It turns out owning the libs can be pretty expensive—especially when it entails funneling gobs of cash to a four-time-indicted, self-described crotch-grabber found liable for sexual abuse—all so he can continue humiliating lefties over their blinkered support of whale-murdering windmills.
According to recent campaign disclosures, Donald Trump’s political action committees spent more than $50 million on legal fees in 2023—simply because Trump had previously owned the libs by stealing top secret government documents, attempting to end U.S. democracy, and fraudulently tinkering with business records to conceal a $130,000 payoff to an adult film star (allegedly!). But that’s okay, because this fierce GOP juggernaut, who also runs a fraudulent business, really got the economy moving, having presided over the loss of a whopping 2.9 million jobs while in office.
So it’s abundantly clear why MAGAs are giving money hand over fist to their modern-day Herbert Hoover. What’s less clear is whether those donors know where their money is going.
Politico:
Two of Donald Trump’s political action committees spent an astonishing $29 million in legal consulting and legal fees in the second half of last year, leaving only $5 million in his leadership PAC’s coffers.
The expenditures provide a stark illustration of how Trump’s courtroom issues have not just defined his campaign but begun to overwhelm it. In total, the former president spent roughly $50 million in donor funds on legal expenses over the course of 2023.
All told his web of committees, in aggregate, spent roughly $210 million during the 2023 calendar year while raising a bit shy of $200 million over the same period, a POLITICO analysis of campaign finance filings found. The political operation still entered 2024 with a surplus due to strong fundraising in prior years. But spending at a higher rate than they have been able to take in so far is nonetheless a red flag heading into the general election year.
Really? Is defending Trump from special counsels, attorneys general, and his own sputtering id really that expensive? And, more to the point, is there any natural limit to Trump fans’ seemingly infinite gullibility?
In case you hadn’t noticed, a foul wind is blowing across this great nation of ours, and it smells conspicuously like Axe Body Spray. Because the moment Trump’s feral bro army polishes off their morning Testoster-O’s, they’re looking to make our lives worse—and that means donating actual U.S. currency to their rapidly decomposing candidate’s shambolic revenge campaign.
Don’t believe it? Well, as Politico slyly notes, Trump’s legal troubles are clearly among the biggest drains on his funds, but they’re also his most reliable fundraising lever.
Fair warning: You will facepalm after reading this, so take your glasses off first. And if that means you can’t read it at all, well, all the better for you:
Donations to former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley surged in late August after her standout performance in the first GOP primary debate. The following day, Aug. 24, was her single best online fundraising day of the year.
There was just one problem for Haley: Former President Donald Trump got his mug shot taken in Georgia that same day.
Trump was booked at an Atlanta jail after facing his fourth indictment, this time on conspiracy charges related to his attempts to overturn the 2020 election results. And that image — quickly emblazoned on T-shirts, mugs and other campaign merchandise — fueled a massive fundraising boon for Trump’s campaign.
Trump had his biggest online fundraising day right after Haley — and his brought in nine times as much money as hers had.
Meanwhile, Haley—who, to be fair, is awful, but as far as we know hasn’t confused Trump with Tip O’Neill or sexually assaulted anyone—is actually going on the attack against Trump instead of standing back and hoping that the trans fats do the job for her. On Thursday, Haley said Trump’s profligate legal spending is an outrageous waste of donor funds, and suggested his ongoing cash crunch makes him a much weaker candidate going forward.
“It is unconscionable to me that a candidate would spend $50 million in legal fees,” Haley said on CNN’s “The Lead.” “It explains why he’s not doing many rallies. He doesn’t have the money to do it. It explains why he doesn’t want to get on a debate stage, because he doesn’t want to talk about why he’s doing it.”
Trump’s rallies have definitely dwindled. As the Associated Press reported in September:
Instead of the large-scale rallies that dominated his past runs, he is this time relying on state party events that offer large, friendly audiences at no cost to his political organization, which is facing millions of dollars in legal expenses. Friday's event looked like a typical Trump rally, but was paid for by the state Republican Party. Those in the audience purchased tickets and paid to attend.
In the interview, Haley also implied that Trump’s financial situation was behind his harsh criticism of her in the wake of the New Hampshire primary. Trump, she speculates, is frustrated that she’s staying in the race because he wants all the donor money “going to him [so] he doesn’t have to spend anymore.”
Well, he probably has a point there. But maybe instead of hectoring Haley about continuing her campaign, Trump could just commit more crimes to boost his take. After all, it’s worked like a charm in the past. And with his faithful goofball brigade ready and willing to make it rain, why wouldn’t it work again?
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link.
