Don’t Ask Me Anything
It’s been a depressing week everywhere but Britain, so I thought we’d do something FUN tonight in C&J. It’s a game I call Don’t Ask Me Anything.
Whatever’s on your mind, don’t ask.
And maybe later some Twister.
The weather? Don’t ask.
Politics? Don’t ask.
Fireworks-related head wounds? Don’t ask.
Cirrhosis? Mad cow? The latest COVID variant? Don’t ask.
Child rearing? Pet grooming? Tire repair? Don’t ask.
No topic is not off-limits. Anything doesn’t go. I’m sure you have lots of questions you don’t want to ask, and I will try to not get to them in the comments as quickly as I can, in the order in which they are not received.
So go ahead. Let’s play a lightning round of Don’t Ask Me Anything. If it catches on, I promise to split the gaming and media rights with you straight down the middle of at least ten percent of the net.
I love you guys.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 5, 2024
Note: Now that the July 4th holiday is over, it's time for the annual post-fireworks Counting of Fingers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and…grafted-on goat hoof thumb replacement makes ten. Woo hoo!
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By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til the Summer Olympics in Paris: 21
Days 'til Boston JerkFest: 7
Rank of hurricane Beryl on the list of strongest June or July hurricanes on record: #1
Year-over-year change in apartment rental prices as of June: -0.7%
National median monthly rent: $1,411
Expected years until ethnic minorities make up the majority of Americans, according to the Census Bureau: 20
Age of the Sony Walkman as of this year: 45
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Li'l toe beans…
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CHEERS to ending the day with a smile. Oh, let's set aside the death and destruction and self-inflicted planet killing for just a moment longer before we trudge on with the knowledge that our next federal holiday is two months away—there’s plenty of time for atrocity documenting and suchlike. So hey! Here's some gleaming news you can use that can't easily be brushed aside (or up and down), courtesy of NBC News:
How to shop for toothpaste
When buying a new tube, there are three main questions you should consider, said Dr. Breno Reboucas, a professor at the Boston University School of Dental Medicine:
1. Does it have the ADA seal of acceptance?
2. Does it contain fluoride?
3. Does it address any additional needs your specific teeth may require?
All toothpastes that earn the ADA Seal of Acceptance contain fluoride, and while Hewlett said there’s been controversy over fluoride for decades, “it’s one of the most well-documented therapies in all of dentistry,” he explained. Additionally, toothpastes with the ADA Seal of Acceptance do not contain flavoring agents like sugar that cause or contribute to tooth decay.
Update: Sorry, but due to a lawsuit filed against a non-existent defendant by an unemployed Christian high school dropout who's thinking about maybe one day going into dentistry, the Supreme Court has struck down the use of toothpaste on religious grounds. Still acceptable for use in oral hygiene: dirt, sand, and toothpicks made from crucifix wood. Three times a day, remember, or you're goin' straight to Hell.
CHEERS to the bloke in charge. Elections were held in Britain yesterday, and I'm sure you're all wondering about just what the blinkered toddy-wankered gobnobber is happening across The Pond. I can tell you that Labour—Ha Ha they spell labor funny!—won a right old collywodger of seats in Parliament, ejecting the upper class twits for their scorched-shire campaign of Brexit (a total disaster) and austerity measures (an even total-ier disaster). So what do we know about who’s in charge at 10 Downing Street in the wake of the elections? Not a whole lot, but we do know this:
» His official job description is "civil servant"
» His duties include greetings guests, including foreign dignitaries, and tending to security defenses and tactical planning
» Winner of the Blue Plaque Award
» He has served Her Majesty's and His Majesty's government during the terms of five previous prime ministers
» Among American presidents, Barack Obama is considered a "special friend"
» Although leagues ahead of recent conservative prime ministers on virtually every measurement, he is nonetheless open to criticism for his temperament
» Brown eyes, no known spouse or children
But enough about Larry the Downing Street cat. Anyone know anything about the new prime minister?
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to greenbacks. In a famous first, on July 6, 1785, Congress agreed that the dollar would officially become America’s first “unit of U.S. currency.” Also on July 6, 1785, the American public agreed that the dollar would, in their households, officially become America’s first "endangered species."
