Actual question in the "Frequently asked questions" section of the website. Being the Nasty Woman™ that I am, my first thought was, Lucky you. You got a copy that Hair Furor personally fondled.
Lawd have mercy. No, really- if you're out there and listening, please please for the love of You do something about this guy. Neither the plagues of Egypt nor the Great Flood dragged on this long.
The living embodiment of the Seven Deadlies wants to Make America Pray Again.
Dude, we've been praying since at least 2016. You're still harassing us so it's clearly not working. On the other hand, it's no secret that your money troubles also aren't going away; what's a frustrated would-be Dictator On Day One to do?
You team up with an aging country music star and start flogging your own personally endorsed Holy Scriptures.
When selling $399 gold-painted made-in-China high tops isn't quite enough to keep up with all the fines bills constantly landing on you, and being a desperately broke shoe salesman isn't necessarily the image you want to project, and a lot of those legal penalties bills are for, well kinda icky things like defamation and fraud and stuff, it's time to get creative.
Et viola! The Trump Bible.
For the low, low price of just $59.99 you can be the sucker proud owner of the one, the only, Trump-endorsed Bible. Which is totally not going to funnel any proceeds into Danger Yam's pockets. You have their word on it.
"...easy reading experience" and "King James Version" should never appear together in the same sentence.
All of the above items except for the chorus to Greenwood's biggest hit are available free from numerous sources. Come to think of it, the Bible itself is available free, too. You could get all of this stuff apart from the song free and spend your sixty bucks on something actually worthwhile.
The website has lots of pictures of the Tangerine Nightmare, plus pics of what looks like a launch party or something. Those are all Lee Greenwood schmoozing with various Trumpy folk. But not the big guy himself.
Wonder how many of those gilt-edged pages will end up rolled around one of Daddy's discarded Sharpies and used for toots?
"All Americans need a Bible in their home, and I have many. It's my favorite book."- Tinyhands McBonespurs on his love of the Christian scriptures.
This might be Lara. She seems to be filling the role previously held by Ivanka as a sort of spokesmodel/ Official Staff Blonde.
Because nothing evokes the joy of your savior's resurrection like participating in a blasphemous grift.
Just for the literal Hell of it I posed as a willing dupe interested customer. There's other merch available for cultists Patriots-with-a-capital-P to shell out for. Because of course Dear Leader isn't going to see a single dime of it. He just wants to Make America Pay Pray Again.
Check out the swag! A new variation of the famous red hat. Plus a commemorative coin.
I gave them my ex-husband's name (knowing him he's already ordered this crap) and a made-up address in a different town. Plus a fictitious email that I like so much I might want to use it for real someday.*
I added Priority Mail shipping because I'm not a cheap bastard when it comes to getting fleeced. Then I abandoned my cart because I'm not a numskull cultist.
From the Frequently Asked Questions section-
Know who owns CIC Ventures LLC? Hint: their address is a Trump-owned golf course in Florida. In Trump's 2023 financial disclosures he's listed as manager, secretary, president, and treasurer. CIC Ventures LLC also appears on the ugly footwear website.
And what about those sticky pages?!?
Alas, those sticky pages are not in fact evidence that your Bible was personally molested by Sniffles O'Adderall. Bummer.
I'm only surprised that they aren't offering an autographed version signed by Cheeto Jeebus himself. The ones he signed back in 2019 are supposedly going for hundreds if not thousands on eBay.
*apologies to anyone whose actual email this is.
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Thank you for reading. This is an open thread, all topics are welcome.
