Every American vividly remembers where they were and what they were doing on 9/11. Every American but one, apparently—and he would very much like to be your next president.
Florida Gov. and unofficial White House hopeful Ron DeSantis sat down with Piers Morgan a few days ago to familiarize himself with everyday human interlocution and ensure he’s photographed at least once with someone who’s less charismatic than Ron DeSantis. And that happened, sure.
But so did this:
NARRATOR: “It was the beginning of a school day. A beautiful September morning at an elite private school. The teacher? A young Ivy League graduate. At some point, just after 8:46, the room goes quiet. Perhaps some got a call on their cellphone. Perhaps another teacher burst in with the news. Like all of us, every person in that room remembers exactly where they were on 9/11. All of us except Ron DeSantis.”
MORGAN: “Where were you on 9/11?”
DESANTIS: “You know, I was, um, I think I’d just graduated college and was kind of not a care in the world and all of a sudden, boom, you know, it happened.”
He thinks he’d just graduated college? As in, he doesn’t know for sure?
All Americans who are old enough to remember the Kennedy assassination know exactly what they were doing when they heard the news. Ditto the first moon landing. And that time Tootie smoked pot on The Facts of Life. (I’m pretty sure that happened—though, to be fair, I’ve never been able to get through a full episode without literal bushelsful of weed.) And you can bet that every American over 30 remembers precisely what they were doing when they first heard about the 9/11 terror attacks.
But Ron DeSantis? Nothin’.
Oddly enough, I know what Ron DeSantis was doing during 9/11, because I just Googled it. He was a teacher at Darlington School, a private academy in Rome, Georgia, during the 2001-02 school year. So presumably he was at the school—most likely reading The Pet Goat in the teachers’ lounge. But only Ron DeSantis can say for sure. Or not. Guess the events of that day didn’t have the same impact on everyone.
Of course, if you think DeSantis’ answer was really weird, you’re not alone. MSNBC’s Mehdi Hasan recently discussed the DeSantis-Morgan interview with Stuart Stevens, a political consultant and former strategist for Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign. Stevens was gobsmacked, to say the least.
Watch:
HASAN: “Stuart, how is it possible that the man who wants to be the next Republican president of the United States can’t remember where he was on 9/11?”
STEVENS: “Well, I guess it’s better than Donald Trump, who made up a story that he was at 9/11, ground zero. But this is a very weird interview. … Why is he doing an interview with Piers Morgan, a guy most noted for gun control, in a Republican primary? You know, all of this sort of just reeks of not being ready for primetime. There’s a lot of Rick Perry in Ron DeSantis, in my mind—Rick Perry in 2012. A big-state governor, a lot of hoopla, a lot of people want to invent him. If you read The National Review they’re just trying desperately to invent something that’s not there. And then you get out there and what do you got? I mean, the leap from running for governor and running for president is so vast. It’s really unimaginable by most staffs and most candidates, and I think that’s what you’re seeing here.”
So what gives? Is it possible DeSantis didn’t want to admit he once taught other human beings something other than how to speak fluent asshole? Because that might be perceived as, you know, woke. Or is something else going on here?
If this were an episode of The Americans instead of the harrowing work of Russia-themed fiction we’re currently living in, you’d have to wonder where he’s making his dead drops. Or maybe he can’t remember 9/11 because he was already freeze-dried and ensconced in Rigelian placental fluid for his trip to Earth.
Who knows? But this shit’s not normal. And while “not normal” is de rigueur in today’s GOP, this is the kind of not normal that really gives one pause.
In fact, it’s downright laughable.
Hmm. Looks like the Earth-hominid laughing lessons haven’t quite taken yet. Don’t worry, Ron. You’ll get there. Next stop, the White House.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.