Eric Trump draws the short straw

I note that Eric Trump drew the short straw and had to make an appearance in court this morning after it was noted that not one of Don's family members bothered to show up last week to support him.

You can imagine how that family conversation went:

DON: I need someone to show up to court next week to support me. It looks awful, like all of you don't care.

MELANIA: Vee don't care, Donult. You know I am not kumink to that train wreck. Neffur.

JUNIOR: Dad, I---

DON: What did you call me?

JUNIOR: I'm sorry... Mr. President, Kim and I are leaving for Africa tomorrow to shoot endangered species.

IVANKA: Mr. President, I have the kids and---

DON: You have a nanny. You probably don't even know your kids' names.

IVANKA: Don't be silly. There's Joe, Theodore and... And... It's a girl. Weird name...

DON: I never knew your names, either, especially that other girl.

IVANKA: Arabella!

DON: Sounds like some kind of mushroom.

IVANKA: Anyway, I can't be in New York next week. And your other girl is Tiffany.

DON: Right. Looks like it's you, Eric.

ERIC: Why am I always the one that has to do this crap? It's always, "Get Eric to do it!"

DON: Because you're the dumb one.

ERIC: I'm not dumber than my brother!

JUNIOR: Are too.

ERIC: Am not!

JUNIOR: Are too!

ERIC: Am not!

DON: Shut up you two morons. Eric, be at court Monday morning.

ERIC: Okay, but I'm only coming Monday. Make Don Junior come Tuesday.

JUNIOR: I'll be in Africa shooting rhinos.

DON: Mitt Romney?

JUNIOR: Real rhinos.

ERIC: One day! Just Monday! Make Ivanka do something for a change!

IVANKA: You've always been jealous, Eric, because the president never said he wanted to date you.

ERIC: Shut up!

IVANKA: No, you shut up!

ERIC: No, you shut up!

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