RFK, Jr. Assures Voters That Worm Eating His Brain Is Dead

Yes, for those of you who were worried that there was a worm eating RFK, Jr.’s brain, rest assured that is no longer the case.

The New York Times has obtained a deposition from RKF, Jr.’s 2012 divorce proceedings where he has stated “I have cognitive problems, clearly...I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me.” And that it was caused by a worm in his brain which a doctor found. But the worm is now dead.

So the worm had eaten a portion of his brain before it died, but everything is perfectly fine now. Even though part of his brain has been digested by a worm.

That was in his brain.

In a recent interview with the Times, he has assured them that he has fully recovered from the mental problems caused by the worm in his brain and from part of his brain being gone because of the worm. 

Oh, and that the neurological problems which had been caused by mercury poisoning, something which has been known to cause madness, is totally gone as well.

Okay.

I’m not sure exactly where the story should go from there except to open the floor to comments. 

Don’t let me down people, I need to be entertained!

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