Moving Day
Well, we finally did it. Tossed our meager belongings into the ox cart, plugged the holes in our shoes with rags, adjusted our Napoleon hat, and said goodbye to politics on Twitter without looking back. Elon Musk and his Russian trolls can officially kiss our grits. Hello, Bluesky.
With more than a million people joining every day now, including nearly all the folks I followed at the other place, this was a no-brainer. I was actually pretty good at avoiding the MAGA face eaters over there, but one wrong turn could easily uncover a cesspool of junior high-level hate and ignorance. Plus, of course, the site’s owner is pure atherosclerotic evil.
Not much to say about the sign-up process except it’s easy peasy. Took about two minutes. If you join up and want to follow boring old me, flap your wings and click here. Drop a C&J mention in my feed and I’ll follow back.
It’s kind of exciting starting over on social media. And without the garbage peddlers, all’s I can say is: so far so good.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, November 18, 2024
Note: I fell off the turnip truck yesterday. So today I am open to any and all offers from bamboozlers, hucksters, and grifters. Please have a seat and wait 'til your number is called. I'm especially interested in buying some bridges and/or non-fungible tokens.
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By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 10
Days 'til the New York State Craft Brewers Festival in Syracuse: 5
Drop in drug overdose deaths between June 2023 and June 2024, from 108,000 to 97,000 according to new CDC numbers: 14%
Drop in overdose deaths in Ohio and Virginia: 30%, 24%
Initial unemployment claims announced last week, down from the previous week and still the lowest in 50 years: 217,000
Year-over-year increase in retail sales in October: 2.8%
Estimated number of pumpkin pies served on Thanksgiving: 50 million
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In Goochland, Virginia…Saved!!!
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CHEERS to classing up the joint. The 2024 elections may have sucked elephant balls, but one of the bright spots was the addition of a half dozen new Democratic U.S. Senators who will soon take their place in the chamber known as, um—[checks notes]—the U.S. Senate. One of the particularly welcome newbies is former congressman Andy Kim, who replaces the old New Jersey Democrat who got swept up in an international let's-hoard-gold-bars-in-our-underpants corruption scandal. While Andy's being fitted for his toga, let's consult the mighty Wikipedia and find out what makes this guy tick:
» Born in Boston to Korean immigrant parents, and grew up in South Jersey. 42 years old.
The iconic photo of then-Congressman Kim cleaning up after the 2021 Trump insurrection. The Smithsonian now has his blue suit in its collection.
» Graduate of the University of Chicago (political science) and Oxford (international relations). Rhodes Scholar.
» Civilian adviser to the State Department in Afghanistan under President Obama
» First Democratic congressman of Korean descent, serving three terms in the House starting in 2019
» Member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus
» Married to a tax attorney. Two sons.
» Presbyterian
And this little tidbit: "One of Kim's passions is making bagels, and he has said that were he not a politician, he would have started his own bagel shop." I guess that explains why he was so effective at loxing up the Jewish vote.
CHEERS to losing your shit. Well, it finally happened. The women who won their defamation suit against "America's Most Garbage Mayor" Rudy Giuliani have now taken possession of some of his precious baubles and trinkets:
[Giuliani lawyer] Joseph Cammarata said in a letter filed late on Friday in Manhattan federal court that the trove of watches and a ring were delivered by FedEx to a bank in Atlanta, Georgia, in the morning.
—The Daily Show
The 1980 Mercedes-Benz SL500 was turned over at an address in Hialeah, Florida, and an undisclosed amount of funds from Giuliani’s Citibank accounts were also surrendered to the two women who won the judgment, according to the letter.
A jury previously ruled that Giuliani owes Freeman and Moss around $150m for spreading lies about them after the 2020 election though Giuliani is appealing the ruling. Liman authorized the two women to immediately begin selling the assets.
The first thing I'd do with that undisclosed amount of funds? Rent a steamroller.
JEERS to the hunchback of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Speaking of Republican shits, 51 years ago this week, in 1973, floundering President Richard Nixon uttered his immortal words: "People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."
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And to prove he wasn't a crook, Gerald Ford shielded him with a "full and unconditional pardon" after Nixon resigned rather than face impeachment for crooky things like high crimes and misdemeanors. Trust me: the less you think about it, the more it makes sense.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to drinking the Kool-Aid (as in, really drinking the Kool-Aid, except perhaps not, which I'll explain in a moment). There's a paragraph in the late Randy Shilts's brilliant book, The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk, that reveals the Rev. Jim Jones' influence in San Francisco politics (Mayor Moscone actually made him chairman of the city Housing Authority, if you can believe that) during the mid-70s, before he moved his sheeple to Guyana:
"Make sure you're always nice to the Peoples Temple," [Milk] admonished [campaign volunteer Tory Hartmann].
“Weird and dangerous.”
"If they ask you to do something, do it, and then send them a note thanking them for asking you to do it. They're weird and they're dangerous, and you never want to be on their bad side."
No shit. Today is the 46th anniversary of the infamous Jonestown massacre. At least 900 followers drank grape Flavor Aid (not Kool-Aid) laced with cyanide. Time's cover said it all: Cult of Death. By the way, what's the difference between the Jones cult and the Republican party? What Republicans want to force down our throat will kill all of us.
CHEERS to today's international roundup. This is Bill in Portland Maine at the local desk and now let's toss it over to my colleague Bill in Portland Maine at the international desk. Thanks, Bill. In Gaza, thinks are pretty shitty. Syria remains shitty, as does Russia, Ukraine, and the now apocalyptic, battle-scarred wasteland known as Sudan. Germany's doing okay, I guess. Iceland is a giant volcano waiting to erupt. Britain is having a bit of trouble drowning their economy in the bathtub. Hungary? Shitty. Chechnya? Shitty. North Korea? Shitty shit shit. France is…France. South America has too many people running around topless, and now Argentina has a chainsaw-wielding Elon Musk clone as president. Australia is traveling in a fried-out Kombi. But New Zealand is running on all cylinders and shaking their heads as they watch the rest of us circle the drain. Back to you, Bill. Thanks Bill. We'll be right back with Bill in Portland Maine at the sports desk after this pause to sell you Medicare Advantage plans, reverse mortgages, happy focus-group-tested PR messages from Big Oil, and a gizmo that has no practical function but you can get two for only ten bucks at Walgreens for a limited time only.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 18, 2014
CHEERS to the winner of the universe. It's over. These two win:
Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new Eucalyptus Czar.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the playthings of our lives. Lost in all the hubbub over the elections and Starbucks giving OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BABY JESUS the cold shoulder on its CHSIRTmas cups is this major breaking news. I'm speaking, of course, about the 2024 inductees into the National Toy Hall of Fame. Three winners this year:
My Little Pony Introduced in the 1980s, the My Little Pony line of mini-horses encourages children in traditional forms of doll play—fantasy, storytelling, hair grooming, and collecting. The small pastel ponies have come in more than a thousand varieties, all with elongated tails and manes made to be brushed. My Little Pony became the most popular of the mini doll lines between 1983 and 1992.
Another worthy class.
Phase 10 In 1982, Black game inventor and entrepreneur Ken Johnson introduced Phase 10. The rummy-style card game challenged players to collect various groups of cards to complete 10 phases, in sequential order, before their opponents. The game took off, spawning sequels, variations, and a popular mobile app game. Today, it is one of the bestselling card games in the world, second only to National Toy Hall of Fame inductee Uno.
Transformers Hasbro, Inc. first offered Transformers, a toy line of action figures that change their shapes, in the mid-1980s. Marketed with an elaborate backstory supported by a Marvel comic book series, a cartoon television series, animated movies, electronic games, consumer goods, and even its own cereal, Transformers have remained popular ever since. Their popularity has been fueled by additional movies, television shows, and comic books. For more than 40 years now, the appeal of Transformers is, in part, that the toys do what kids do anyway—change the toy to suit the needs of play.
Still shut out of getting their proper recognition: Lawn Darts, Baby’s First Experimental Uranium Lab, and the Acme Leaded Paint By Numbers set. Maybe next year!
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“I really want to spend these nine shows with the most generous, encouraging, welcoming, passionate, excitable fans, so we came to see you in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool."
—Taylor Swift
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