I think this story is best told if you know a little about me. I’m a 57 year old native Californian living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I am a former City Councilmember & Mayor of my home town, I am Jewish, I have two grown children, and I’m in a poker group of 8 men. Ultimately, I hope this diary is seen, read, and responded to, because I’m very much asking for your help.
You see, of the men in that poker group, only one is a Republican, and I don’t know if he is voting for Trump. Do I ask him? Or do I simply leave it alone? California mail ballots have arrived. He may have already voted!
This man, I’ll call him Joe, has long needled us about his views on such-and-such policy. And during the Trump years, although Joe called Trump a terrible man, he “liked his policies.” Oh, we’ve all heard that before: it’s all about the policies, isn’t it?
The only time I asked him if he voted for Trump, it was after the 2021 insurrection. He claimed he did not. And although I believe his wife is driving it — and left to himself he wouldn’t be — he’s very religious. Christian religious. Evangelical religious. Joe is also wealthy, (I’d estimate his net worth at about $12M to $15M), and recently retired. Joe also makes the most inappropriate & sexualized jokes around us, his poker buddies. It’s sometimes uncomfortable. My guess is that he is repressed, but that’s not really my business or even the point of this story. I don’t know if he told me the truth in his answer.
This election cycle feels very different to me than every other one I’ve ever participated in. That is, it’s consequential in many unique ways. From a policy perspective, much is on the ballot that is of interest to most of us here at Daily Kos. You know, things like abortion, climate change, a fair tax code, sensible gun laws, and an immigration system that makes sense, etc. But with Trump on the ballot, he can actually win again. And this time, the man seems to be our worst nightmares times a factor of three. Because also on the ballot, is a slide into autocracy. A revenge tour. A systemic rounding up of immigrants. Antisemitism. Hatred, cruelty, bigotry, etc. Trump has signaled or flat out told us how he would handle current events, and quite frankly, it’s terrifying.
I mention I’m Jewish because Trump has recently said, "If I don’t win this election.. the Jewish people would have a lot to do with that if that happens." I can't believe how often I have to say "Fuck you" to Donald Trump. For those confused, this comment is completely antisemitic. This is dividing people into "good Jews" and "bad Jews." This is laying the groundwork for a potential election loss and saying that he will blame the Jews if he loses. This is going to lead to more violence against Jewish people. This is how he divides us, folks. He has his own militia and I’m sure many of those skinheads would love to have permission (and the support of our Justice Department) to kill Jews.
My sister who was married to a man who was brought to the United States from Guatemala for 30+ years (and only became a citizen after marrying her) has two children, aged 30 and 26. She said that if Trump wins, she will insist that they both carry their birth certificate around with them, so they aren’t accidently rounded up. You know, because they look Hispanic or something. This is nuts.
For me, a vote for Trump, even in California where he won’t win, is a moral lapse on the part of the voter. After the events around January 6, this election is no longer about Trump’s character. It’s about ours. I can’t be friends anymore with someone who is willfully unable to see the danger Trump poses to our nation and to my family...and quite frankly, me.
But I don’t know how to ask. Joe is a stand up guy. If I ever needed anything, he’d be over in a minute to help out. If he asked me for help, I’d be there too. But, after many long conversations with my wife, I have said if Joe votes for Trump, I will have to drop out of the poker group that I’ve been in for years. I just don’t know how to ask him. Or honestly, if I should just leave it alone and believe that he didn’t vote for Trump in 2020, and that he won’t do so again.
What would you do? How would you handle it? Please and thank you.