I could not make this up.

I’m an old farm woman living in redneck Indiana, and I dress like a farmer in cold weather — jeans, flannel shirt, jacket, hat and boots.  Recently, I was at the local farm and hunting supply store to get horse feed when I needed to use the bathroom.  When I came out, a guy came out of the men’s room behind me and said “hey, dude, you were in the wrong bathroom”.

I turned around to see a 30ish-year-old with his winter beard, camo jacket and obligatory 2nd amendment hat.  I replied “I’m 70 years old. I think I know which bathroom to use.”  He then decides to double-down, gives me the up and down once over and says “So, you’re what a dyke looks like”.

At this point, I almost laughed, but decided to play to his ignorance, and said “Richard, a dike is a small dam that used to hold back water. If I could hold back water, I wouldn’t have been in the bathroom”.

Silence. Confused, finally he says “My name’s not Richard.”, to which I replied, “Really? You look like a Dick to me.”

He shrugged and started to walk away, then said “No, I’m Donnie.  Dick’s my twin brother”.

I almost asked if they had a sister named Karen.