Potent Quotables
This week's pearls…
“Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a president and senators and congressmen and government officials, but the voters of this country.”
—Franklin Roosevelt
”We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”
—Goethe
”I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
“The last time Trump was in office, organizers fought and won to save health care for millions of Americans, take back the House, flip the Senate, and win the White House. The far right wants us to feel powerless. Extremists are counting on apathy, cynicism, and heartbreak to be their rocket fuel. They are counting on us to point fingers at each other and lose trust in our ability to make change. I absolutely refuse to give them the satisfaction.”
—Senator Elizabeth Warren
”It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you place the blame.”
—Oscar Wilde
Don’t approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.
—Yiddish proverb
”Four years ago, we faced unprecedented crises. President Biden understood the magnitude of the challenge and used the tools of government to meet the moment, including an infrastructure package that is transforming our nation. It will be remembered as this century's Big Deal.”
—Secretary Pete Buttigieg
”Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
—Martin Mull
“If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”
—Alice Roosevelt Longworth
”Rolls-Royce announced today that it is recalling all Rolls-Royce cars made after 1966 because of faulty nuts behind the steering wheel.”
—Walter Cronkite
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, November 20, 2024
Note: Christmas is coming but the geese aren't getting fat this year because they finally figured out what happens to fat geese when Christmas is coming. Film at 11.
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By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til Red Planet Day: 8
Days 'til Methuen Festival of Trees in Massachusetts: 3
Percent increase in the price of butter and meat in Russia over the last year: 25%
Housing Market Confidence Index announced by the National Association of Home Builders, up from 43 in October: 46
Date on which the U.S. government runs out of money: 12/20/24
Triple-A's estimate of the number of Americans who will travel more than 50 miles for Thanksgiving: 80 million
Current average price of gas: $3.07
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 4 false prophets and 2 very smart space people). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In Palmdale, California...Saved!!!
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CHEERS to the scrapper from Scranton. Happy Birthday (and many blessings on your camels) to America's 46th President, whose way with words—intentional and otherwise—is a thing to behold:
"There's only three things [Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11."
Happy Birthday, Joe!
“The only thing I know is I ain't changing my brand. I know what I believe. I'm confident in what I know. And I'm gonna say it. And if folks like it, wonderful. If they don't like it, I understand.”
"You ever been to a caucus? No you haven't. You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier."
“Don't tell me what you value—show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value.”
“My dad used to have an expression: 'It’s the lucky person who gets up in the morning, puts both feet on the floor, knows what they are about to do, and thinks it still matters.'”
And the best thing anyone ever said to Donald Trump's face, and boy do I envy Joe for being the one to do it:
“Will you shut up, man?"
Joe turns 82 today—and that's no malarkey. But it is a BFD.
CHEERS to the Democratic class of 2024. Among the bright spots—and there were more than a handful of bright spots—from election day was the elevation of six fine Democrats to the U.S. Senate. This morning we focus on the force of nature in Maryland who defeated Republican Larry Hogan, once an occupant of the top spot among most popular governors of any state. Via Wikipedia, here's what you need to know about his vanquisher Angela Alsobrooks, based on what I insist you need to know:
» Born 1971 in Suitland, Maryland to blue collar parents. 53 years old.
Congratulations, Senator-elect Alsobrooks.
» BA from Duke, JD from the University of Maryland.
» First female Black county executive (Prince George's County) in Maryland history. Also served as state's attorney of the county.
» One daughter, who she raised as a single mom.
» Baptist.
» Alsobrooks is the fourth female Black U.S. senator overall, following Carol Moseley Braun of Illinois, and Kamala Harris and Laphonza Butler of California.
Along with being fitted for a toga, Senate-elect Alsobrooks will receive an official lapel pin, an office, staff, and complimentary 16-ounce can of Ted Cruz repellant.
JEERS to heated arguments. The COP29 climate summit in Baku, Azerbaijan is in full swing as humanity tries to save the planet from the fossil fuel industry. Let's lower our hidden 20-pound microphone from the ceiling over this gaggle of nattily-dressed lobbyists and see what they're talking about this morning:
"Hi, I'm from the oil and gas industry. You?"
