A Few Words from the August Birthday Kids Table
“Good morning. Crime is lower today then under Trump. Border crossings are lower today than under Trump. Unemployment is lower today than under Trump. We aren’t going back.”
—Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT)
"Always remember: If you're alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who's going to know?"
—Julia Child
"Hallelujah!!! My predictions came true! I predicted three years ago at a speech with the Human Rights Campaign that Stormy Daniels would be the one to get Trump, my faith in the criminal justice system has been strengthened! Trump, shut your mouth, you’re convicted on all counts!"
—Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA)
“I will be so happy when Kamala Harris actually enters the White House as president, because she’ll break my record as the president who spent the most time at McDonald's.”
—Bill Clinton, at the DNC in Chicago
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
—Dorothy Parker
"The heart of the [1965 voting rights] act is plain. Wherever, by clear and objective standards, States and counties are using regulations, or laws, or tests to deny the right to vote, then they will be struck down. If it is clear that State officials still intend to discriminate, then Federal examiners will be sent into register all eligible voters. When the prospect of discrimination is gone, the examiners will be immediately withdrawn. And, under this act, if any county anywhere in this Nation does not want Federal intervention, it need only open its polling places to all of its people.
—President Lyndon Johnson
“Somebody has to do something, and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.”
—Jerry Garcia
"It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small."
—Neil Armstrong
”I was born a poor Black child...”
—Steve Martin
"Hey, guess what? Screw you. Try to keep up. Keep up, okay? These young punks. I will go after them—I will drop them like a bag of dirt."
—Al Roker, 70, to critics on social media that he's too old to cover hurricanes
"Stigma is the greatest barrier to seeking care for individuals who have mental illness, the greatest barrier for a person with a mental illness. And it’s the greatest barrier for those of us in the field who are trying to do something about it."
—Rosalynn Carter, who left us last year at 96
"The childish nicknames and crazy conspiracy theories and weird obsession with crowd size...it just goes on and on. The other day, I heard someone compare Trump to the neighbor who keeps running his leaf blower outside your window every minute of every day. From a neighbor, that’s exhausting. From a president, it’s just dangerous."
—President Barack Obama at the DNC in Chicago
To the above and those in our Daily Kos community who completed another trip around the sun this month, in person or in spirit: happy birthday and many blessings on your camels.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 28, 2024
Note: Here's a fun activity for all you kids starting school! Take a blank sheet of paper and fold it in half. On the outside write with Elmer's glue: "The Big Book of Good MAGA Ideas." Sprinkle glitter on it and let it dry. Now open it up and draw a big zero on the inside. Awesome—you're a published author! Now go fetch teacher a beer and get out your nappytime mats.
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2 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of National Courtesy Month, which is celebrated by everyone but Republicans: 4
Days 'til Payson City Golden Onion Days in Utah: 2
Percent increase in heat-related deaths since 1999, according to the CDC: 117%
Number of Americans admitted to the emergency room for heat-related illnesses in 2023: 120,000
Number of games the Dodgers and Yankees have won this season, the most of all the major league teams: 78
Date of Apple's next big iPhone/Apple Watch model announcement: 9/9/24
Years as of last Sunday since Kos killed the Daily Kos “diary”: 13
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 182 (including 5 Iranian shenanigans and 1 antichrist who makes the whole world sing). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Short 'n sweet. I love elections like this one…
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CHEERS to fearless predictions. There are many Senate races attracting many eyeballs this year, and one of them is right here in my backyard. Yes, one of Maine's senate seats is up for grabs, and handicapping this race is one of the most difficult data-crunching projects ever embarked upon by man or beast (or lobster in green eyeshades with an abacus). But crunch we must, because here at C&J you expect absolute top-line analysis from your host, and I'm not about to disappoint you. So…for the last six weeks I've gone without food, water, sleep or bathroom breaks, tearing through one legal pad after another to reach a conclusion using multiple algorithms and reading multiple containers of animal entrails we found behind RFK Jr.'s house. Having processed all that, I predict the following:
The Mustache of Independence has no time for foolishness.
This guy—incumbent independent Senator Angus King, who caucuses with the Democrats—will win reelection in a landslide so massive that it will roll into the Atlantic Ocean along our coast and create several miles of new beachfront property. The margin of error is the distance between two atoms dancing the tango. So suck on that, Nate Silver. I'm the new kingmaker in this joint.
CHEERS to happy coincidences. Sadly, with John Lewis’s passing in 2020 there are no speakers from this milestone in American history still living. So it’s bittersweet to note that 61 years ago today, on August 28, 1963, an intimate gathering of 200,000 people watched as Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech (watch it here) from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial:
August 28, 1963
And 16 years ago tonight Barack Obama echoed the words of King (among them: "The fierce urgency of now") when he spoke to a packed stadium in Denver as the first African-American presidential nominee in the history of the universe:
Whoever says crowd size doesn’t matter wasn’t paying attention in 2008.
