Will of the People
This week marks 89 years since "cowboy philosopher" Will Rogers’ death at 55 in a plane crash in Alaska. In 1935 Franklin Roosevelt (whom he supported) had only been in office for two years and my parents were still in diapers. Huge Hollywood star, razor-sharp pundit, world-record-holding lasso artist, reporter, and one of the best things to come from Oklahoma. Here are some of his observations that ring as true today as they did nearly a century ago:
» "Remember, write to your Congressman. Even if he can’t read, write to him."
» “When the judgment day comes, civilization will have an alibi: ‘I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.’”
» "I guess our country holds the record for dumbness. The Pope spoke to the world this morning in three languages and we didn’t understand a one of ’em. But the minute he finished and the local stations got back to selling corn salve and pyorrhea toothpaste we were right up our intellectual alley again."
Oklahoma’s finest.
» "Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat."
» "I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons."
» "People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth."
» "One thing about Republican presidents: They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says, 'Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.'"
» "Our distribution of wealth is getting more uneven all the time. A man can make a million and he is on every page in the morning. But it never tells you who gave up that million he got."
» “Most people and actors appearing on the stage have some writer write their material. I don’t do that. Congress is good enough for me. They’ve been writing my material for years.”
» "If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world."
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 14, 2024
Note: Cheers and Jeers is now 100% recyclable. Just bag up your pixels when you’re done reading it and leave them by the curb along with your regular recycling. We’ll use them in the production of tires, roofing material, ferret earmuffs, and semiconductors. Together we can make a difference.
—Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til the next full "sturgeon supermoon": 5
Days 'til the Corn Palace Festival in Mitchell, South Dakota: 7
Number of complaints to environmental authorities in Texas that SpaceX was "discharging deluge water without authorization,” causing significant water pollution (now on EPA's radar): 14
Current price of gas at the pump: $3.44
Expected rate of inflation over the next three years, according to consumer surveys by the New York Fed, the lowest number since recordkeeping began in 2013: 2.3%
Magnitude of the quake that hit Los Angeles Monday: 4.7
Age of hip-hop as of last week: 51
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 3 date settings and 1 beach hog with massive paws). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Say hi to Jenny the new parliamentarian…
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CHEERS to lazy goof-off week. Here's the way things stand around the country nearly midway through August:
The Senate is off. The House is off. The Supreme Court is off. State legislatures are off. Oh, and most of Europe is off. Yeah...off their ROCKERS Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Remember that, all you grads now entering the workforce: maniacal laughter is cleansing for the resentful, burnt-out workaholic soul.
CHEERS to Bidenomics. I'm sure Dark Brandon, knowing his days in office are numbered, is resting on his laurels…planning his presidential library, rockin' on the White House balcony with a triple scoop of mint chocolate chip on a sugar cone, and livin' the good life. Why, I bet he doesn’t even have an interest in curbing inflation more than he already has. And this just in: Dark Brandon just rope-a-doped us all again, that magnificent bastard…
Wholesale price increases in the United States eased in July, suggesting that inflation pressures are further cooling as the Federal Reserve moves closer to cutting interest rates, likely beginning next month.
Eats ice cream and lowers inflation at the same time.
The Labor Department reported Tuesday that its producer price index—which tracks inflation before it reaches consumers—rose 0.1% from June to July. That was down from a 0.2% rise a month earlier.
And compared with a year earlier, prices were up 2.2% in July. That was the smallest such rise since March and was down from a 2.7% year-over-year increase in June. […]
Tuesday's report showed that prices in the nation's vast service sector fell 0.2% last month, the biggest drop since March 2023.
The only thing falling faster than inflation these days is Trump's poll numbers. Who says Christmas can't come in August?
JEERS to previews of coming attractions. There's a new theory being tested this summer, and so far it's reliably passing scrutiny: The more people get to know JD Vance and his record, the more they're weirded out by him. The latest story about the MAGA VP candidate dropped on CNN yesterday like a steaming turd—nasty stuff, with a strong echo of the vibe given off by Romney-Ryan circa 2012. Turns out venture capitalist Vance invested in, and promoted, a high-tech Kentucky company called AppHarvest…and it quickly turned to shit:
A CNN review of public documents, and interviews with a dozen former workers, shows that AppHarvest not only failed as a business after pursuing rapid growth, but also provided a grim job experience for many of the working-class Kentuckians Vance has vowed to help.
As for Vance getting caught in drag? Who am I to judge?
AppHarvest employees said they were forced to work in grueling conditions inside the company’s greenhouse, where temperatures often soared into the triple digits [...]
