Happy Tuesday! Rats. Trump’s back. I guess. I don’t know. Who cares?
Here it is Tuesday, and I’m already feeling like I’m a month behind on the news.
But on the other hand, I’m also well aware that the news sucks. So I don’t feel as bad as I might ordinarily. You all keep coming back, but I tell myself it’s for the company.
We’ll see how things go today. I actually felt winded, and even a little dizzy, at the end of yesterday’s 2-hour marathon. Note to self, today: breathe more often.
Today’s countdown numbers:
- It’s Day 14 of the shutdown. Sorry, we’re still closed!
- 1,194 days remaining in Trump’s legal term of office
- 385 days until the midterm elections, if we have them
- 446 days—if we have those elections—until we seat that new Congress.
Our random country generator says, today’s an unlucky day for: Jordan Vanuatu!
Going for an island theme this week, I guess. Taiwan, then Vanuatu.
Where’s Vanuatu? Well, head south-west from Hawaii, towards Australia. It’s out there, in the water.
Cool flag, too. You should take a look!
The more you learn about Vanuatu, the more reluctant you’ll be to impose an American invasion on them. But if we’re nice, they might let us come visit.
If you guys have got any rare earth minerals, keep that knowledge to yourself. And if Trump finds out who you are and how to get there, try buying some of his crypto. Or give him a superyacht.
You may get invaded anyway, but if you bribe him, you might at least get a hotel or two out of it.
Ha ha! Oh, well. That’s Our Trump!™
