Encore, Encore
Trackdown was a TV series that ran from 1957-59, and took place in the fictional Texas town of Porter following the Civil War. The great Robert Culp plays Ranger and de facto Sheriff Hoby Gilman. I'd never heard of the show until five years ago, when someone unearthed this clip from a 1958 episode (“The End of the World”) in which a con artist named—wait for it—Trump rides into town and tries to—wait for it—bamboozle the citizens into buying into a—wait for it—big beautiful wall to protect them from—wait for it—non-existent threats. And here we are again...
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You can watch the full episode here. My favorite line, now and forever: “You’re under arrest, Trump.”
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 13, 2025
Note: Today is Monday the 13th. No need to take any special precautions, except perhaps an extra dollop of hand lotion and new deadbolts on your doors, windows, dryer vent and chimney. Also avoid the parking police—those people are rude. Have a sunshine day.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Days 'til Squirrel Appreciation Day: 8
Days 'til the 63rd Convention of the U.S. Sweet Potato Council in Savannah, Georgia: 6
Years on record that were hotter than 2024: 0
Number of the last ten years that were the hottest on record: 10
Number of additional mortgages expected to be approved in the wake of the Biden administration's rule erasing unpaid medical bills from credit reports: 22,000
Closest distance from the surface of Mercury recently achieved by the European-Japanese spacecraft BepiColombo: 183 miles
Age of anti-gay warbler Anita Bryant when she died last month: 84
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Preview of Puppy Bowl XXI…
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CHEERS to more noses to the grindstone. If it's the first Friday of the first non-holiday week of the month, that means it's time for a fresh change of underwear the Bureau of Labor Statistics to release the latest jobs numbers. And once again, last week’s numbers earned Dark Brandon one final gold star:
Total nonfarm payroll employment increased by 256,000 in December, and the unemployment rate changed little at 4.1 percent, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Employment trended up in health care, government, and social assistance. Retail trade added jobs in December, following a job loss in November. […]
The sector that experienced the biggest gains in December: mall Santas. (But can it last?)
Private payrolls increased by 223 thousand, and public payrolls increased 33 thousand. … In December, the year-over-year change was 2.23 million jobs.
A strong employment report.
The positive economic movement is part of a radical and audacious American economic plan called—[Checks notes]—Let's Put Democrats In Charge of the Economy.
CHEERS to a job well done…we think. The junkyard dog investigator who was rarin' to tear into the crimey business of the current president-elect submitted his report to Attorney General Merrick Garland Friday. Then, knowing that time had run out and his target would never again see the inside of a courtroom, Jack Smith resigned:
Smith, who Garland tapped in November 2022 to lead [two] probes, charged Trump in June 2023 with 37 counts related to his handling of classified materials, after prosecutors said he repeatedly refused to return hundreds of documents containing classified information ranging from U.S. nuclear secrets to the nation's defense capabilities, and took steps to thwart the government's efforts to get the documents back.
Well, he tried.
Two month later, Smith indicted Trump on charges of undertaking a "criminal scheme" to overturn the results of the 2020 election in an effort to subvert democracy and remain in power.
Now the only question is whether or not Smith's report will make it to the eyeballs of the American public. Be prepared, people. If it sees the light of day, the indifference will be deafening.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to discs that aren’t the herniated kind. Wham-O began producing the "Frisbee" 68 years ago this month. Ever wonder where the name comes from?
The Frisbie Baking Company (1871-1958) of Bridgeport, Connecticut, made pies that were sold to many New England colleges. Hungry college students soon discovered that the empty pie tins could be tossed and caught, providing endless hours of game and sport.
A Frisbee from the ‘76 Democratic convention.
Many colleges have claimed to be the home of 'he who was first to fling.’ Yale College has even argued that in 1820, a Yale undergraduate named Elihu Frisbie grabbed a passing collection tray from the chapel and flung it out into the campus, thereby becoming the true inventor of the Frisbie and winning glory for Yale. That tale is unlikely to be true since the words 'Frisbie's Pies' was embossed in all the original pie tins and from the word 'Frisbie' was coined the common name for the toy.