CHEERS to sun and wind and cleaner air, oh my. While you were obsessing over your weekend plans for picnicking and partying in your frilly dresses and seersucker suits (my spycams are everywhere), I was up here sitting, on your behalf, in a mildew-infested room illuminated by a single light bulb hanging from a wire, sweating my brains out while poring over the most significant alternative-energy news of the year. And only after forking over $99 for the Bill Gates Microsoft Word Master Class am I now in a position to "copy and paste" (as you tech gurus say) a conclusion most pleasing:
For the first year ever, renewable energy sources generated 30 percent of the globe’s electricity in 2023—driven by a decade of consistent, spectacular growth in solar and wind power.
Wheatridge Renewable Energy Facility in Lexington, Oregon.
This surge in clean generation helped slow the growth of fossil fuels by almost two-thirds over the last 10 years, according to energy analysis firm Ember’s "Global Electricity Review 2024" It’s likely that enough clean energy progress has been made that power sector emissions will begin to fall from here, Ember writes.
Polite golf clap to everyone who reuses, repurposes, and/or recycles in 2024. Well, except for the politicians who do it with their talking points. Ha ha ha!!!
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15 years ago in C&J: July 5, 2009
CHEERS to words of worldly wisdom from Joe Biden. Remember earlier this year when our vice president got in "hot water" for cautioning people that air travel could be risky because it was one way that viruses like H1N1 were spread? People laauuughed and laauuughed, he was such a kook, that Biden. Well, suck on this, naysayers:
In a startling measure of just how widely a new disease can spread, researchers accurately plotted swine flu's course around the world by tracking air travel from Mexico. [...]
Scientists have long assumed a relationship between air travel and spread of the virus. But the new research for the first time confirmed the relationship, said Dr. Kamran Khan, who led the study.
Memo to the media: you can retrieve your knives from Joe's back during normal business hours.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to ending every week on a high note. Every Friday our C&J poll asks, "Who won the week?" We do our best to round up some solid candidates who make us feel a little mushy-gushy and remind us that all is not lost. (We’re making an exception this week, because the Supreme Court found it of utmost importance to make us all, including our democracy, losers. So we’re giving the win to Britain. We’ll resume our full menu next week.)
Thanks to your smarts and good sense, the Class of the Second Quarter of 2024 is a good-lookin' bunch. As we leave in the rear-view mirror the holiday celebrating our chaotic birth, it’s good to know that, 248 years later, do-gooders still walk among us. The envelopes, please…
Apr 5 The crews working around the clock with speed and dexterity to remove the collapsed pieces of the Key Bridge in Baltimore
Apr 12 President Biden: announces more student loan relief; closes gun show loophole; wines & dines Japanese prime minister; locks in $130 million campaign ad time for August-November
Apr 19 Judge Juan Merchan, for presiding over Trump's criminal election-interference trial with an efficient, no-nonsense attitude. The jury is seated...the trial starts Monday.
Apr 26 Ukraine, which finally got the military and humanitarian aid package from the US that the MAGA cultists blocked for half a year
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May 3 President Biden: Restores Health Protections for LGBTQ people; signs Ukraine aid bill; welcomes another solid jobs report; awards Medals of Freedom
Every WWTW winner receives an adorable pet water bear to snuggle with and take for long walks on the beach.
May 10 Stormy Daniels, the star witness who calmly revealed her sexual encounter with Trump, whose cover-up ultimately led to the election-interference indictments against him
May 17 President Biden: gets decent inflation report; officially moves to reclassify marijuana from Class I to Class III drug
May 24 Judge Juan Merchan, for owning his courtroom and brooking no shenanigans during the Trump election-interference trial, and the prosecution for making a solid case with preparation and skill
May 31 All of the above (related to the Trump guilty verdicts)
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June 7 The D-Day veterans who returned to France one more time to mark the 80th anniversary of the invasion that led to victory over the Nazis
June 14 Lauren Windsor ("Lady Libertine" here at Daily Kos) for snagging undercover audio of hack partisan Supreme Court Justice Alito and his flag-obsessed MAGA wife shitting on democracy and the Constitution
June 21 The undocumented spouses and children of U.S. citizens who stand to benefit under the executive order President Biden issued
June 28 The thousands of LGBT veterans wrongfully discharged for same-sex intimacy as far back as the 1950’s, for being pardoned by President Biden, allowing them to regain lost benefits
Who will our gold-star winners be in the third quarter? As always, that’ll be for you to decide.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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