“Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel" opened with the host packing up his office to leave the country because he fears a second Donald Trump administration. Kimmel has been a vocal—and funny—critic of convicted felon and now President-elect Donald Trump, and suspects himself to be on Trump’s list of enemies.
Kimmel’s sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, comes upon the scene and pleads for him to stay saying, “You have a very important voice.” But after convincing Kimmel to do the show, Guillermo reveals he’s heading back to Mexico.
“More than half of this country voted for the criminal who's planning to pardon himself for his crimes,” Kimmel says in his opening monologue.
“I guess this election wasn't rigged. It's weird, though, right? He said it would be rigged,” Kimmel adds, pointing out that after years of election-fraud claims—and even Trump’s attempts to say the election was rigged on Election Day—he and his MAGA party are conspicuously silent about it all now.
"Donald Trump is like the emperor from Star Wars,” Kimmel jokes. “He's all evil and he keeps coming back with no reasonable explanation whatsoever.”
"Let's be honest. It was a terrible night last night,” Kimmel continues. “It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hardworking immigrants who make this country go, for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech. It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors who rely on Social Security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the truth and democracy and decency.”
But it’s deeper than that, Kimmel explains. “And it was a terrible night for everyone who voted against them. And guess what? It is a bad night for everyone who voted for him, too. You just don't realize it yet."
"But it was a really good night for Putin and for polio,” Kimmel reminds the audience. “And for lovable billionaires like Elon Musk and the bros up in Silicon Valley and all the wriggling brain worms who sold what was left of their souls to bow down to Donald Trump."
"My only request to President-elect Trump is that he let me share a prison cell with Taylor Swift. I'm really good at making bracelets, and I think we'd get along just fine,” Kimmel jokes. “We'll see how funny that is in six months.”
Campaign Action
