This is the mystery - -many have accomplished what they set out to accomplish, big or small, great or humble. But they're still so bound and determined to be miserable, make sure everyone knows how miserable they are, and then try to project their misery onto someone else.
If you did what you wanted, got what you wanted, when and where you wanted it, where does this fine misery come from, and why cling so desperately to it?”
Whenever I see this many sourpusses all in one place it begs the question, “What are you so completely unhappy about?”
That, I am afraid, is the insanity du jour. Their dissatisfaction exists as some learned social modality. Their bitterness exists as an adaptive vernacular and they think it fashionable and “cool.” Rage is how they show the world who they are. Thom Hartmann has taken a crack at decoding the political implications of this distortion, and he’s laid out how a small number of wealthy people are benefiting from this misery ( hartmannreport.com/...).
Sure, we can discuss what’s holding this coalition together — racism, tribalism, ageism, cultural differences, feeling threatened by life itself, feeling out of control, increasingly confusing media, increasingly trivial messaging, and an indifference fueled by absolutely no desire to solve a problem, but rather, to get upset and shove that problem right back down someone else’s throat, literally, if possible.
They’re driving a rattletrap down the highway of life, held together by old coathangers, leftover electrical wire, Duck tape, shrink wrap and everything temporary that you can think of. Decals, flags, artwork and mystical symbols decorate this misbegotten hunk-o’-junk as it roars past us all in defiance of all posted signage, and generally accepted rules of the road. The hallmark cry of this coalition is, “Good enough!” Quality and safety are not important. All that matters is an immature expression of total rage; an irrational expression that is unchecked by executive function in the brain, characterized by moment-to-moment reactivity and a contagious entitlement mindset. Don’t forget the permanent disgusted look and the scowl as they drive past, flipping everyone off.
They don’t want progress, even though they use its benefits every day. They want to go backwards in time because that’s what lives in their imagination as somehow a better reality.
It is very much that place any older parent can tell you about, having endured a developing teenager who is trying to figure out how to live life on their own terms and by their own rules before entering the real world, where they can live to the fullness of their potential. Teenagers can, and do, act crazy.
Teenagers can be scared, angry, sad, ecstatic all at once and without any stability. They are filled with energy that even they don’t understand, at least, not well enough to tell someone about what’s going on. The best that they can do is act it out, voice it loudly, register their complaints, put on a high-drama show, engage in mock ritual combat, and sometimes, screw up and hurt themselves and one another. They insist on being left alone and not interfered with, but they underperform on simple assigned tasks. Everything is extremes of highs and lows, middle ground is a rarely occurring phenomenon. As David Dunning and Justin Kruger might offer, “They don’t know what they don’t know, but they are certain they have all the answers already.”
We’re stuck on this Mobius strip (en.wikipedia.org/... ) of teenage angst that has been teleported into adulthood. Rational behavior is bullied and pushed over like that skinny kid from high school, when the mean football captain and his crew who were “popular” came down the hallway and no one stood up to them.
Rage comes at us from a part of our brain that is common to all vertebrate creatures. It is an aggressive tool, and also a defensive measure. We don’t really give it a second thought; it is an innate biochemical response. Electronic media and its delivery systems, such as tablets, smartphones, handheld devices all increase the activation of the region of the brain that is ready to fight or ready to defend. Yes, Virginia, dopamine spiking happens when you play with your phone or tablet. That’s how it was designed. That’s why Apple needs you to buy a new, more expensive version of the iPhone every year, and why so many companies want you to get the latest, most capacious little talking box “New Every Two.”
They need you to refresh your “fix.” They need you to keep plugging in. They’re making a profit off of your persistent rage.
Perhaps, the cost of being alive is what makes them so unhappy. The real world is expensive, and not getting any cheaper. That is a simple fact of life. Wishful thinking will not get anyone back to a 50-cent loaf of bread, a one-dollar gallon of milk, and a one-dollar dozen eggs. Gasoline is going to become more expensive, not just because of corporate profit-taking. It is a finite and expensive fuel. However, that is not something unique to our times. Costs have always risen for goods and services, except during complete economic collapse. Is that a wish that these miserable people have? How will being completely destitute serve them well? Will an economic collapse bring down the ultra-rich or even moderately wealthy people? History tells us that is not what happens. A few lose privilege, possessions, money and even their lives. But those who truly are in the upper echelon always find a way to survive.
Rage affects our judgement, logic and emotions.
If you are in dire straits, I can understand being upset and angry. But if you have “enough,” can make ends meet, or you are working toward a realistic goal, you should be feeling a sense of fulfillment. You should be able to temper your rage. How is making everyone else as miserable as you are going to improve your outlook?
You cannot fix the uncontrollables. All you can do is manage the hand life has dealt you.
I captioned this “What Rage Looks Like” because it is simply not something the average person thinks about. We don’t look in the mirror in the morning and say to ourselves, “I’m really angry about everything!” and then check ourselves for “the pose.” We really do not think about how our brains may have become injured through media, cellular technology 24/7, violence in movies and TV, generally being conditioned to watch it. We don’t think about how our own narcissism is being exacerbated by too much screen time and not enough real-world time.
Rage is a hot wire. Many people do not know how to deal with it. When you note its appearance in yourself, it can be disorienting and unsettling, perhaps downright scary! Even people who are highly self-aware and able to adapt, accept and change with conditions will tell you that the feeling is prominent and requires a lot of self-control to overcome it.
The best way to manage rage and inexplicable anger is to begin talking with someone about it.
Yes. It can be embarrassing. Yes. It does, in some individuals, get more pronounced and result in aggression. No, it is not a good way to live. Having said that, some people decide that ending their own lives is a way to escape the thoughts and feelings that come with rage. Josh Cohen at The Guardian ( getpocket.com/...) articulates his observations and perspectives on exposure to and origins of rage. It is definitely worth your time.
The rage we’re exposed to as a nation is based on falsehoods, bogus arguments and outright lying. It is a false equivalence that the lies are “just as good as” evidence-based information. Surrendering to a collective of incredibly greedy people and opportunistic confidence swindlers is not a way to go. But rage unchecked leaves us vulnerable to predators and conmen. It blinds us to the truth, makes us pursue vengeance that is baseless, puts us at one another’s throats.
As I wrap this up, another Meta/FB post of mine seems appropriate:
