“The Best Idea We Ever Had...”
Happy National Park Week. Yellowstone was #1 in 1872 (Thank you, U.S. Grant), and we've been adding 'em ever since. And you know what else we've added? A Native American Secretary of the Interior, who’s logging some impressive mileage during her tenure:
Below the fold, a few Monday moments of zen, courtesy of our National Parks…
You can follow Secretary Haaland’s travels on twitter here, and keep up to speed via the Interior Department’s press room here.
"The establishment of the National Park Service is justified by considerations of good
administration, of the value of natural beauty as a National asset, and of the
effectiveness of outdoor life and recreation in the production of good citizenship."
— Theodore Roosevelt —
"The parks do not belong to one state or to one section. The Yosemite, the
Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon are national properties in which every citizen has a
vested interest; they belong as much to the man of Massachusetts, of Michigan,
of Florida, as they do to the people of California, of Wyoming, and of Arizona."
— Stephen Mather, NPS director 1917-1929 —
“Every national park has its own unique story to tell, yet so much of our nation’s shared
heritage can be found in the towering forests and vast desert expanses that make up
our National Park System. The outdoors has also proven to be a welcome refuge
during the past year of the pandemic. I encourage everyone to enjoy the beauty and
wonder of our national parks safely and responsibly.”
— Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland —
Please note that the C&J kiddie pool is not considered an official national park. But the paperwork has been submitted. Now comes Step 2: convincing Kos to stop un-submitting it.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 24, 2023
Note: Fox News wins $787 million from Dominion Voting Systems. Details tonight only on Fox News.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til International Workers' Day: 7
Days 'til the 14th annual Taste of India in Norfolk, Virginia: 5
Mortgage delinquencies for March, a 15% drop from February and the first time it's dropped below 3 percent: 2.92%
Initial unemployment claims for the week ending April 15, up a bit but still the lowest since 1974: 245,000
Official number of mass killings in the first 111 days of 2023, taking 88 lives: 17
Percent of Americans polled by CBS News who say current generations do and do not, respectively, have an obligation to protect the environment for future generations: 73%, 27%
Percent chance that top executives in the fossil fuel industry gave a damn that Saturday was Earth Day: 0%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Meanwhile, in Ukraine…
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CHEERS to starting out with an easy layup. Today is “National Pigs in a Blanket Day.” Or as it's also known: “Nap time at Mar-A-Lago.”
CHEERS to defying expectations. It would've been just like the Roberts court—and a Hall of Fame-worthy Friday news dump—to wait until after quitting time to release a ruling that upheld that wacko Texas judge's ruling neutering the FDA and banning the abortion pill mifepristone in all 50 states. But apparently they started drinking early and were in a happy enough mood to toss a bone to the concept of reproductive freedom:
The court blocked a decision that had thrown nationwide access to abortion medication into jeopardy earlier this month, but in doing so sent the case back to an appeals court. With the legal battle set to resume there next month, Democrats on Friday highlighted the fight that lies ahead. […]
The Biden administration, which filed a request in a federal appeals court last week to block the ruling, welcomed the Supreme Court's order, with the president saying Kacsmaryk's decision "would have undermined FDA’s medical judgment and put women’s health at risk."
Vice President Kamala Harris, who has served as the White House's top messenger amid the legal battle over the abortion drug, called mifepristone "essential medication," and said the administration was committed to "defending the FDA’s ability to approve safe and effective drugs."
And what of mighty Republican leaders Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy? Knowing that abortion is a campaign issue that will lead to the defeat of many of their candidates next year, they bravely and emphatically said…nothing. If only the cat got their tongue like that all the time.
CHEERS to a second bite at the rotten apple. If you let out a primal scream when Dominion Voting Systems announced it was taking a wad of cash off of Fox Corp's hands to settle their lawsuit minus an apology of any kind from the America-killing propaganda machine over its 2020 election gaslighting, you weren't alone. So now here comes the next defamation lawsuit against Fox, this time from the Smartmatic Elections Company. While everyone expects them to settle in the same way, Smartmatic attorney Eric Connolly says hold on, we're not Lucy with the football:
“They are looking for the vindication of a jury verdict in their favor. That was their intention when they filed this lawsuit. That is their intention today.