Despite promising local jobs, the company eventually began contracting migrant workers from Mexico, Guatemala and other countries, numerous former employees told CNN. […] By the time he was sworn in to office last year, the company he’d hailed as a great opportunity was mired in lawsuits filed by shareholders angry over its plummeting stock price and allegations of fraud.
Go away, party of fiscal responsibility. You're drunk again.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to America's favorite safety net. 89 years ago this week, in 1935, President Franklin Roosevelt gave us one less thing to fear by signing the Social Security Act into law, saying:
"We can never insure one hundred percent of the population against one hundred percent of the hazards and vicissitudes of life, but we have tried to frame a law which will give some measure of protection to the average citizen and to his family against the loss of a job and against poverty-ridden old age. […]
FDR signs the Social Security Act under the watchful eye of Secretary of Labor Frances Perkins, without whom it never would have happened. (Her parents were both Mainers, y’know.)
The law will flatten out the peaks and valleys of deflation and of inflation. It is, in short, a law that will take care of human needs and at the same time provide for the United States an economic structure of vastly greater soundness."
Today a substantial portion of the Republican base loves to criticize Social Security as the brainchild of a dirty effing socialist hippie. But they sure do love getting their dirty socialist hippie checks in the mail. And they sure love to complain that their socialist hippie checks ain't big enough. And they sure love to leap to its defense by telling their own party to “keep your government hands off my Social Security.” Yes, when it comes to money, Republicans are all about the love. Those dirty effing socialist hippies.
CHEERS and JEERS to accuracy in reporting. I thought it might be nice to tool around the major news sites and see how their headlines parsed Monday night's inept and incoherent live Twitter "chat" between Elon Musk and Donald Trump. The "event" was delayed nearly an hour by technical incompetence and the content sounded like two high teenagers trying to emulate work-related conversations they overheard their parents having with the home office during the covid lockdown. It was a mess. Trump slurred his words noticeably (why?), both host and guest lied repeatedly, and the last thing on either of their minds was the welfare of ordinary Americans. So let's see how our media overlords framed the online dumpster fire:
CBS News: Trump's meandering live chat with Musk on X plagued by glitches
ABC News: Trump rehashes familiar talking points on immigrants, Biden in X chat with Musk
NBC News: After technical delays, Trump talks immigration, tech policy with Musk
CNN: Trump and Musk host friendly conversation on X
MSNBC: [Nothing]
NPR: Light on news, heavy on personality in Elon Musk and Donald Trump X interview
New York Times: Trump’s Chat With Musk Was Heavy on Talking Points and Familiar Falsehoods
Washington Post: Trump returns to X with technical glitches, softball questions from Musk
Not horrible (but WTF, MSNBC???) but also not great. So leave it, once again, to the mighty kingpin of Daily Kos to spell it out plain: Trump's conversation with Musk is even bigger disaster than expected. In the immortal words of that great stateswoman Edith Ann: “And that's the truth. [Thpppppt!!!]”
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 14, 2014
CHEERS to progress in the war zone where we're actually still at war. As Iraq continues to unravel (although it seems like ISIS is starting to lose battles and recognize their limits), there's something positive happening in the other country we invaded back when we were knee-high to a grasshopper:
Afghanistan's feuding presidential candidates say they will resolve their dispute, form a unity government and name a new leader. It comes after an audit of votes to decide the winner of the election, which was marred by allegations of polling fraud.
"Today, myself, our team, and Dr (Ashraf) Ghani and his team have taken another step forward in the interests of strengthening national unity in the country," Abdullah Abdullah said.
Secretary of State John Kerry and President Obama get a chunk of responsibility for brokering the deal. But don't tell the beltway media. It might rumple their narrative.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the whitest guy ever to be "born a poor Black child." Happy birthday to Steve Martin, who was a spry 30 when I first heard his stand-up act (via long-play cassette) at 12 and laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, and who is now an elder statesman of comedy at 79. Besides being an award-winning banjo picker, having a hit single (King Tut), hosting the Oscars and SNL, starring in a boatload of popular movies and the Emmy-winning TV show Only Murders in the Building, and writing best-selling books, an Oscar-nominated screenplay (Roxanne), and sketches for the legendary Smothers Brothers, what has he contributed to society? While we're trying to think of something, watch this…
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Sorry, Steve, but I'm still drawin' a blank. Happy birthday, anyway.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"You don’t owe a damn thing to Bill in Portland Maine."
—Mesa, Arizona Mayor John Giles
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