Here’s an idea to do something with

Everybody talks about Trump, but nobody comes from what they think being him would be like. I could see that as a uniting exercise, where many people write their versions that actually would give us insight into how anyone could be so repulsive. I’d see comical ones, too — even for Saturday Night Live. Now that “weird” is a meme, this follows on that. Here’s my version. 

Getting into Donald’s Head

Could this be his lizard brain speaking?

"The big box that I’m in is to win. That’s really all I see. Everything that comes up goes on the gameboard of how I come out on top. It’s just the way I am.

"You know about telling a big enough lie? That sounds so tame. I don’t evaluate based on lies and truth. It’s not my objective. And I do see how well it works to have the lies get bigger and bigger.

"My objective is to win. I’m off the charts in that regard. I don’t even really know what love is. But to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me. It would get in my way. And I see the principles of fairness, but they create pawns for me, little people in my game, to be swatted away. And I can’t get too stirred up by those apocalyptic things, since they don’t figure to kick in while I’m still here.

"I want whatever I want when I want it. Even that isn’t the biggest truth. Winning is even bigger. What is that about me? It just is. Like I have skin. I didn’t like growing up, and the winning thing just kicked in. It wasn’t even life or death. It just was.

"I’ve gotten so good it. It gets easier and easier, where I’m kind of riffing in it now. I’m saying weird things that I’m letting myself do stream of consciousness, or some stream of something, and I stay excited seeing the fuss I stir up in the newspapers, on TV, the funny skits and parodies, I am omnipresent. Oh god, it is so sweet.

"You know, you only live once, and to just keep slobbering along as a winner suits me fine."