This for me is still King's money quote, the distilled essence of what it means to pursue a "more perfect union":
"I have a dream my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but the content of their character."
Or as modern-day Trump cultists, formerly known as Republicans, call it: a nightmare.
JEERS to the good dying much too young. Speaking of civil rights, today is the 69th anniversary of the abduction and murder of 14 year-old Emmett Till—a shocking and disgraceful act that helped energize the civil rights movement in 1955 with righteous anger. Till's original glass-topped casket (his remains were exhumed and re-buried in 2005) was restored and went on display at the Smithsonian's Museum of African American History and Culture.
Emmett Till with his mom. Mamie Till-Mobley, who insisted on an open-casket funeral to show the world what racism had done to her son, was an outspoken civil rights activist until she died in 2003.
We hope his killers—who confessed after they were acquitted and never showed remorse before they died in 1980 and 1994—are currently in the process of feeling a certain burning sensation for eternity.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to history not repeating itself. On August 28, 1968, police and anti-war demonstrators made a deep-dish clusterfuck of things—a scene thankfully not repeated this year—in the streets of Chicago as the Democratic National Convention nominated Hubert Humphrey. In the wake of the fracas all the parties came together and instituted a new rule that has served conventions well ever since: Decaf, Decaf, Decaf.
CHEERS to shoveling a bit less this year. The New Hampshire-based tree bark readers at the Old Farmer's Almanac are out with their winter forecast—their 233rd if you believe what you read in the Old Farmer's Almanac. You can check out your region’s outlook here. Up here in New England—which is neither new nor England—it looks like we may be forced to wear long pants in a few months:
In the Northeast—Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, and eastern New York—winter is always cold and snowy. But we’re predicting a gentler-than-normal season that’s not so rough and tough.
Winter temperatures will be above average overall. January is expected to be 4°F above average in the far north of this region. The coldest periods will be mid-December and late February.
Yes!
[T]here will be plenty of snow—however, precipitation and snowfall will be slightly below normal (1 to 1.5% below average). The snowiest periods will be in early December, mid-February, and early March.
Also in the forecast: a 100% chance of idiots shouting "Global cooling!" at the sighting of the first snowflake. (Take your heart pills, Mitch McConnell—you know how excited you get.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 28, 2014
CHEERS to squirtin' the bigots with the fire hose of justice. As long as the gay-marriage haters can limit their arenas of verbal combat to churches, cable TV, and friendly web sites, they can keep their flames (read: hysteria in the service of fundraising) fanned without much fuss. But drag that shit into a courtroom—as lawyers representing Indiana and Wisconsin did yesterday in front of the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals—and you end up with this:
Judge Richard Posner, who was appointed by President Ronald Reagan, was dismissive when Wisconsin Assistant Attorney General Timothy Samuelson repeatedly pointed to 'tradition' as the underlying justification for barring gay marriage. "It was tradition to not allow blacks and whites to marry—a tradition that got swept away," Posner said. Prohibition of same sex marriage, he said, is "a tradition of hate...and savage discrimination."
Posner frequently cut off Indiana Solicitor General Thomas Fischer, just moments into his presentation and chided him to answer his questions. At one point, Posner ran through a list of psychological strains of unmarried same-sex couples, including having to struggle to grasp why their schoolmates' parents were married and theirs weren't. "What horrible stuff," Posner said.
It sure seems like all three judges—especially Reagan's guy, who stopped just short of doing jazz hands—were itchin' to green-light some same-sex hitchin'. As always, we'll sleep on the couch next to the ticker tape machine until the decision comes down. Or until my partner Michael says I can sleep in the bedroom again after serving my sentence for eating the last slice of key lime pie. Whichever comes first. My money's on the judges.
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And just one more…
JEERS to Republican leadership inaction. Why do Republicans consider George W. Bush persona non grata in the party? One reason is this: 19 years ago today, as Bush displayed a lovely birthday cake he'd baked for late fellow warmonger John McCain, a swirling category-3 fetus was terrorizing abortion clinics in New Orleans. FEMA head Michael Brown, drawing on his vast experience in disaster management as former head of the Arabian Horse Association's legal department, responded swiftly and maturely:
The day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with [FEMA's deputy director of public affairs Cindy] Taylor, [Rep. Charlie] Melancon said. She told him, "You look fabulous," and Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstroms. ... Are you proud of me?"
Bush praising his Nordstroms “fashion god.”
An hour later, Brown added: "If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you'll really vomit. I am a fashion god."
Say it with me, once more for old time's sake: "Heckuva job, Brownie."
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Poor Steve Bannon Being 'Tortured' In Prison, Can't Even Read His 'Special Cheers and Jeers' On Daily Kos
—Wonkette
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