On the night of the election, nearly 4 weeks ago already, I turned off the TV at about 10:00pm in California. It was clear Harris would lose and there was really no hope remaining to continue watching the results. In the room was my wife and two other couples we had invited over. As the television powered down, the sound in the house was a stunned and shocking silence. After a brief minute or two, I said, “Well, we seem to be heading to a place we’ve been before. Let’s not talk about the election, per se. Let’s just check in with one another. How are you feeling?”
And for the next hour, until everyone decided it was time to leave, we took turns talking about our emotions and fears and began a conversation on how we hope we behave in the next four years. All agreed that whatever will come down the pike, very little of it will be easy to handle. So how are we going to get through it? The consensus: together.
We will get through it together.
Since that night, I have been remarkably calm. I believe I’m still in some phase of grief, but I honestly couldn’t tell you which one. Maybe acceptance. It is what it is and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I’ve allowed myself very little “post game analysis.” I have been leaving that for the experts who got it so spectacularly wrong the first time. As of this moment, I haven’t turned on any form of broadcast “news.” No MSNBC, CNN, NPR, 60 Minutes, or any kind of radio reporting. I haven’t listened to political podcasts. And I haven’t read any articles in my newspapers and journalistic websites. Yes I see them daily, still, but I stop at the headlines. While driving, I have found niche stations on Sirius XM...and even the comedy channels. These changes alone have helped me keep my temperature down. This has been a good thing for me.
The best explanation I have come up with for describing what happened is this: Our nation had an open book written exam (the vote), and collectively, we failed. That is, we had 8 years to really see and understand the character and qualities of one of our candidates, and despite those attributes being lacking, we chose him anyway. As an American, even if you didn’t vote for the guy, he is still “our” president. And if he is “our” president, then “we” as a country, elected him. We did this. We did it to ourselves and by extension, the friggin’ whole world. I tried hard to prevent it from happening, and I failed. Many people tried. It didn’t seem to matter in the end. All of this makes me incredibly sad, because I truly believe our country is precious and it needs quality leaders. This guy, this aberration of an American leader, is a disgrace. As an individual who believes in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, I am also terrified for humanity. The next four years will likely be monumentally consequential, and unfortunately, not for the better.
I have started a few projects, some of which will take me many many months to complete. I have already begun renewing old, but still solid, relationships. I have looked into finding my spirituality. At 57, I have begun thinking about how last third of my life will be lived. I have a lot of love to give and I have a lot of laughter to share. I would appreciate it if I can do it with you.