Smartmatic spent over 20 years building a global reputation as being one of the very best election technology companies in the world. And in order for them to get back to where they were before this all started, where they can win the contracts that they’re now losing, they need to get an apology, they need to get a full retraction, because they’re in that business for the long haul.
This is a family-owned business that spent their whole lives building this.”
And there's another freshly-added incentive to go all the way: having seen the response to Dominion's disappointing decision to take the money and run, Smartmatic now knows that if they truly hold Fox's feet to the fire—on-air apologies and all—they become instant national heroes, with sweets and flowers, ticker-tape parades, and immortality in history textbooks. Slaying Fox News—what a legend. As Rachel Maddow likes to say: Watch this space.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to getting emphysema at 35,000 feet. My mom was a smoker, and I'll never forget flying with my parents and having to sit at the back of the plane because that was where the smokers sat so they wouldn't "bother" the non-smokers sitting in front of them. Uh huh, sure:
What were we thinking?!! Thankfully the ban on airborne puffery went into effect 35 years ago today. So now all we have to worry about is engines blowing apart, increases in climate-change-related turbulence, catching a lung-incapacitating virus, red-hatted anti-maskers, proselytizing right-wing Christian bible humpers, seat kickers and baby screamers. In other words: God bless Amtrak.
CHEERS to today's edition of Gee, I Wonder How Russia's War On Ukraine Is Going. Courtesy of the BBC:
A Russian Sukhoi-34 fighter-jet has accidentally bombed the Russian city of Belgorod, around 40km (25 miles) from the border with Ukraine. The bomb left a 20m (60ft) crater and caused an explosion so large it blew a car on to the roof of a nearby shop.
And Radar Online:
Vladimir Putin was forced to cancel this year’s Victory Day parade due to “embarrassing tank shortages” amid Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, RadarOnline.com has learned. … While the Kremlin announced the Victory Day parades were canceled for security reasons, as well as harsh weather forecasts, Russian sources revealed Putin pulled the plug "because [Russia] simply [has] not enough functioning tanks to run up and down” Moscow’s Red Square.
This has been today's edition of Gee, I Wonder How Russia's War On Ukraine Is Going.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 24, 2013
JEERS to weapons of mass neglect. Meanwhile, down in West, Texas (conveniently located in east Texas), residents are recovering from a giant fertilizer plant explosion that registered "WTF" on the Richter Scale. This is what austerity and fealty to capitalism-above-safety gets ya:
There were no sprinklers. No firewalls. No water deluge systems. Safety inspections were rare at the fertilizer company in West, Texas, that exploded and killed at least 14 people this week.
This is not unusual.
The facility's safety plan said that there was no risk of a fire or explosion occurring at the plant. Management would love to show it to you, but it got incinerated in the fire and explosion at the plant. In the words of the state's illustrious governor, who is now begging for aid (which he should get) from the tyrannical federal government: "Can't. Sorry. Oops."
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a big eye in the sky. 33 years ago today, the Hubble space telescope, now eclipsed by its more impressive companion the Webb telescope, was placed into orbit by the crew of the Space Shuttle Discovery. And instead of birthday cake and ice cream, we’re serving something a little more tasty: a tasty image of the Crab Nebula...
When the early Hubble photos were revealed to we Earthlings, Democrats saw the wonder of an evolving universe and the hope of discovering intelligent life one day and harnessing our collective strengths for the good of the cosmos. Republicans saw potential fracking fields and the hope of discovering millions of new suckers on which to foist reverse-mortgages, political fundraising scams, and unscrupulous payday lenders. Eh. Potato, Puhtahto, right?
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
”If I'm convinced that Bill in Portland Maine is capable of greatness, Cheers and Jeers doesn’t quite get him there, but splashing in a prestigious kiddie pool will surely help to create more such opportunities in the future. ”
—Kathy Fennessy
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