The Desperation! It Burns! IT BURNS!!!

Do you smell smoke? I do!

There is that scene in most Dracula movies when the Count is forced into sunlight. He hisses and screams, twisting back and forth, desperate to escape the purifying rays of the sun. This is almost always right near the end of the movie, and we know that while there may be a few shocks left, it’s over for the bloodsucker.

We’ve all seen it a hundred times, which made it so easy to recognize yesterday at the National Association of Black Journalists convention.

Trumpula is so desperate to escape the ray of light (and breath of fresh air!) which Kamala Harris embodies that he nearly burst into flames! He screeched out his most absurd and self-damaging lies to date (about Kamala’s heritage) and forgave himself for his biggest mistake to date (choosing Vance as his bug-eating Wrenfield) in a fit of utter desperation as his artificially tanned skin crisped and smoked.

The desperation! It burns, IT BURNS!

In an odd twist, the party that has come back to life in this story is the Democrats, while than the vile valueless vampiric vermin of the right can see the stake pointed squarely at their undead heart. They will do absolutely anything to evade their impending doom! But like any monster backed into a corner, this is when they are at their most dangerous.

We must grasp the stake firmly, and pound it home mercilessly. And when the deed is done, we must burn the remains and scatter the ashes at sea. Only then may we be free from the distillation of evil that has poisoned our body politic.