Let’s Check the DK Ukraine Relief Tote Board
As we do every few weeks or so, let’s check in on the Daily Kos relief fund for the Ukrainian civilians—and their furry friends—affected by Russia’s daily war crimes. As of this morning, you’ve contributed:
$3,819,294.18
If you'd like to support the four chosen groups—the World Central Kitchen, AmeriCares, Razom for Ukraine, and the International Fund for Animal Welfare—click here and ActBlue will guide you through the rest.
As the armchair generals continue their Gomer Pyle-tweeting about how President Zelenskyy should do this, that, and the other thing to beat back Russia, Ukraine’s impressive military continues sticking to the plan that is bleeding the Russkis dry. In the meantime, Russia is still doing its worst, and our help is still essential for the civilians caught in the middle. So thanks for your continued support for Ukraine, and your continued extended middle finger to Mad King Vlad.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, July 23, 2024
Note: If nominated for vice president I will accept. If elected, I will use Air Force Two to jet around to exotic locations and live a life of unbridled hedonism. So help me god.
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By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til the DNC convention in Chicago: 27
Days 'til Milwaukee Brewfest: 4
Revenue expected to be extracted from the 60 main sponsors at the Paris Olympics: $1.3 billion
Percent of Olympic visitors who are expected to come from outside of France: 10%
Number of employees belonging to the four unions who have authorized a strike at California's Disneyland properties: 14,000
Years since the last strike at Disneyland: 40
Water temperature off the coast of Portland, Maine: 62 F
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A regular Sir Walter Raleigh, he is…
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CHEERS to putting—forgive the phrase but it's apropos here—America first. One of my favorite reference books is Rating the Presidents, in which over 700 historians and political scientists tally the records of our commanders-in-chief in the areas of leadership, accomplishments/crisis management, political skill, appointments, and character. Their top-rated one-termer, James Polk, comes in at #11 overall, and breaks the top 10 for getting stuff done while in office. I have no doubt that Joe Biden—minus Polk's baggage of being a slaveowner and war starter—will rise to the same lofty heights, having saved the country from the twin scourges of the COVID and TRUMP. His administration was (and will be for another six months) competent, scandal-free, optimistic, equality-minded, and massively accomplished.
#46 with #47.
But having read the writing on the wall—much of it grotesque graffiti splattered on by opportunistic weasels in back rooms, but also some thoughtful analysis by people I respect—Joe announced that, at 81, he's hanging up his Oval Office Ray-Bans in January, but not before doing all he can to help his co-pilot Kamala Harris beat the fascist cult into submission on November 5th. The current signs look hopeful, with the Democratic party moving at the speed of Joe's '67 Corvette Stingray to catapult Vice President Harris to an inevitable nomination in Chicago next month. (I'd be surprised if the immediate crush of small-dollar donations hasn't reached $100 million by now.) So now the red-hatted gnats have a real fight on their hands, and their leader is scared. A prison cell could await him yet. My, my. Life comes at ya fast.
JEERS to the freaks coming out of the woodwork. Baron von Brainworm. Princess Crystal Aura. Captain Coalhead (although we hear he's already fled back to his houseboat), and the 75-year-old nattering nabob named Stein whose claim to fame is singing Putin to sleep every night via Zoom. By claiming they're the ones to pick up the Biden baton, they're proving to be nothing but numbskulls grabbing their latest 15 minutes of shame to promote their egos (and "donate" buttons) at the expense of the country's future. Even Deez Nuts had the sense to stay out of the fray. When you're getting lapped in the brains and decency department by Deez Nuts, it's time to reconsider your life choices.
CHEERS to a good man to have on Lincoln's team. On July 23, 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the larger-than-life general who helped beat back the Trump crowd's traitorous ancestors by winning the Civil War (even though he fainted at the sight of blood—really) and then went on to spend a rocky, cronies-run-amok eight years in the White House, died in Mount McGregor, N.Y. at 63. Today we appreciate him for this nugget (again, from the book Rating the Presidents):
He kept his own religious values and practice to himself.
In the larger view for the country, he believed in a strict separation of church and state, stating in his seventh annual message to Congress:
In terms of appearance, our 18th president was straight out of central casting.
"As this will be the last annual message which I shall have the honor of transmitting to Congress before my successor is chosen, I will repeat or recapitulate the questions which I deem of vital importance which may be legislated upon and settled at this session. [...]
Declare church and state forever separate and distinct, but each free within their proper spheres; and that all church property shall bear its own proportion of taxation."
Go pay your respects here. But don’t leave him any cigars—they’re what killed him. Perhaps toss up a nice salad.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to nabbing the #1 gangsta. 90 years ago this week, in 1934, John Dillinger was gunned down after watching a movie at Chicago's Biograph Theatre. His final words: "Agghh!! The pain!! It hurts!!" Same thing people say today when they see anything directed by Kirk Cameron.
CHEERS to blessed relief. Heyyyyy…how 'bout that heat wave! Here in Maine, the darn thing finally broke over the weekend, leaving in its wake a string of blistering days (and nights) that had us all reaching for crowbars with which to pry off our earmuffs. People around here are talking about it like they just survived Armageddon. The experience has brought us all closer together—we are brothers and sisters in heatstroke. But the folks who are breathing easiest this morning are the ones who run our local library. Lucky for them the temperature only topped out at Fahrenheit 450.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 23, 2014
JEERS to stink spots. I've been asked by several people for my analysis of the situation in Ukraine, where chain-smoking idiot goons who look like they just woke up from a weekend bender shot down a Malaysian Airlines jet using missile technology provided by dick-swinging Russian president Vladimir Putin, who looks like a complete idiot and is now, as the families of the 298 victims mourn and the Russia-backed rebels continue simultaneously picking their noses and swinging their guns around like total fucking morons amid an investigation on the ground that they obstructed by sheer negligence and indifference to forensic science and the fact that they are now hated by just about everyone in the known universe because they just had to push that red "FIRE" button without having a clue what they were doing, trying to figure a way to weasel out of the diplomatic doll-within-a-doll-within-a-doll in which he finds himself trapped like the rat he is. Basically, I have no opinion at this time. More study is needed.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the sound of silence. Well, the double-brood cicada orgy (rarer than a solar eclipse, they say) was fun while it lasted—mainly because they never bothered us in Maine. The next batch—Brood XIV—will appear next year for more fun in the sun. But for now the critters have gone back from whence they came. Because all pest cacophonies must come to an end. Regrettable exceptions: mega-church sermons and the Trump cult.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Bill in Portland Maine's rising star power and cheesy charisma is more memorable than his kiddie pool."
—Dustin Chase
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