and lying about the proceedings outside of the courthouse during breaks, highlighting the need for Trump’s ongoing criminal trials to be televised and set the record straight.
Thankfully, images and sketches came out of the courtroom today that told the story of a corrupt con man telling tall tales about his wealth to people not interested in being lied to.
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words, so let us put some in photo captions for a man whose use of words is like an illegible blunt object to the sentient among us.
I call these two sketches: I’m a little teapot, short and stout.
Here is Trump being questioned by Kevin Wallace of the New York Attorney General's Office.
[“I moved on her like a bitch.”]
[No, your Honor. The state does not need a body language expert.]
This courtroom sketch has a very Edvard Munch feeling to it, and I suspect being stuck in a room with Trump might make anyone feel like an emotionally tortured Norwegian expressionist painter.
And here’s Mr. Stamina!
At the end of the day, Trump came out to speak with reporters and had this bit of jibber-jabber to share.
Please add some captions to today’s festivities! What are we celebrating, you may be asking? A wealthy and corrupt official is going through the legal process like a regular Joe, and that is a rare step toward justice.