How to Tell When a Candidate Up For Reelection is Confident
Senator Angus King, who succeeded Olympia Snowe in 2013 when she became one of the early Republicans to bolt because of the increasing weirdness of the teabagger (now MAGA) extremists swallowing her party, enjoys huge popularity up here and is running for a third term in office. Angus is an independent who caucuses with the Democrats, and his brand of folksy common sense mixed with a mastery of center-left policy positions make him virtually unbeatable.
This campaign ad is now running on local TV stations: positive, issue-oriented, and fun. He and his wife Mary really do love their RV...
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Totally missing: any mention of opponents. And that’s how you can tell when a candidate up for reelection is confident. Here endeth the lesson.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 11, 2024
Note: According to the internet, today is National Make Your Bed Day. Fortunately, according to me, today is also Eh, Maybe Tomorrow Day.
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By the Numbers:
9 days!!!
Days 'til the harvest supermoon: 6
Days 'til the Tater Tots Festival in Ontario, Oregon: 9
Year that Ore-Ida introduced Tater Tots in Ontario, Oregon: 1954
Current U.S. unemployment rate: 4.2%
Year-over-year decrease in used car prices as of August: -4%
Value of Trump's stake in Trump Media on May 9 and September 9, respectively: $6.2 billion / $2.1 billion
Factor by which mental health-related jobs are expected to grow versus all U.S. job categories over the next decade: 3x
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 181 (including 4 Kings of the East and 1 boring-ass afterlife). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Remember Puppy Conan? Here's a refresher…
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CHEERS to a pleasant conversation. Kamala Harris and Captain Weirdypants duked it out last night in Philadelphia. Our verdict: Trump was crazy uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. Harris was sure-footed on policies both foreign and domestic, while ably reducing her opponent to the babbling fascist idiot he is. A few thoughts:
» Kamala: "We cleaned up his mess." I hope they got hazard pay for that.
» If Trump wasn’t hopped up on a fistful of Ronny Jackson's Magic Pep Pills, I'm the Easter Bunny.
» Kamala thought being poised, prepared and optimistic would win America's hearts. Good choice.
Hook, line, and sinker.
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» Trump thought scowling, bellowing, and zig-zagging all over the place would win America's hearts. Odd choice.
» The coup de grace: “Donald Trump was fired by 81 million people and clearly he’s having a very difficult time processing that.”
» Ooh, another coup de grace: “Dictators can manipulate you with flattery and favors. Leaders tell me you are a disgrace.”
» No animals were eaten during the debate. However, Kamala ate Trump's lunch and drank his milkshake.
Final verdict: a crushing defeat for Trump. We rate this debate 5 Airborne Ketchup Bottles.
JEERS to That Day. Today we revisit for the 23rd damn time one of those dates in our nation's history which will live in infamy. But at least the guy who orchestrated it finally met his fate in the raid of the century (thanks, President Obama), as did his second-in-command (thanks, President Biden) and a new tower stands at Ground Zero like a middle-finger salute to al Qaeda. Time to dig up the 2001 C&J time capsule and remind ourselves of some truths that all the right-wing spinners in the world will never be able to whitewash:
» Most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, yet the country paid no price for producing and harboring terrorists.
» The 8/6/01 PDB said: Bin Laden determined to Strike in U.S.
» Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. 9/11 had nothing to do with Iraq.
» Sitting in a classroom for seven minutes after being told "America is under attack" was a poor display of leadership by the President of the United States.
NYC’s middle finger salute to al Qaeda and Taliban.
» Donald Trump did not see thousands of Muslims in New Jersey cheering the fall of the towers. He did not pay hundreds of workers out of his own pocket and he did not help clear the rubble. But he did brag about how his was now the tallest building in Manhattan after the towers came down.
» We will never be able to put into words the scope of the heroism that first responders displayed, nor the cruelty of the Republican party that turned their backs on them when they needed medical care for Ground Zero-related health issues because, despite their promises, the air was not fine.
» Rudy Giuliani built his anti-terrorism command center in the World Trade Center against the advice of experts who knew better.
» Giuliani was not "at the site as often, if not more, than most of the workers."
» The Republicans' go-to spiritual adviser, Jerry Falwell, Sr. really said: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way…I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen." Falwell lives in Hell now, decked out in feather boas and strapped to a rotating disco ball for eternity.
» Republicans were the first to propagandize 9/11 in political campaign ads, despite insisting no one should ever do that.
» Osama bin Laden was not caught by Bush dead or alive. He continued making videos and plotting more attacks until President Obama snatched him from his Pakistan porn palace in 2011.
I sometimes wonder how bin Laden and the 9/11 hijackers reacted when they found out the 72 virgins they met in the afterlife had orders from Allah to beat them with shoes for eternity. We'll never know. But I hope it was a Kodak moment.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to great moments in music. On September 11, 1962, The Beatles recorded their first singles for EMI, including "Love Me Do." Or as it's called today: the British Hairdressers' National Anthem.
CHEERS to Bidenomics, part CCCLLVXIIICLLL. Man oh man, talk about perfect timing. If it's true that "it's the economy, stupid," then Democrats have stuck the landing just in time to boost their chances of riding a blue wave to victory in 55 days:
As inflation cools and the Federal Reserve prepares to lower interest rates, Americans’ assessments of the future are improving, which is bringing the country’s economic standing more in line with consumer sentiment, Pearce wrote in a report published Friday. […]
“Consumer confidence seems to be catching up with where the economy is,” said Brett House, economics professor at Columbia Business School. “They are kind of meeting in the middle.” […]
Progress on inflation without a sizeable deterioration in the labor market has created a “classic ‘Goldilocks’ scenario,” Columbia’s House said.
This morning in the C&J breakfast buffet: porridge drizzled with honey and and rational exuberance.
CHEERS to the shortest thing we've ever written. Wheel of Fortune debuted its new host Monday. It's the guy who hosts all the other shows. Now he's hosting this one. The End.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 11, 2014
[Cautious] CHEERS to a way forward. I'm thinking that maybe I can let out a tentative sigh of relief this morning, thanks to President Obama's address to the nation last night that kinda sorta spelled out a possible way to marshal the world's forces and destabilize ISIS, while also theoretically making the world a safer place overall. It partially makes sense, partially doesn't make sense, more study is needed, Congress has to be on the hook just as much as the president, but in the end I sorta see what Obama's trying to do, so I think I actually endorse his plan on a provisional basis unless new information comes in that might cause me to reconsider my position, which could happen five seconds from now or never. And that's final.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a bright spot on an otherwise infamous day. Be sure to take a moment today to face Berkeley, California and shout (as required by law), ”Happy Birthday!”
Birthday boy Kos laying intellectual waste to Chuck Todd’s whataboutism back in the day.
Yes indeed, our malevolent benevolent kingpin, troll slayer, gate crasher, MSNBC guest, and blogging pioneer Markos Moulitsas Zuniga completes another revolution around the sun, and we wish him many blessings on his camels. On behalf of the C&J community, I got him the usual gifts: a new star pin for his Che beret (they tarnish so fast—drives me nuts), a new pair of "I brake for AOC" mud flaps, and a renewal of his subscription to Popular Hispanic Hippie Commie Pinko Socialist Libturd Moonbat Vegetarian Election Stealing Cyclists Monthly.
It's the least we could do. So that's what we did.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"This morning Bill in Portland Maine has lost his place once again on Bloomberg’s Cheers and Jeers Index, the list of the world’s 500 sanest kiddie pool splashers, all because of his candy corn addiction."
—CNN's Kate Bolduan
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