Frisbees remind me of the Republican party: Lightweight, logic as contorted as a no-look reverse-flick backhanded corkscrew air bounce, and the only thing keeping them aloft is spin.
CHEERS to Self-evident Truths—Part 336 in our 33,975-part series. There's simply no argument on this one: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. And starting tonight we’ll prove it once again with the arrival of the full wolf moon:
The year's first full moon is best known as the "wolf moon" since wolves’ howls were more likely to be heard during winter, according to the Old farmer’s Almanac. [...]
"Howling and other wolf vocalizations are heard in the wintertime to locate pack members, reinforce social bonds, define territory, and coordinate hunting," according to the almanac.
“Arf.”
January’s full wolf moon reaches peak illumination Monday, Jan. 13 at 5:27 p.m. EST.
As a bonus, on the night of the full Moon, the moon will pass in front of Mars and be visible to most of the continental United States, NASA says.
Usual full-moon drill: if skies are clear, get yer butt out in the back yard, look up, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (Buzz Aldrin, thankfully, is still with us at 95), and give ‘em a wink. And if the mood hits ya, look up, think of Elon Musk’s “starman” in the Tesla floating through space and give it a middle finger.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 13, 2015
JEERS to the safety haters. Attorney generals from 26 states oughtta be demoted to private for filing a lawsuit challenging San Franciso's law requiring that gun owners there keep their firearms safely locked up. Their logic:
“Common sense dictates that in high stress, emergency situations, the ease and speed with which a person can utilize one of these mechanisms to unlock a safe drastically decreases,” the document reads. “It is common to fumble with keys while trying to hurriedly unlock a door, to forget a series of numbers when under pressure, or to struggle with hand-eye coordination when subjected to stressors.”
Exactly! Shitty hand-eye coordination with a gun is always preferable to shitty hand-eye coordination with a key. Just as long everyone in your family sleeps in Kevlar jammies.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to proving the dummy wrong. Fifteen years ago this week I got an URGENT email from some conservative hack who wanted me to know something very important. It's—as most of these conspiratorial screeds are—very long, but here's the Crazy Cliffs Notes version. Being a fan of alliteration, the first sentence gave me goosebumps:
The discredited, democrat funded 'DailyKos' web site continues with it's daily doctored, dishonest, democrat funded pro-Obama polling numbers. Today's doctored poll shows Obama's approval numbers a full EIGHT points higher than the average of all the respected, neutral, trusted polls and a full TEN points higher than the respected CBS News poll released earlier today.
Nobody crosses our Keyboard Kingpin. No one.
Let's be clear, Kos is taking money from democrats to doctor opinion polls and the boot-lickers and sycophants that support Kos are afraid to challenge Kos. Remember, dissenting opinion, debate and argument are not allowed on the Kos web site. If you disagree with Kos you are not allowed to post articles on the democrat funded Kos web site so none of the information regarding doctored Kos polls and other Kos lies will ever appear on his web site. Much like the low rated Olbermann program, dissent on the 'DailyKos' is forbidden!
The evidence and history of the phony doctored polls on the democrat funded DailyKos irrefutable and striking, unfortunately the anonymous so-called writers that post stories on Kos are not allowed to criticize him or they'll be banned for life.
And this is where yours truly takes the "democrat funded" risk of a lifetime—as I do every year at this time—by stepping off the ledge and testing the emailer's grand theory. As a Daily Kos "bootlicker" this is difficult, but here goes: Markos, you are a butthead. The rest is in God's hands. Please pray for my soul.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Bill in Portland Maine doesn't represent the kind of bold, dynamic, and courageous leadership our party needs right now."
—Gov. Tim Walz (D-MN)
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