"I build fracking equipment, Here's my business card."
"Hey, guys. Anyone in need of service from my company Drill Here, Drill Now Enterprises?"
"Nah. We just signed a contract with Tar Sands 'R' Us. But do you know of a good crisis PR firm that can make negative publicity disappear when we fuck up and ruin a huge patch of wetland or destroy a town?"
"Yeah, you want Harvey over there. I'll introduce you later at the Solar's For Sissies panel discussion."
"Hey, everyone! You think we'll be able to keep global warming under the 1.5 degree Celsius threshold? It's really important that we do!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Get outta here, tree hugger. This is no place for you!"
On the bright side, the sound quality from our 20-pound microphone is…[chef's kiss].
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to the gift that kept on giving for nearly a century. One year ago this week we got the sad news from Plains, Georgia that First Lady Rosalynn Carter died at the age of 96. Born and bestowed with that gorgeous first name in 1927, she was one of our nation's dwindling number of remaining Coolidge babies. And, boy, did she earn that long life:
Rosalynn Carter was widely regarded for her political shrewdness, drawing particular praise for her keen electoral instincts, down-to-earth appeal, and work on behalf of the White House, including serving as an envoy to Latin America
The proverbial wind beneath his wings.
She devoted herself to several social causes in the course of her public life, including programs that supported health care resources, human rights, social justice and the needs of elderly people. “Twenty-five years ago, we did not dream that people might someday be able actually to recover from mental illnesses,” Carter said at a mental health symposium in 2003. “Today it is a very real possibility.” […]
Jimmy and Rosalynn were the longest-married presidential couple in U.S. history. The Carters earned admiration for their humanitarian projects after they left the White House. They were closely linked with Habitat for Humanity, considered by the charity to be “tireless advocates, active fundraisers and some of our best hands-on construction volunteers.”
Her legacy will be easy to remember: Rosalynn Carter was the Rosalynn Carter of Rosalynn Carters.
JEERS to easy marks. Here's today's update on the plight of the MAGA cult and their grifter overlords:
The number of older Americans who report losing more than $100,000 to fraud in a given year has more than tripled since 2020, according to the Federal Trade Commission, a trend that experts say represents a grave and growing threat to older adults’ financial security.
This has been today's update on the MAGA cult. Stay tuned for an EXCLUSIVE OFFER of ONE MILLION TRUMP BUCKS for the low, low price of only $100,000. (Plus tax.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 20, 2014
CHEERS to God's little inspector. America has been naughty lately. So naughty that the Pope said to us, "Don't make me come over there!" And did we listen to him? Nooooo. So get ready, America, because the Pope is comin' over here with the Good Book in one hand and lightning bolts ("Tasers from Heaven") in the other. Clean your plates, kiddies. If you thought Santa was obsessive about making lists…….
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And just one more…
CHEERS to headin' down the home stretch. A sure sign of the impending demise of 2024. Over weekend we noticed that the constellation Orion is hovering low on the horizon after dark:
Orion, which is located on the celestial equator, is one of the most prominent and recognizable constellations in the sky and can be seen throughout the world. [...]
Alnilam, Mintaka and Alnitak, which form Orion’s belt, are the most prominent stars in the Orion constellation. Betelgeuse, the second brightest star in Orion, establishes the right shoulder of the hunter. Bellatrix serves as Orion's left shoulder. [...]
A rather mind-blowing graphic, courtesy of NASA.
With one exception, all of the main stars in Orion are bright young blue giants or super giants, ranging in distance from Bellatrix (243 light-years) to Alnilam (1,359 light-years). The Orion Nebula is farther away than any of the naked eye stars at a distance of about 1,600 light-years. One light-year is the distance light travels in a single year, about 6 trillion miles (10 trillion kilometers).
For the rest of the fall and winter it will be our nightly companion when we take the dog out to go pee. If tradition holds—and it does or else it wouldn’t be a tradition—from here on out the rest of the year will be a blur and then...[Blink!]...welcome to 2025. Keep some aloe on hand for the windburn.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Consuming a cocoa drink rich in Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool algae can mitigate the negative effects of high-fat foods on the vascular system during stress.
—SciTechDaily
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